Girls and Body Image

Source: Connect with Kids

“[Girls get the message], ‘This is who you should be, and this is what you should look like, this is the ideal,’ and the ideal isn’t even real.”

– Ann Moore, Ph.D., Psychologist

Beginning at a young age, girls have a desire to be beautiful.

“You’re learning who you are. You’re worrying about self-esteem issues, how you look,” 17-year-old Ginny says.

For some girls, the focus is on weight – the thinner, the better.

“The media just sort of drills it in, that this is the ideal body image, and you sort of feel the need to live up to that expectation,” says Robin, 16.

Friends Robin, Ginny and Halle agreed to an experiment designed to test their self-perception. Each was given a sheet of paper lined with silhouettes of various body images. They were asked to circle the image they felt best matched their own body.

After calculating their weight and height, each girl then circled an image that actually matched those numbers. The result turned out to be a thinner image than the one they originally chose. Why did the teens think they were heavier than they actually were?

“Everybody’s harder on themselves than they should be,” says Halle, 17.

According to a Georgia State University study of 14,000 high school students, a distorted body image increases the risk that a girl will attempt suicide.

One reason: media images that are unrealistic.

“[They get the message that], ‘This is who you should be, and this is what you should look like, this is the ideal,’ and the ideal isn’t even real,” says psychologist Dr. Ann Moore, program director for the Atlanta Center for Eating Disorders.

Robin, Ginny and Halle each say they have a pretty healthy self-image but recognize the potential danger for teens who don’t.

“If you have a really distorted body image, a lot of times you can start hurting yourself in totally unhealthy ways – crazy diets and anorexia and bulimia, or if you’re a guy, over-exercising your muscles,” Halle says.

The experts agree. They say parents can help counter a negative self-image by teaching their children, especially girls who are sometimes more vulnerable, how to focus on the things that are really important.

“[By] recognizing that she’s intelligent, recognizing that she’s got a lot of spunk, recognizing that she’s funny, that she’s got a great sense of humor. All of those things are much more important than what somebody looks like,” Dr. Moore says.

Tips for Parents

According to a study from the University of Delaware, teenage girls perceive themselves as weighing more than 10 pounds heavier than they actually do. For their study, researchers asked 172 adolescents (aged 13 to 17) to pick one of 27 silhouettes resembling how they see themselves and then pick another silhouette matching their ideal weight. The researchers found that girls on average viewed themselves as weighing 141 pounds, which was 8 pounds more than their average weight (133 pounds) and 11 pounds more than their ideal weight (130 pounds). While boys also saw themselves as weighing more than they did (185 pounds vs. 172 pounds), they picked a higher ideal weight (182 pounds) that was closer to their average weight.

What is body image? The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) defines body image as how one sees oneself when looking in a mirror or how one pictures oneself in one’s mind. Body image includes how a person feels not only about his or her weight but also height and shape.

It is important to understand that body images can be positive or negative. The NEDA cites the following descriptions for both a positive and negative body image:

Positive body image:

■Having a clear, true perception of one’s shape (seeing the various parts of the body as they really are)
■Celebrating and appreciating one’s natural body shape and understanding that a person’s physical appearance says very little about his or her character and value as a person
■Feeling proud and accepting of one’s unique body and refusing to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight and calories
■Feeling comfortable and confident in one’s body
Negative body image:

■Having a distorted perception of one’s shape (perceiving parts of the body unlike they really are)
■Being convinced that only other people are attractive and that one’s body size or shape is a sign of personal failure
■Feeling ashamed, self-conscious and anxious about one’s body
■Feeling uncomfortable and awkward in one’s body
So how can you determine if your teen has a negative body image and whether or not he or she is in danger? The experts at Chicago Parent magazine suggest looking for these trouble signs in your teen:

■Engaging in excessive exercise or training that isn’t required for his or her athletic activities at school and that intrudes on other important activities
■Engaging in sports for the sole purpose of improving appearance
■Having a preoccupation with looking like the extremely thin women or muscular men in the media
■Using large quantities of dietary supplements, such as creatine or protein powders, or steroids, such as ephedrine or androstenedione
■Experiencing sharp fluctuations in weight
■Fasting, attempting extreme diets or using laxatives, diuretics or other dangerous techniques to lose weight
■Feeling like he or she never looks good enough
■Needing frequent reassurance that he or she “looks OK”
■Thinking, worrying about and feeling distressed about his or her appearance
■Allowing his or her appearance concerns to limit social activities or negatively affect school or job performance
■Avoiding having all or part of his or her body seen by others (avoiding locker room situations or wearing clothes that alter or disguise his or her body)
If you recognize any of the signs previously listed, it is important that you talk with your teen about these issues as soon as possible. Whether your son or daughter has a negative body image, the University of South Florida suggests the following tips to help guide your discussion:

■Tell your teen how important it is that he or she identifies and accepts his or her strengths and weaknesses. Remind him or her that everyone has them and that no one is perfect.
■Remind your teen that goals must be realistic and he or she must take pride in his or her achievements.
■Tell your teen not to be someone else but to be proud of whom he or she is.
■Have your teen explore his or her own talents and learn to love and appreciate the unique person he or she has become.
As a parent, it is important to remember that you play a crucial role in how your teen feels about his or her body. You are often his or her role model, and your teen learns from what you say and do. To be a positive role model and to help prevent your teen from developing a negative body image, the NEDA suggests the following strategies:

■Consider your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors toward your own body and the way that these beliefs have been shaped by the forces of weightism and sexism.
■Educate your teen about the genetic basis for the natural diversity of human body shapes and sizes and the nature and ugliness of prejudice.
■Make an effort to maintain positive, healthy attitudes and behaviors.
■Avoid conveying messages that will lead your teen to believe he or she needs to look more like a model and fit into smaller clothes.
■Learn about and discuss with your teen the dangers of trying to alter one’s body shape through dieting, the value of moderate exercise for health and the importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals consumed at least three times a day.
■Make a commitment not to avoid activities, such as swimming, sunbathing, dancing, etc., simply because they call attention to your weight and shape.
■Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move and grow stronger, not to purge fat from your body or to compensate for calories eaten.
■Help your teen appreciate and resist the ways in which television, magazines and other media distort the true diversity of human body types and imply that a slender body means power, excitement, popularity or perfection.
■Encourage your teen to be active and to enjoy what his or her body can do and feel like. Do not limit his or her caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do this because of a medical problem.
■Do whatever you can to promote the self-esteem and self-respect of your teen in intellectual, athletic and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to dangerous dieting and a negative body image.

References
■Chicago Parent
■Georgia State University
■National Eating Disorders Association
■University of Delaware
■University of South Florida

Sue Scheff: Special Needs Camps

Source: Connect with Kids

“I look forward to it all year long. I keep in touch with the people I meet there – it’s probably the best thing I do all summer.”

– Justin, a diabetic camper

Fourteen-year-old Justin and 15-year-old Katherine have diabetes, but their illness doesn’t keep them from looking forward to summer camp.

“From the moment I leave, I’m looking forward to next year,” Katherine says. “It’s such a great experience, and it’s just so much fun.”

They play games, go canoeing and perform in talent shows just like other kids. And that’s the point, experts say.

“There is nothing like for a child with cancer or a child with diabetes to get out of the car or get off the bus and come into this group and realize, ‘everyone is in the same boat as me, and I don’t feel different anymore,’” says Dorothy Jordan, who founded Camp Sunshine, a camp for kids with cancer.

She says children with disabilities get as much – and maybe even more – out of camp as non-disabled kids. They don’t just have fun; they make friends who understand their problems.

“When I was first diagnosed, I couldn’t get over the shock that I was going to have to get two shots a day and have to prick my finger four times a day. I was just stunned and like, ‘who else has this?’” Justin explains.

Attending Camp Kudzu, a camp for kids with diabetes, helps Justin meet others who have the same disease.

Justin and Katherine are so excited about camp that they’re training to bike ride 70 miles – from home all the way to camp – to raise money for camp scholarships.

“He said my dream is that every child with diabetes should have the chance to go regardless of their ability to pay, and I want to do something to raise money,” says Avril Beckford Rowley, Justin’s mother.

Still, experts recommend that before you send your disabled child to camp, you should first ask some important questions: Is the camp accredited? Are the counselors prepared for medical trouble? Is the nursing staff equipped for your child’s challenge?

“You ask all the right questions, and if you can get the right answers, and you can have confidence in the program, it’s absolutely the right thing to do,” Jordan says.

Tips for Parents

For most, summer vacation is here. And many children are preparing for an unforgettable camp experience – and children with special needs are no exception. According to the Disabilities Statistics Center, an estimated 4 million children and adolescents, or 6.1% of the U.S. population under 18 years of age, have disabilities. And of the more than 12,000 camps in the United States, a large portion of them are designed specifically to fit the needs of disabled children. Whether your child has a learning or behavioral problem, a chronic illness or a mental or physical impairment, several camps are available to meet your child’s specific needs.

Why should your special needs child attend camp? According to the American Camp Association (ACA), your child can reap numerous benefits:

■Making new friends: Camp is a special place where your child can learn how to make a friend and how to be a friend. Counselors are trained to make sure that your child starts making friends as soon as he or she arrives, because camp is a community where kids work and play together, contribute and cooperate with each other.
■Enjoying a variety of activities: At camp, your child can experience tons of new activities – athletics, arts and crafts, dance, drama, nature, boating, computers and more.
■Making personal decisions: Attending camp provides your child with an opportunity to make his or her own decisions. Limits and boundaries exist so that your child will always feel safe, yet your child will be encouraged to make good choices. Camp is a place to practice growing up, under the watchful eye of trained, caring counselors.
■Feeling good about himself or herself: Through the camp experience, your child can learn to believe in himself or herself and to develop the courage to try new tasks.
■Being part of a special community: At camp, your child will have the opportunity to interact with other children. The camp experience is based on the building blocks of self-esteem: belonging, learning and contributing. Your child will learn to cooperate within a group and to respect others’ opinions.
■Having fun: Spending time at camp will allow your child to take a much-needed break from his or her problems. Your child can relax and forget about everything else except having FUN!
The Respite Coalition of Illinois lists these additional camp benefits for disabled children and their caregivers:

■Reduction in family stress
■Reduction in risk of abuse or neglect of disabled child
■Enhancement of family coping abilities
■Increased feelings of well-being
■Reduced feelings of depression
■Revitalization of caregivers’ energies
■Avoidance of burnout for caregiver
Choosing the right camp for your child can seem like an overwhelming task. Experts with the National Camp Association suggest asking the following questions while searching for a camp that fits your child’s needs:

■What is the camp director’s age and background? How long has the director run this camp?
■What are the camp’s goals and philosophy?
■What kind of camper is most likely to have a good experience at this camp?
■What facilities does the camp have, and how convenient are they for campers?
■What is the schedule like? Is it a structured program or one that emphasizes a lot of free choice?
■What is the camper-counselor ratio, and what are the characteristics of most of the staff?
■What kind of staff training is provided?
■What percentage of campers return each year?
■What is the total cost of the camp, including extras?
■What are the sleeping arrangements, and what types of toilet and shower facilities exist?
■What is the swimming instruction program like?
■How does the camp insure the safety and security of its campers?
■What is the food like, and who prepares it?
■What is the policy about food packages, letters home, television, trips to town, etc.?
■What medical facilities are available, and what medical staff is on campus?
■Is there a refund policy if the camper leaves early?
■Will the director supply references?
■What happens when the weather is bad?
■How does the camp program meet individual needs and differences?
■What kind of insurance coverage exists?

Don’t feel self-conscious about asking dozens of questions. A good camp will have paid a lot of attention to these parental concerns and should be eager to respond to them.

Once you find a camp that suits the needs of your child, the ACA advises parents to consider the following points to help prepare their children for a rewarding camp experience:

■Consider camp as a learning experience. This is an opportunity for your child to explore a world bigger than his or her neighborhood. It will allow him or her to develop autonomy and a stronger sense of self, make new friends, develop new social skills, learn about teamwork, be creative and more.
■Prepare for camp together. Decisions about camp, like what to pack, should be a joint venture, keeping in mind your child’s maturity. If your child feels like he or she is a part of the decision-making process, his or her chances of having a positive experience will improve.
■Talk about concerns. As the first day of camp nears, some children experience uneasiness about going away. Encourage your child to talk about these feelings rather than acting on what you think his or her feelings may be. Communicate confidence in your child’s ability to handle being away from home.
■Have realistic expectations. Camp, like the rest of life, has high and low points. Not every moment will be filled with wonder and excitement. Encourage your child to have a reasonable and realistic view of camp. Discuss both the ups and downs your child may experience. Your child should not feel pressured to succeed at camp, either. The main purposes of camp are to relax and have fun.
References
■American Camping Association
■Disability Statistics Center
■National Camp Association
■Respite Coalition of Illinois
■Camp Kudzu
■Camp Sunshine

Accessibility of RX Medication and Teens

Source: Connect with Kids

“There is a tremendous amount of medicines out there that are readily available in the bathrooms, in the cabinets at home as well as on the black market.”

– Steven Jaffe, M.D., adolescent psychiatrist

Many kids say they can get any prescription drug they might want. Joseph Caspar, 17, says he could get “vicodin, morphine, anything like that.” Patti Strickland says she could even get methadone.

According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, 61 percent of teens say prescription drugs are easier to get than any other drug.

One reason … easy accessibility.

“This is the age of medication,” explains Dr. Steven Jaffe, adolescent psychiatrist. “I think there is a tremendous amount of all sorts of medicines out there that are readily available in the bathrooms, in the cabinets at home as well as on the black market.”

In fact, kids say the medicine cabinet is the first place they look. “That’s mostly how it starts,” says 16-year-old T.J. Crutain.

That’s why, experts say, prescription medicine needs to be locked up.

“We have gun cabinets that are locked up to keep guns away from our teenagers,” says Dr. Herb Kleber, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University. “We should also develop locked medicine cabinets in order to help secure these agents so that it isn’t easy for teenagers to get to them.”

Carol Thomas recently lost her son, Ross, when he overdosed on prescription drugs. Ross was 16-years-old.

“Ross didn’t get anything from [our] medicine cabinet, but I know parents have it and there’s nothing wrong with that,” says Thomas. “If you need medication, you need medication. But I think that we’re silly to walk around and dangle a carrot in front of a kid’s face.”


Tips for Parents

OxyContin is a controlled-release pain reliever that can drive away pain for up to 12 hours when used properly. When used improperly, however, OxyContin is a highly addictive opioid closely related to morphine. As individuals abuse the drug, the effects lessen over time, leading to higher dosage use.

Consider the following:

The supply of OxyContin is soaring. Sales of OxyContin, first marketed in 1996, hit $1.2 billion in 2003.

The FDA reports that OxyContin may have played a role in 464 deaths across the country in 2000 to 2001.

In 2000, 43 percent of those who ended up in hospital emergency rooms from drug overdoses – nearly 500,000 people – were there because of misusing or abusing prescription drugs.
In seven cities in 2000 (Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Seattle, and Washington, D.C.) 626 people died from overdose of painkillers and tranquilizers. By 2001, such deaths had increased in Miami and Chicago by 20 percent.

From 1998 to 2000, the number of people entering an emergency room because of misusing or abusing oxycodone (OxyContin) rose 108 percent. The rates are intensifying … from mid-2000 to mid-2001, oxycodone went up in emergency room visits 44 percent.

OxyContin is typically abused in one of three ways …

By removing the outer coating and chewing the tablet.
By dissolving the tablet in water and injecting the fluid intravenously.
By crushing the tablet and snorting the powder.

Because the U.S. Food and Drug Administration puts its seal of approval on prescription drugs, many teens mistakenly believe that using these drugs – even if they are not prescribed to them – is safe. However, this practice can, in fact, lead to addiction and severe side effects. How can you determine if your teen is abusing drugs? The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests looking for the following warning signs and symptoms in your teen:

Physical: Fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and glazed eyes and a lasting cough
Emotional: Personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability, irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression and a general lack of interest

Familial: Starting arguments, breaking rules or withdrawing from the family
School-related: Decreased interest, negative attitude, drop in grades, many absences, truancy and discipline problems

Social: having new friends who are less interested in standard home and school activities, problems with the law, and changes to less conventional styles in dress and music

If you believe your teen has a problem with drug abuse, you can take several steps to get the help he or she needs.

The American Academy of Family Physicians suggests contacting your health-care provider so that he or she can perform an adequate medical evaluation in order to match the right treatment or intervention program with your teen.

You can also contact a support group in your community dedicated to helping families coping with addiction.

Substance abuse can be an overwhelming issue with which to deal, but it doesn’t have to be.

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers the following strategies to put into practice so that your teen can reap the rewards of a healthy, drug-free life:

Be your teen’s greatest fan.

Compliment him or her on all of his or her efforts, strength of character and individuality.

Encourage your teen to get involved in adult-supervised after-school activities.

Ask him or her what types of activities he or she is interested in and contact the school principal or guidance counselor to find out what activities are available.

Sometimes it takes a bit of experimenting to find out which activities your teen is best suited for, but it’s worth the effort – feeling competent makes children much less likely to use drugs.

Help your teen develop tools he can use to get out of drug-related situations.

Let him or her know he or she can use you as an excuse: “My mom would kill me if I smoked marijuana!”

Get to know your teen’s friends and their parents. Set appointments for yourself to call them and check-in to make sure they share your views on alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.

Steer your teen away from any friends who use drugs.

Call teens’ parents if their home is to be used for a party.

Make sure that the party will be drug-free and supervised by adults.

Set curfews and enforce them. Let your teen know the consequences of breaking curfew.

Set a no-use rule for alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.

Sit down for dinner with your teen at least once a week. Use the time to talk – don’t eat in front of the television.

Get – and stay – involved in your teen’s life.

References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
American Academy of Family Physicians
Partnership for a Drug-Free America
National Institute on Drug Abuse
U.S. Food & Drug Administration

Parent Addicts

ADDICTED PARENTS

Source: Connect with Kids

“I was afraid when I’d go to school, she’d get drunk and hurt herself, or get behind the wheel, or crash into somebody.”

– George Evans, 15, child of recovering alcoholic

Every year, the government spends billions of dollars on the war on drugs. Yet, in millions of homes across the country, that battle made even more difficult because kids live with an adult who uses drugs.

One such household was George Evans’ home.

He used to skip school for days, even weeks at a time, mostly because of his mother. “I was afraid when I’d go to school, she’d get drunk and hurt herself, or get behind the wheel, or crash into somebody,” George remembers.

Between Kindergarten and the eighth grade, George missed over four hundred days of school. But as Steve Harris, licensed clinical social worker, explains, “It’s an extreme case in the degree to which it’s happening, missing 400 days of school, it’s common in the sense of the role reversal.”

George’s mom, Starlet agrees, “Your child feels that they have to be there to watch you.”

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, over 9 million children live with a parent who abuses drugs or alcohol.

And experts say that instability can be harmful to kids.

“Effects such as conduct disorders, higher rates of anxiety or depression, certainly a higher rate of problems in school, behavior problems,” and Harris says, a higher rate of addiction among those children.

“If it’s the parent who’s using the substance, then the child is at a greater likelihood for substance abuse, genetically as well as environmentally,” he explains.

And, he says, too often parents don’t view nicotine as a serious addiction and forget how tobacco can harm their kids in one other way, “It seems minor in terms of the social acceptance of it, but I’ve also worked with a lot of people whose parents have died of lung cancer. And that’s a pretty profound effect on anybody’s life.”

With a lot of help, George’s mom is no longer drinking, and George is back in school. “It makes my job a little easier to go to school,” says George, “we both kind of needed that stability.”


Tips for Parents

There is an extraordinarily large number of children at risk because of parental drug use. Experts at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration surveyed over 87,000 parents aged 18 and older about their substance dependence and abuse. They found nearly 12 percent of children live with a parent who abuses drugs.

Almost 7.3 million youths lived with a parent who was dependent on or abused alcohol
About 2.1 million children lived with a parent who was dependent on or abused illicit drugs
About 5.4 million children lived with a father who met the criteria for past-year substance dependence or abuse
About 3.4 million children lived with a mother who met these criteria

According to experts at American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology (AACAP), a child in a substance-abusing family may have a variety of problems including:

Guilt – The child may see himself or herself as the main cause of the mother’s or father’s drinking.

Anxiety – The child may worry constantly about the situation at home. He/she may fear the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured, and may also fear fights and violence between the parents.

Embarrassment – Parents may give the child the message that there is a terrible secret at home. The ashamed child does not invite friends home and is afraid to ask anyone for help.
Inability to have close relationships

Confusion – The alcoholic parent will change suddenly from being loving to angry, regardless of the child’s behavior. A regular daily schedule, which is very important for a child, does not exist because bedtimes and mealtimes are constantly changing.

Anger – The child feels anger at the substance-abusing parent for using drugs, and may be angry with the non-using parent for lack of support and protection.
Depression – The child feels lonely and helpless to change the situation.

Although the child tries to keep the drug use a secret, teachers, relatives, other adults or friends may sense that something is wrong. Child and adolescent psychiatrists with AACAP advise that the following behaviors may signal a substance abuse problem at home:

Failure in school and/or truancy
Lack of friends and/or withdrawal from classmates
Delinquent behavior, such as stealing or violence
Frequent physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches
Abuse of drugs or alcohol
Aggression toward other children
Risk-taking behaviors
Depression or suicidal thoughts or behavior

The following are some suggestions from experts at the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information for actions that families or friends can take to prevent substance abuse by teens for whom they are responsible:

Establish and enforce rules against underage drinking. Keep alcohol, tobacco products and prescription drugs out of the reach of children too young to adhere to such rules. Do not use or store illegal drugs in your home. Avoid exposing others to tobacco smoke and acknowledge that regular smoking is unhealthy.

Be clear and consistent in stating your expectation that underage youth in your charge will not use alcohol, tobacco or other drugs (ATOD). Let other parents know your views if your children are going to be guests in their homes.

Be aware of the connection between alcohol and other drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. Make children aware that using alcohol and other drugs can lead to unplanned and unprotected sex. Many drugs, including alcohol and tobacco products, interfere with the body’s immune system.

If a family member exhibits signs of an ATOD problem, be prepared to connect them with appropriate help in your area. Know what alcoholism, addiction and ATOD dependence are, and what resources are available to you.
Help children and adolescents learn the health, safety and legal consequences of using ATOD. Be sure they understand that alcohol and tobacco are drugs and are as dangerous as illegal drugs.
Model low-risk alcohol use and ask others in your community to do so as well. Be a responsible host.

Be sure children have easy access to a wide range of appealing, ATOD-free alternative activities and safe, monitored areas where they can gather.

Discuss alcohol and tobacco advertising and marketing. Ask what he/she thinks about these messages, whether he/she understands their purpose, and whether he/she recognizes that these messages do not teach the possible harmful effects of using these products.

Be a positive role model. Do not engage in any illegal, unhealthy or dangerous ATOD-use practices. Provide an example consistent with your messages to the child.

Provide lots of love, support and encouragement and help a child learn to do something well.

References
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology
National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information

Parent's Influence on Teen Drinking

Source: Connect with Kids

“My parents are pretty powerful in my life. I have their respect, and they have mine.”
– Deepak, 16 years old

Teenagers are bound to experiment with drugs, alcohol and sex – right?

Not necessarily, says 15-year-old Nick. “It’s not inevitable,” he says. “It’s just a personal decision.”

“There’s [sic] a lot of people who just don’t want to try any of that stuff, but there are some people who do,” says 15-year-old Chris Mullings.

The Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs reports that when underage drinkers are disciplined by their parents they are less likely to become heavy drinkers compared to kids whose parents ignore their drinking.

“My parents have a pretty big influence on everything that I believe in – what I will and won’t do,” says Elizabeth, 15.

Nick echoes her sentiments. “For all my decisions, I’m always thinking about what they taught me, and even if I don’t do what they said, it’s still always in my head,” he says.

What’s more, teens themselves say parents help them make healthy choices by talking to them and knowing where they are, whom they’re with and what they’re doing. And when their expectations are clear.

“If they have heard what you think is appropriate behavior and you have modeled it, when they are in a position where they have to think critically, they have already had a chance to, in some ways, rehearse it,” says psychologist Dr. Peter Thomas.

And, experts say, if you find your teen has been experimenting- speak up!

“By not commenting directly, they’re, in essence, giving their child permission to continue to drink or get stoned or do whatever they’re doing because the child will interpret their silence as its okay, it doesn’t matter,” explains psychologist, Alexandra Phipps. “I would tell parents if you don’t talk about things with your child, it’s probably going to happen again and again and it’s probably going to get worse.”

Tips for Parents

Research defines binge drinking as having five or more drinks in a row. Reasons adolescents give for binge drinking include: to get drunk, the status associated with drinking, the culture of drinking on campus, peer pressure and academic stress. Binge drinkers are 21 times more likely to: miss class, fall behind in schoolwork, damage property, injure themselves, engage in unplanned and/or unprotected sex, get in trouble with the police, and drink and drive.
Young people who binge drink could be risking serious damage to their brains now and increasing memory loss later in adulthood. Adolescents may be even more vulnerable to brain damage from excessive drinking than older drinkers.

Consider the following:

The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13. The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.

Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.

Seventy-seven percent of young drinkers get their liquor at home, with or without permission.

Students who are binge drinkers in high school are three times more likely to binge drink in college.

Nearly 25 percent of college students report frequent binge drinking, that is, they binged three or more times in a two-week period.

Autopsies show that patients with a history of chronic alcohol abuse have smaller, less massive and more shrunken brains.

Alcohol abstinence can lead to functional and structural recovery of alcohol-damaged brains.
Alcohol is America’s biggest drug problem. Make sure your child understands that alcohol is a drug and that it can kill him/her. Binge drinking is far more pervasive and dangerous than boutique pills and other illicit substances in the news. About 1,400 students will die of alcohol-related causes this year. An additional 500,000 will suffer injuries.

A study by the Harvard School of Public Health showed that 51 percent of male college students and 40 percent of female college students engaged in binge drinking in the previous two weeks. Half of these drinkers binged frequently (more than three times per week). College students who binge drink report:

Interruptions in sleep or study habits (71 percent).
Caring for an intoxicated student (57 percent).
Being insulted or humiliated (36 percent).
An unwanted sexual experience (23 percent).
A serious argument (23 percent).
Damaging property (16 percent).
Being pushed, hit or assaulted (11 percent).
Being the victim of a sexual advance assault or date rape (1 percent).

Students must arrive on college campuses with the ability to resist peer pressure and knowing how to say no to alcohol. For many youngsters away from home for the first time, it is difficult to find the courage to resist peer pressure and the strength to answer peer pressure with resounding no. Parents should foster such ability in their child’s early years and nurture it throughout adolescence. Today’s youth needs constant care from parents and community support to make the best decisions for their wellbeing.

References
Alcohol Policies Project
Focus Adolescent Services
Harvard School of Public Health
National Youth Violence Prevention Center
Psychological Assessment Research & Treatment Services

Video Game Addiction

Source: Connect with Kids

“When kids don’t have access to the computer, they feel unhappy, disphoric, bored, lonely. They need the computer and the computer game again to gain their sense of control, mastery and feel happy again.”

– Ashraf Attalla, M.D., Child Psychiatrist

For years Kristen Blosser has loved video games. She plays every single day.

“Four hours a day. Um you know if I don’t have anything to do that day I will try and play all day long,” says Blosser, 19.

Her current favorite? “World of Warcraft. It’s been a game that I’ve recently gotten addicted to.”

Kristen may joke about being ‘addicted’, but according to researchers at Iowa State University, nearly 10 percent of kids are video game addicts.

“Video games are very addictive,” says Dr. Attalla, “And some adolescents, children, become addicted to games. They play enormous amount of time on games.”

Experts say spending more than 14 hours a week playing is one indicator. “Consistent preoccupation with the game is another thing. Feeling euphoric and happy,” says Dr. Attalla, “Depressed and lonely when you’re not playing the game and the constant urge and need to keep playing the game to feel happy again. Those kids can’t finish their homework anymore on time. They’re socially withdrawn from their circle of friends. They’re not as interested in other things.”

Both Zachary Moore and his dad love video games, but they play no more than an hour per day.

“My mom or dad stops me when I get too much,” says Zachary.

“I mean it’s not something that they just turn off. I mean you have to basically manage and tell them to stop playing,” points out his father, Charles.

Dr. Attalla says it’s simple: “Access to the computer, the kind of games that they play, the amount of time that they spend should be tightly controlled by the parents.”

Tips for Parents

For many parents, video games are likely to be low on the list of addiction risks for their children. But as the video industry continues to grow, video game addiction is a problem being faced by more and more parents. This is especially true as the landscape of the video-game industry continues to change. Gone are the days of Super Mario and Donkey Kong. In their places are dark, adult-themed games like Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat.

While video games in and of themselves are not bad, excessive and unobserved game playing can lead to problems. According to experts at the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF), there are steps you can take to lessen the likelihood of your child getting addicted to video games. Consider the following:

Limit game playing time. (Recommended: No more than one hour per day.)
Play with your child to become familiar with the games.
Provide alternative ways for your child to spend time.
Require that homework and jobs be done first; use video game playing as a reward.
Do not put video game set in a child’s room where he/she can shut the door and isolate himself/herself.
Talk about the content of the games.

Ask your video store to require parental approval before a violently rated video game can be rented by children.

When buying video games for your child, it is important to purchase games targeted at his/her audience. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rates every video and computer game for age appropriateness (located on the front of the packaging) and, when appropriate, labels games with content descriptions. The ESRB’s current rating standard is as follows:

EC – Early Childhood (3 and older)
E – Everyone (6 and older)
E10+ – Everyone (10 and older)
T – Teens (13 and older)
M – Mature audiences (17 and older)
AO – Adults Only
RP – Ratings Pending

There are also other considerations besides the rating to take into account when deciding whether to purchase a video game for your child. Children Now, a research and action organization, offers these additional tips for helping you to choose the right video games for your child:

Know your child. Different children handle situations differently. Regardless of age, if your child becomes aggressive or unsettled after playing violent video games, don’t buy games with violence in them. Likewise, if your child likes playing games with characters that look like him/her, purchase games with characters that fit the bill.

Read more than the ratings. While the ESRB ratings can be helpful, they do not tell the whole story. Some features that you may consider violent or sexual may not be labeled as such by the ESRB. In addition, the ESRB does not rate games for the positive inclusion of females. The language on the packaging may give you a better idea of the amount and significance of violence and sexuality and the presence of gender and racial diversity or stereotypes in the game.

Go online. The ESRB website provides game ratings as well as definitions of the rating system. In addition, you can visit game maker and distributor websites to learn more about the contents of a game. Some have reviews that will provide even more information about the game.
Rent before you buy. Many video rental stores also rent video games and consoles. Take a trial run before you purchase a game.

Talk to other parents. Find out which games other parents like and dislike, as well as which games they let your child play when he/she visits their house. This is a good way to learn about the games that your child enjoys and those that other parents approve of, and to let other parents know which games you do not want your child playing.

Play the games with your child. Know what your child is being exposed to and how he/she reacts to different features in the games.

Talk about what you see. If your child discovers material that he/she finds disturbing or that you find inappropriate, talk about it. This is a great opportunity to let your child know what your values are as well as to help him/her deal with images that may be troubling.

Set limits. If you are worried that your child spends too much time playing video games, limit the amount of time or specify the times of day that video games can be played.

Put the games in a public space. Just as with the Internet, keep your game consoles and computers in public family space so that you can be aware of the material your child is viewing.
Contact the game makers. If you find material that you think is offensive or inappropriate, let the people who make and sell the games know about it. Likewise, let game makers know if you think that a game provides healthy messages or images. They do care what you think!

References
Children Now
Entertainment Software Association
Entertainment Software Rating Board
Federal Trade Commission
Iowa State University
National Institute on Media and the Family

Teen Entrepreneur

Source: Connect with Kids

“I’m a gigantic believer in the value of an entrepreneurial experience- if there’s any time in someone’s life when they ought to take a risk it’s when they are not saddled with an enormous number of financial and family responsibilities.”

– Andrea Hershatter, Ph.D., M.B.A.

When today’s teens talk about what they want to be when they grow up … the answer that is becoming more common than ever is: my own boss.

Like a lot of college freshmen, Sean Belnick has a job on the side. He works for a company that brings in more than 20-million dollars a year. It’s his company… he owns it.

“We started off with a couple of orders a day and it just mushroomed from there,” he says.

A huge warehouse now stocks the office chairs he sells online. But it all started in his bedroom, when he was 15 years old.

“I always had an entrepreneurial spirit,” he says.

More teens than ever are tapping into their entrepreneurial spirit. In fact, according to Junior Achievement Worldwide, interest in entrepreneurship camps is up 30 percent.

What’s more, experts say, kids have a huge advantage as entrepreneurs because they know the web and know network sites like Facebook and Myspace.

“They intuitively understand the power and potential of using web based services for distribution, for marketing, for outreach… for connections,” says Andrea Herchatter with Emory University, “And they’re incredible networkers who have a very large number of human resources in terms of their peers at their disposal.”

“That’s the whole thing with the internet really,” says Belnick, “Anyone can put a web site up. And it looks professional. But there’s nothing saying that there’s a 20-year-old kid behind it. Which is the biggest thing about the internet, you know, you can create your own credibility.”

Experts say parents should encourage entrepreneurship in their kids… whether it’s moving lawns or an online business.

They may not make millions… but they will learn a lot about managing a business and turning a profit.

“I think they learn, they grow, they mature. If they are not enriched financially then at least they are enriched in terms of life experiences that will serve them forever,” says Herchatter.

Tips for Parents

With the employment rate down for teens, many are opting for volunteer positions instead of paid positions. And despite many adults being convinced of a decline in the values and morals of today’s young people, recent surveys show that many teens are giving of their time to work for causes in which they believe and to help those who are less fortunate. Teens find volunteer opportunities through religious organizations, school-based programs and community agencies.

Teens listed several reasons for volunteering:

Compassion for people in need
Feeling they can do something for a cause in which they believe
A belief that if they help others, others will help them
In addition, some teens volunteer their time in occupational fields in which they are interested. In addition to being helpful, they are able to use their experiences in deciding on future career choices.

Teens reported benefiting from their volunteer experiences in many ways, including:

Learning to respect others.
Learning to be helpful and kind.
Learning to understand people who are different from them.
Developing leadership skills.
Becoming more patient.
Gaining a better understanding of good citizenship.
Exploring or learning about career options.
Developing new career goals.
Children learn from their parents. The survey showed teens that reported having positive role models were nearly twice as likely to volunteer as those who did not. Encourage your child to volunteer by setting an example. Youth Service America provides additional ways to increase teen volunteerism:

Ask them to volunteer.
Encourage youth to get involved at an early age. Volunteering when young creates lifelong adult volunteers.
Encourage children and young adults to participate in community groups, faith-based organizations, student government and school projects.
Encourage a positive self-image so young people are able to help others and contribute to their communities.
Be a mentor in your community.
Provide young people with opportunities to take courses that include and even require community service.

References
The Higher Education Research Institute
The Independent Sector
Youth Service America

Middle School Sex

Source: Connect with Kids

“I wanted to be in the 'in' crowd and my friends. And I wanted to be able to say 'yes, I've had sex before,'”

– Katelyn, Age 13

Katelyn is now 16, but when she was only 13, “I started skipping school,” she says. “Having sex.”

“I wanted to be in the ‘in’ crowd and my friends,” Katelyn explains, “and I wanted to be able to say ‘yes, I’ve had sex before’.”

According to a new study by the University of Texas, 12 percent of 7th graders have had sex. Nearly 8 percent have had oral sex. What’s more, nearly a third aren’t using protection.

Experts say one problem is instead of getting information about sex from their parents and other adults, kids are getting it from other kids.

“And a lot of the information that they are getting from each other is poor information, its misinformation, and it’s not good,” says sex educator, Sheena Pope-Holland.

And in a time when sexual messages are everywhere, parents need to have lots of conversations about sex and they need to begin when the kids are young.

“What they can expect to face in terms of pressures from their friends,” explains teen counselor Marie Mitchell, “In terms of what these new feelings will mean in their lives, what the consequences of acting on those feelings might be.”

She says parents also need to be pro-active: Get to know your child's friends. Know what they’re doing and where they're going and when they’re supposed to return.

And make sure your rules are age appropriate.

“You don't allow a 13-year-older to go out on a date by herself, because she's not mature enough to handle those situations,” says Mitchell.

Katelyn has been abstinent for over a year. What convinced her were conversations with teenage mothers.

“That was I think the biggest slap in the face to me…for somebody outside of my family to tell me ‘you’re dumb, you’re stupid, look where I am, I have nothing, I have absolutely nothing…do you want to be like this when you’re my age?’”

Tips for Parents

The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that portrayals of sex on entertainment television may contribute to precocious adolescent sex. Approximately two-thirds of television programs contain sexual content, and adolescents who viewed more sexual content were more likely to initiate intercourse and progress to more advanced non-coital sexual activities. Youths in the top 10th percentile of television sex viewing were twice as likely to have sex as those youths who were in the bottom 10th percentile of viewing.

Adolescence is a key period of sexual exploration and development. This is the time when teens begin to consider which sexual behaviors are enjoyable, moral and appropriate for their age group. Many teens become sexually active during this period; currently, 46 percent of high school students in the United States admit to having had sexual intercourse. Consider the following:

By ninth grade, 34 percent of teens have had sexual intercourse. By 12th grade, this figure increases to 60 percent.

On average, teens watch three hours of television every day.

Watching a program that talked about sex was associated with the same risks as exposure to a program that depicted sexual behavior.

Approximately one in seven television programs includes a portrayal of sexual intercourse.
Television programs with sexual content have an average of 4.4 scenes per hour containing sexually related material.

Youths who watched more depictions of sexual risks or safety were less likely to initiate intercourse.

Watching sex on television predicts and may hasten adolescent sexual initiation. Reducing the amount of sexual content in entertainment programming, reducing adolescent exposure to this content, or increasing references to and depictions of the possible negative consequences of sexual activity could delay when teens embark on sexual activities. A quarter of all sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease each year. According to 57 percent of adults and 72 percent of teens, the media has given "more attention" to teen pregnancy prevention in recent years.

Remember that as a parent you may be able to reduce the effects of sexual content in the media by watching television with your teenagers and discussing your own beliefs about sex and the behaviors being portrayed. Most parents say they have discussed sex with their teenagers, but far fewer teenagers say they had such talks with their parents. Sixty-nine percent of teens report that it would be "much easier" to postpone sexual activity if they could have "more open, honest conversations" about sex with their parents. In addition:

About 60 percent of teens have a television in their bedroom. The only way to keep parental control of television viewing is to not let your teen have a television in the bedroom.
Unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are more common among those who begin sexual activity earlier.

Two-thirds of sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer to have intercourse.
Seventy-nine percent of teenage virgins are not embarrassed to tell others they have not had sex.

Youngsters who receive little parental supervision may have more time and freedom to watch sexually based programming and more opportunities to engage in sexual activity.

References
The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation
Medical News Today
Pediatrics
Rand Corporation
Talk With Your Kids
USA Today

Swine Flu

Source: Connect with Kids

“During a time if people are nervous or scared, we can run out of essential goods. And so if people begin to prepare now and stock up on those things that can keep over time, such as non-perishable food and water and medicine… they’ll be in better shape for the pandemic.”

– Rachel Eidex, Centers for Disease Control

The outbreak of the swine flu has many Americans, parents especially, worrying about their own safety and the safety of their children. Before a possible pandemic, the CDC has several recommendations.

First, get in touch with your child’s school. “I think they should ask the schools, does the school have a plan for pandemic influenza, what is the plan,” explains Rachel Eidex of the Centers for Disease Control.

And, explains Jacquelyn Polder, also of the Centers for Disease Control, “How will they plan to communicate with parents regarding when the school will close or when it will open.”

Next, the CDC recommends that families have plan that, according to Eidex, would include, what you’re going to do if your children stay home from school.” Also, who will take care of the kids, should they stay in the house, if they do go out- where can they go? And, just as important, how do you keep the family entertained for days on end.

Georgie Renz, mother of two, has an idea, “Board games, songs, please, don’t let the t-v go away!”

Number three on the CDC’s list: stock up on supplies. Families should have at least two weeks of food and medicines stored. “During a time if people are nervous or scared, we can run out of essential goods,” explains Eidex. “And so if people begin to prepare now and stock up on those things that can keep over time, such as non-perishable food and water and medicine… they’ll be in better shape for the pandemic.”

Finally, Eidex advises the best prevention is good hygiene, “Wash their hands regularly. After sneezing, after coughing, after blowing their nose.”

And that’s not always easy for little kids, like 11 year old Morgan, to remember, “Cause sometimes I just get distracted and forget.”

Mother of three, Debra Mecher says, “You have to reiterate, you have to stress ‘wash your hands before you eat, wash your hands after you use the bathroom. Wash your hands whenever you’ve touched something that maybe wasn’t clean.”

And there is no better time to prepare than right now.

“Rather than sitting around and worrying about it and dwelling on it, just get yourself ready the best you can,” says Mecher.

Swine flu is a respiratory disease of pigs caused by type A influenza viruses that causes regular outbreaks in pigs. People do not normally get swine flu, but human infections can and do happen. Swine flu viruses have been reported to spread from person-to-person, but in the past, this transmission was limited and not sustained beyond three people.

Tips for Parents

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), Swine Flu is currently at a phase 4 pandemic alert. Phase 4 is “characterized by verified human-to-human transmission of an animal or human-animal influenza reassortant virus able to cause ‘community-level outbreaks’.” This current outbreak has infected over 250 people in 7 countries. There are over 2,000 more cases still unconfirmed by laboratory testing.

The symptoms of swine flu in people are similar to the symptoms of regular human flu and include fever, cough, sore throat, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Some people have reported diarrhea and vomiting associated with swine flu. In the past, severe illness (pneumonia and respiratory failure) and deaths have been reported with swine flu infection in people. Like seasonal flu, swine flu may cause a worsening of underlying chronic medical conditions.
There are antiviral medications used to treat swine flu. Antiviral drugs are prescription medicines (pills, liquid or an inhaler) that fight against the flu by keeping flu viruses from reproducing in your body. If you get sick, antiviral drugs can make your illness milder and make you feel better faster. They may also prevent serious flu complications. For treatment, antiviral drugs work best if started soon after getting sick (within 2 days of symptoms). There is no vaccine, however, to prevent contracting the swine flu.

The CDC gives these tips on how to stay healthy:

Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.
Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hands cleaners are also effective.
Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread that way.
Try to avoid close contact with sick people.
Influenza is thought to spread mainly person-to-person through coughing or sneezing of infected people.
If you get sick, CDC recommends that you stay home from work or school and limit contact with others to keep from infecting them.
Emergency warning signs that your child may need urgent medical attention include:

Fast breathing or trouble breathing
Bluish skin color
Not drinking enough fluids
Not waking up or not interacting
Being so irritable that the child does not want to be held
Flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse cough
Fever with a rash

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
World Health Organization

When Parents Blame the School

Source: Connect with Kids

“Academics was hard, and trying to fit in was harder.”

– Brendon, 14, talking about his experience in a new middle school

When Brendon Yag entered middle school, his grades began to drop and so did his attitude.

“Academics was hard and trying to fit in was harder,” says Brendon, 14.

His mom says she met with the principal, and didn’t like what she heard. “He felt I needed to let my child fail,” says Meg Yag, “to understand the consequences of what he was or was not doing.”

Meg lost confidence in the school’s approach, but experts warn when dissatisfaction with a school turns into outward disrespect voiced by the parent, the child may feel it’s okay to misbehave.

“The child is in between, like a custody case between the school and parents, and will take an opportunity not to respect the rules of the school,” says psychologist Dr. June Kaufman.

Brendon’s mom was careful to not criticize the school in front of her son. “The school is a fabulous school for the right kind of kid. It was not the right kind of school for my kids,” she says.

After two years floundering in his middle school, Brendon switched to a different school. But experts say if parents don’t have that choice, and their child is having problems, there are a couple things the parent can do.

First, visit the school before forming an opinion, and observe your child to get a better idea of what really is going on.

Second, talk with administrators about how they might be able to better accommodate your child’s learning needs.

“And importantly,” says Kaufman, “if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversation with the teacher before they enroll, if they think that child is a good fit, with the teacher.”

And parents should always make kids realize, you won’t always blame the school, or the teacher, if your child has problems.

“My mom told me that if I get in trouble again, I get in big trouble,” says Brendon, “So I’m good now.”

Tips for Parents
################

Should parents side with their child in a dispute between the child and the school? Here are excerpts from an interview on the subject with Dr. June Kaufman, a licensed psychologist:

“I think it creates more problems when (parents) side with their child,” Dr. Kaufman says. “The child is in between, like in a custody case, between the school and parents, and the child will take the opportunity not to respect the rules of the school…

“The most important thing is to have a good fit between the child, teacher and school and have a situation where the parents can work with the school. If the parents are getting calls every day at work about behavior problems at school, they have to look into it, they have to respond, without blaming the school. I think they should look at a school’s policies and, importantly, if there’s a choice among teachers, try to determine in conversations with the teacher—before they enroll the child—if they think their child is a good fit with the teacher. The child has to know, ‘this is a good place for you.’

“I think you have to say to the child, ‘I’ve heard from the teacher that there’s (a problem). I don’t know the whole story. I’ll take your side this time, but if this behavior continues, I’m going to be meeting with the teacher and learning much more about it. So, I don’t know the whole story yet and I might even have to observe in the classroom.’

“There isn’t a perfect child, and even the most model child may even have difficulty, so you don’t want to necessarily believe everything your child tells you.”

Some suggestions for positive steps toward better discipline from the National Education Association (NEA):

Let your children know you like them. Tell your children how much you admire their good qualities.
Let your children know exactly what you expect of them – set limits.
Encourage responsible decision-making. Whenever possible, find areas in which you know your children can make decisions for themselves.
Set a good example. Remember that children are great imitators.
Encourage your children to respect authority. At home, in school, and in other areas of their lives, your children need to know the importance of respecting authority.
If your child is having problems in or out of school, the NEA says don’t waste your time blaming yourself. Although you share the responsibility for your children’s development, you aren’t the only one who influences them. Communicate with your children about the problems they are having. Help them look for solutions.

Finally, the NEA says, “Keep in mind that you can’t shield your children from the problems of the real world. Nor can you keep accidents from happening. Some attempts at good parenting may be overzealous. By trying to avoid being too protective and solicitous for your children’s concerns you can help them become truly independent people.”

References
Dr. June Kaufman, psychologist
National Education Association

Can Students Prevent Violence by Telling?

Source: Connect with Kids

Can Students Prevent Violence by Telling?

“He was saying ‘I’m gonna kill people,’ everyone took it as a joke. I can’t say that I would take it any differently.”

– Joanna, 15, talking about the school shooting in Santee, California

A student who seems strange, a comment that sounds frightening … how can students tell who’s serious and who isn’t, what’s a joke and what’s a real threat?

The problem is students say those kinds of ‘jokes’ are made all the time.

“I’ve had friends who were just like, ‘man I just want to kill that teacher’ or ‘I just hate it here and want to blow up the school,’” says Tara-Lynn, a high school junior, “I’ve probably said things like that myself.”

“I mean I hear people say that all the time. I don’t take it seriously,” adds Joanna, a freshman.

When should students take it seriously? They’re in a bind. If they tell on someone, they’re called a rat or a snitch. If they don’t tell, someone could die or be injured. Always in the back of their mind, what if they tell on someone… and they’re wrong?

“How do you know you’re not gonna just end up crying ‘wolf’ all the time, every time a kid makes a threat,” says Cliff, a junior.

How should kids evaluate a threat? Experts say first, kids should follow their instincts. If something another student says doesn’t feel right, even just a little bit, it probably isn’t.

“Either afraid, or guilty, or this is just going against my values, it doesn’t feel right,” says psychologist Dr. Wendy Blumenthal.

Then find an adult you trust. Someone you can trust to protect your anonymity. Someone you can trust not to panic when you tell them you’re worried.

Maybe that’s your parents, but it could also be a school counselor, a minister from your church or a coach.

Because if a disaster happens and you stay silent about what you heard, just think how that would make you feel.

“Because if we take everything for granted,” says Crystal, a junior, “this (the school shooting in California) is what can happen.”


Tips for Parents

Police have been able to prevent several ‘Columbine-like’ massacres at US schools recently–thanks to tips from students. Students notified school officials after learning that other students planned to carry out violent acts. And while kids are more willing to report threats of violence after Columbine, experts say parents should explain to their children that there is a difference between ‘telling’ and ‘tattling.’

According to the National Education Association (NEA):

Children ‘tattle’ to get their own way or to get someone else in trouble.
Children should be encouraged to ‘tell’ an adult when someone is in danger of getting hurt.
Some schools have started anonymous hotlines so that parents or children can provide information that could alert authorities to potential problems.

According to the American Psychological Association one in 12 high schoolers is threatened or injured with a weapon each year. To reduce that risk, the APA lists several ‘warning signs’ that kids need to recognize in other students, indications that violence is a “serious possibility”:

Loss of temper on a daily basis
Frequent physical fighting
Significant vandalism or property damage
Increase in use of drugs or alcohol
Increase in risk-taking behavior
Detailed plans to commit acts of violence
Announcing threats or plans for hurting others
Enjoying hurting animals
Carrying a weapon

Once students recognize a warning sign, the APA says there are things they can do. Hoping that someone else will deal with the problem is “the easy way out.” The advice for students:

Above all, be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show warning signs.
Tell someone you trust and respect about your concerns and ask for help (a family member, guidance counselor, teacher, school psychologist, coach, clergy, or friend).
If you are worried about becoming a victim of violence, get someone to protect you. Do not resort to violence or use a weapon to protect yourself.
The key to preventing violent behavior, according to the APA, is asking an experienced professional for help. The important thing to remember is, don’t go it alone.


References
National Education Association
American Psychological Association

Young Anorexics

Source: Connect with Kids

“I think that it definitely had something to do with my mom and my sister talking about different diets, and at that age …you don’t understand everything that they are discussing and the way that they’re discussing it, and in my head I blew it up as something bigger.”

– Shay Fuell, recovering anorexic

About 2.5 million Americans suffer from anorexia. Shay Fuell was only nine years old when the fixation began.

“(I) was starting to have body-image issues and looking in the mirror sideways and just pinching my skin seeing if there was fat there,” she says.

A few years later, she was 5-feet-2 and weighed 78 pounds.

“Literally, it becomes [a part of] every thought … in your head,” she says. “You can’t think about anything else. You can’t concentrate on anything. You can’t even hold a conversation with somebody because you are thinking about the last meal that you ate or what you should be doing to work out or how you’re going to be able to throw up without anybody knowing.”

According to the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, the number of girls under the age of 12 hospitalized for eating disorders has more than doubled since 1999.

“I don’t know if they’re actually developing them younger or if it’s that parents are having a greater awareness of what’s going on with their children,” says Brigette Bellott, Ph.D., a psychologist and eating disorder specialist.

What’s going on, typically, is depression, children obsessed with eating or overly anxious about their weight and their appearance.

“Things to watch,” says Bellott, “what do they believe about their own body? I mean I would ask that: “What do you think about your body, how do you feel about it?”

Experts say it’s crucial for parents to catch the first signs of an eating disorder because the fatality rate for anorexic women is 10 to 15 percent.

“Some of them [die] through malnourishment, some through suicide,” says Mary Weber-Young, L.P.C. “It is the highest mortality rate of any psychiatric illness.”

Shay wasn’t diagnosed until she was 14. It took five difficult years of treatment before she had fully recovered.

“It was an addiction,” she admits. “It was an obsession.”


Tips for Parents

The American Academy of Family Physicians (AAFP) describes an eating disorder as “an obsession with food and weight.” The two main eating disorders are anorexia nervosa (an obsession with being thin) and bulimia (eating a lot of food at once and then throwing up or using laxatives; also known as ‘binging and purging’). Who has eating disorders? According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders:

Eight million or more people in the US have an eating disorder.
Ninety percent are women
Victims may be rich or poor
Eating disorders usually start in the teens
Eighty-six percent of victims report onset by age 20
Eating disorders may begin as early as age 8
Seventy-seven percent report duration of one to 15 years
Six percent of serious cases end in death
It’s not always easy for parents to determine if their daughter or son is suffering from an eating disorder. But the AAFP does list the following warning signs for anorexia and bulimia:

Unnatural concern about body weight (even if the person is not overweight)
Obsession with calories, fat grams and food
Use of any medicines to keep from gaining weight (diet pills, laxatives, water pills)
The more serious warning signs can be more difficult to notice because people with eating disorders often try to hide the symptoms:

Throwing up after meals
Refusing to eat or lying about how much was eaten
Fainting
Over-exercising
Not having periods
Increased anxiety about weight
Calluses or scars on the knuckle (from forced throwing up)
Denying that there is anything wrong
If left untreated, people with eating disorders can suffer some health problems, including disorders of the stomach, heart and kidneys; irregular periods or no periods at all; fine hair all over the body, including the face; dry scaly skin; dental problems (from throwing up stomach acid); dehydration.

Eating disorders can be treated. The first step is getting back to a normal weight, or at least to the lower limits of the normal weight range, according to Dr. Rex Forehand, a psychologist at the Institute for behavioral Research at the University of Georgia. But more needs to be done, Dr. Forehand says. “Attitudes and beliefs about body weight and eating patterns must also be changed. A comprehensive intervention may be necessary.”

Treatment may require hospitalization. The physician may recommend a dietician. For both anorexics and bulimics, family and individual counseling may be helpful.


References
Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality
American Academy of Family Physicians
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders

Inhalant Use

Source: Connect with Kids

“They didn’t want to believe that I had a problem … their little girl, you know?”
– Kelli Crockett, 18 years old

Five years ago, 18-year-old Kelli Crockett was already drinking and smoking pot, but she wanted a different “high.”

“And I remember in middle school, actually a drug awareness program hearing about the inhalants, like the household products, you know, and I was like, ‘I know we’ve got something around the house,’ and I really wanted to get messed up,” Kelli says.

Air freshener, glue, paint thinner, furniture polish, hair spray: The government estimates over 17 percent of adolescents have tried inhalants at least once.

Certified Addiction Counselor Ashley Kilpatrick explains: “It’s accessible, I mean, that’s what the problem with inhalants is that they’re just so easy, they’re under the kitchen sink.”
Inhalants cut off oxygen to the brain, and that makes them extremely dangerous. Huffing just once can kill.

“It just feels toxic … you’re high for five minutes and then you feel sick,” Kilpatrick says.
Kelli adds, “I hated the way it made me feel, but … when I didn’t have anything else to use or drink or smoke, I did it cause it was around.”

Experts say a child who’s high on inhalants may seem drunk or disoriented. Parents should also look for signs around the house, like aerosol cans that are out of pressure or punctured on the bottom. There’s also a hangover effect.

“Headaches afterwards, dehydration, you know, bad moods, all that can last up to 24 hours after a use,” Kilpatrick says.

But experts say parents won’t see the signs if they’re in denial.
Kelli says it took an overdose that nearly killed her for her parents to notice. “They didn’t want to believe that I had a problem … their little girl, you know?” she says.

Tips for Parents

Nail polish remover, paint thinner, canned whipping cream, marking pens: Each of these common household items – and literally hundreds more – can be abused by inhaling. Inhalants are volatile substances that produce chemical vapors that induce a psychoactive, or mind-altering, effect when inhaled. Kids sniff, or “huff,” to get high.

According to the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug information (NCADI), sniffing can cause sickness and death. Victims may become nauseated, forgetful and unable to see things clearly. They may lose control of their bodies, including the use of arms and legs. The effects can last 15 to 45 minutes after inhaling. In addition, sniffing can severely damage the brain, heart, liver and kidneys. Even worse, victims can die suddenly – without any warning. It’s called “Sudden Sniffing Death,” which can occur during or right after sniffing. Even first-time abusers have been known to die from breathing inhalants.

More than 1,000 products are potential inhalants that can kill, including:

Cleaning agents
Computer agents
Correction fluid
Deodorizers
Freon
Gases (whippets, butane, propane)
Gasoline
Glue
Hair spray
Lighter fluid
Markers
Paint products
How can you tell if your child may be abusing inhalants? The NCADI lists the following symptoms to look for in your child:
Unusual breath odor or chemical odor on clothing
Slurred or disoriented speech
Drunk, dazed or dizzy appearance
Signs of paint or other products where they wouldn’t normally be, such as on the face or fingers
Red or runny eyes or nose.
Spots and/or sores around the mouth
Nausea and/or loss of appetite
Appears anxious, excitable, irritable or restlessness (chronic inhalers)
Inhalant abusers also may show the following behaviors:
Sits with a pen or marker near nose
Constantly smells clothing sleeves
Shows paint or stain marks on the face, fingers or clothing
Hides rags, clothes or empty containers of the potentially abused products in closets and other places

If you suspect your child or someone you know is an inhalant abuser, you should consider seeking professional help. Contact a local drug rehabilitation center or other service available in your community.

References
National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information
National Institute on Drug Abuse

Driving While High

Source: Connect with Kids

“Pot is the sneakiest of drugs because it takes out your functioning. It decreases reaction time. It messes up judgment. It messes up driving,”

– Steven Jaffe, MD, psychiatrist

For a young driver, there are so many dangers: speed, ego, inexperience and another often ignored danger: drugs.

“I think it’s very irresponsible and it could lead to a lot of dangerous accidents. It’s just as bad as driving drunk – quite possible even worse,” says 17-year-old Allison Meisburg.

Researchers from the University of Montreal studied the habits of 83 male drivers. They found that nearly 20 percent have been high behind the wheel.

“…and I would estimate at least two or three times that number have been in the car in which the driver was stoned,” says Dr. Steven Jaffe, a psychiatrist, who specializes in substance abuse issues.

“[Driving while high] is not as bad as drinking and driving, but it is still bad of course, because you know your reflexes are delayed and all that jazz,” says 16-year old Justin.

Experts say teens simply don’t realize the dangers.

It’s hard to believe, but some kids believe pot helps them driver better.

“They really think they do,” says Dr. Jaffe. “But they don’t. They really don’t. They don’t realize they are impaired. Pot is the sneakiest of drugs because it takes out your functioning. It decreases reaction time. It messes up their judgment. It messes up driving.”

Dr. Jaffe says parents should adopt a zero-tolerance attitude. Remind your kids that pot is a mind-altering drug and not to ride with drivers who are high on any drug. Then, remind them of the consequences.

“The biggest consequence would be you run into another on-coming car during traffic and you kill them and yourself. That’d be the biggest consequence,” says Reggie, 17.

Dr. Jaffe concurs. “It only takes one time to kill yourself and kill somebody else.”


Tips for Parents

According to government studies, nearly 11 million Americans, including one in five 21-year-olds, have driven while under the influence of illegal drugs. Young adults don’t consider driving while high to be as dangerous as driving while under the influence of alcohol, according to John Walters, director of the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy. Therefore, his office is starting a campaign warning teens about driving while smoking marijuana. Concentration, perception, coordination and reaction time can all be affected for up to 24 hours after smoking marijuana, Walters said.

So how can you determine if your teen has been using drugs, namely marijuana? The experts at the National Institute on Drug Abuse suggest looking for these trouble signs in your teen. He/she may:

Seem dizzy and have trouble walking
Seem silly and giggly for no reason
Have very red, bloodshot eyes
Have a hard time remembering things that just happened
Seem very sleepy or groggy (after the early effects fade, sleepiness may occur)
In addition to these signs, parents should also be alert to changes in any of the following:

Behavior, such as withdrawal, depression, fatigue, carelessness with grooming, hostility and deteriorating relationships with friends and family
Academic performance, including absenteeism and truancy
Loss of interest in sports or other favorite hobbies
Eating or sleeping patterns
Also be on the lookout for:

Signs of drugs and drug paraphernalia
Odor on clothes and in bedroom
Use of incense and other deodorizers
Use of eye drops
Clothing, posters, jewelry, etc., promoting drug use

References
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Parents. The Anti-Drug.
Office of National Drug Control Policy
University of Montreal

Drinking Roommate

Source: Connect with Kids

“It’s about toughening up and getting coping strategies to deal with the temptations and the problems with roommates.”

– John Lochridge, M.D., Psychiatrist

College freshman Max Bluestein has three roommates. Each spends their time very differently. “One doesn’t drink at all, one drinks a little bit and one drinks a lot,” he says.

And the one who drinks a lot is often coaxing him to skip his studies, and go out. “It’s a lot of peer pressure just to go out a lot,” explains Bluestein.

A study of more than 30,000 college freshman finds that 35 percent of students report spending more time drinking (ten hours a week) than they do studying (just eight hours).

And many say the problem is made worse by a roommate who drinks.

“When somebody’s having fun you don’t want to be sitting there reading and what not,” says freshman Parham Savadkoohi.

“Your mind will be focused on drinking,” says Sophomore Nikki Lee.

“And I know I have a paper due or something I might go and hang out for a little while. It is kind of hard,” says freshman Kristen Collier.

Experts say the problem of underage drinking in college needs to be solved long before college. In high school, parents need to allow kids just enough room to make small mistakes, followed by consequences.

“And if they make other mistakes they get consequences, and through the consequences they learn about decision and then when they get off to college, they’ve had experience at both decision making and consequences, and are perhaps better able to handle these things on their own in college,” explains psychiatrist, Dr. John Lochridge.

“I know what my priorities are, I’ll get my work done though… it is hard,” says Collier.

Tips for Parents

Research defines binge drinking as having five or more drinks in a row. Reasons adolescents give for binge drinking include: to get drunk, the status associated with drinking, the culture of drinking on campus, peer pressure and academic stress. Binge drinkers are 21 times more likely to: miss class, fall behind in schoolwork, damage property, injure themselves, engage in unplanned and/or unprotected sex, get in trouble with the police, and drink and drive.

Young people who binge drink could be risking serious damage to their brains now and increasing memory loss later in adulthood. Adolescents may be even more vulnerable to brain damage from excessive drinking than older drinkers. Consider the following:

The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13. The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.

Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.

Seventy-seven percent of young drinkers get their liquor at home, with or without permission.
Students who are binge drinkers in high school are three times more likely to binge drink in college.

Nearly 25 percent of college students report frequent binge drinking, that is, they binged three or more times in a two-week period.

Autopsies show that patients with a history of chronic alcohol abuse have smaller, less massive and more shrunken brains.

Alcohol abstinence can lead to functional and structural recovery of alcohol-damaged brains.
Alcohol is America’s biggest drug problem. Make sure your child understands that alcohol is a drug and that it can kill him/her. Binge drinking is far more pervasive and dangerous than boutique pills and other illicit substances in the news. About 1,400 students will die of alcohol-related causes this year. An additional 500,000 will suffer injuries.

A study by the Harvard School of Public Health showed that 51 percent of male college students and 40 percent of female college students engaged in binge drinking in the previous two weeks. Half of these drinkers binged frequently (more than three times per week). College students who binge drink report:

Interruptions in sleep or study habits (71 percent).
Caring for an intoxicated student (57 percent).
Being insulted or humiliated (36 percent).
An unwanted sexual experience (23 percent).
A serious argument (23 percent).
Damaging property (16 percent).
Being pushed, hit or assaulted (11 percent).
Being the victim of a sexual advance assault or date rape (1 percent).

Students must arrive on college campuses with the ability to resist peer pressure and knowing how to say no to alcohol. For many youngsters away from home for the first time, it is difficult to find the courage to resist peer pressure and the strength to answer peer pressure with resounding no. Parents should foster such ability in their child's early years and nurture it throughout adolescence. Today’s youth needs constant care from parents and community support to make the best decisions for their wellbeing.

References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Harvard School of Public Health
National Youth Violence Prevention Center