By Connect with Kids
“If you grow up listening to that stereotype, that you’re gonna grow up and do drugs, that you’re gonna grow up and have sex, then yeah … you’re gonna believe that.”
– Ryan Hentz, 18
What do teens think other teens are doing on a Friday night?
“If you want to be cool, you have to drink and go out … ,” says Leah Conover, 18.
“Partying, having sex … weed, smoking, stuff like that,” 17-year-old Latricia Smith adds.
Tad Kulanko, 18, agrees: “Drinking or all smoking pot; doing drugs all the time.”
Experts say that idea – that everyone is doing it – can be a powerful, self-fulfilling prophecy.
“Teenagers are often trying to find themselves. They want to fit in [and] they want to be part of the crowd,” says Dr. Sherry Blake, a psychologist.
“If you grow up listening to that stereotype, that you’re gonna grow up and do drugs, that you’re gonna grow up and have sex, then yeah, it’s gonna be implanted in your head and you’re gonna believe that,” says Ryan Hentz, 18.
But the stereotype is a myth, according to a movement called “social norming.” This movement’s message is that what’s “normal” for most teens isn’t getting drunk or high, having sex, getting pregnant or vandalizing property.
“The adolescent will realize that, ‘I have choices, and guess what, everybody is not doing this and I don’t have to be drunk or I don’t have to be high to be cool,’” Dr. Blake says.
“Social norming” has caught on at about 40 college campuses nationwide. But experts say parents can use the same concept with their own children well before college age.
Blake says to let them know that “there are a lot of teenagers doing positive things … the norm is not where we have to go out and party and drink.”
Tips for Parents
‘Social Norming’ Latest Trend to Curb Risk-taking
For years, study after study has focused on the number of teens who take negative health risks like smoking, drinking alcohol and abusing drugs. These widespread statistics lead the public to believe that bad behavior among today’s youth is at an all-time high, yet the opposite seems to be the case. Consider these statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey:
About 56.7% of high school students said they had not consumed an alcoholic beverage within the past 30 days.
An estimated 90.1% had not driven a car while under the influence of alcohol within the past 30 days.
Only 13.4% of students had smoked one cigarette a day for the last 30 days.
Nearly 61.6% have never tried marijuana.
About 87.6% have never sniffed glue, breathed the contents of aerosol spray cans or inhaled any paints to get high.
An estimated 96% have never taken steroids with or without a doctor’s prescription.
Several colleges are now finding that if the general impression is that most kids don’t drink alcohol, then those who do drink will drink less, and fewer will start drinking in the first place.
This philosophy to curb unhealthy habits, called “social norming,” is also catching on in high schools and middle schools across the country. Officials hope that as they promote the general good health of students, more parents and teens will recognize that taking less health risks is now the “norm.”
While you can’t protect your child or teen from taking a bad health risk, you can become a strong and positive influence in his or her life. The National PTA offers these tips for staying involved in your child’s life so that you can minimize the risks he or she takes:
Keep the lines of communication open. You need to have regular conversations with your teen and supply him or her with honest and accurate information on the many issues he or she faces. Start important discussions with your teen – about smoking, drugs, sex or drinking – even if the topics are difficult or embarrassing. Don’t wait for your teen to come to you.
Set fair and consistent rules. You need to set boundaries that help your teen learn that with his or her new independence comes responsibility. You and your child can work together to set appropriate limits. Be sure that your child understands the purpose behind the rules.
Support your child’s future. Even if you don’t feel you can help with homework, you need to demonstrate that education is important to you and your child’s future. It’s important to you’re your child’s teachers and to create a home environment that supports learning.
Be an example. You need to demonstrate appropriate behaviors. Show concern for and be involved in the community and at school. Maintain regularly scheduled family time to share mutual interests, such as attending movies, concerts, sporting events, plays or museum exhibits. Your teen will often “do as you do,” so don’t take negative health risks, such as drinking or smoking.
If your adolescent does cross the boundaries you have set in order to take a negative health risk, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests you keep in mind the following points about discipline:
Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of your child’s age and stage of development.
Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.
Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone were reprimanding you. Don’t resort to name-calling, yelling or disrespect.
Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.
Model positive behavior. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works.
Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.
Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child’s age.
References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National PTA
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
(Sue Scheff) A Cry for Help - Teens Self Cutting
“For some reason, when I’d get depressed, I would just take a razor and I’d cut little slits in my arm. I don’t know why I did it.”
– Melissa, 19
At thirteen, Melissa Gerjoi tried to kill herself.
“I just wanted to do something, something that would just totally stop everything,” Melissa, now 19, recounts.
She later realized she didn’t want to die; she wanted to get rid of the pain.
“For some reason, when I’d get depressed, I would just take a razor and I’d cut little slits in my arm,” she says. “And I don’t know why I did it, and I don’t know why it was any consolation whatsoever.”
It was after her father died in a car crash that Melissa started cutting herself. It was her way of coping.
“Sometimes kids are engaging in this behavior as a way of converting their intense emotional pain into the more tolerable physical pain,” explains Dr. Leslie Apfelbaum, a child psychologist.
According to a study by the Centers for Disease Control, in the year 2005, nearly half a million people were treated in emergency rooms for self-inflicted wounds. More of them were teenagers than any other age group. Experts say most aren’t trying to die, they’re crying out for help.
“We actually call it suicidal gestures,” says Dr. Apfelbaum. “…a way of asking for help without actually doing something too harmful.”
A change in behavior, as well as long sleeves and baggy clothes to hide scars, are clues your child may be hurting themselves. Professional therapy can help unlock the emotional pain.
Family support and time away at boarding school helped Melissa pull her life back together and stop the vicious cycle of self-inflicted pain.
“I sort of stopped my life and went on and started a new one,” she says. “I mean, I totally turned around and changed into a different person.”
Tips for Parents
– Melissa, 19
At thirteen, Melissa Gerjoi tried to kill herself.
“I just wanted to do something, something that would just totally stop everything,” Melissa, now 19, recounts.
She later realized she didn’t want to die; she wanted to get rid of the pain.
“For some reason, when I’d get depressed, I would just take a razor and I’d cut little slits in my arm,” she says. “And I don’t know why I did it, and I don’t know why it was any consolation whatsoever.”
It was after her father died in a car crash that Melissa started cutting herself. It was her way of coping.
“Sometimes kids are engaging in this behavior as a way of converting their intense emotional pain into the more tolerable physical pain,” explains Dr. Leslie Apfelbaum, a child psychologist.
According to a study by the Centers for Disease Control, in the year 2005, nearly half a million people were treated in emergency rooms for self-inflicted wounds. More of them were teenagers than any other age group. Experts say most aren’t trying to die, they’re crying out for help.
“We actually call it suicidal gestures,” says Dr. Apfelbaum. “…a way of asking for help without actually doing something too harmful.”
A change in behavior, as well as long sleeves and baggy clothes to hide scars, are clues your child may be hurting themselves. Professional therapy can help unlock the emotional pain.
Family support and time away at boarding school helped Melissa pull her life back together and stop the vicious cycle of self-inflicted pain.
“I sort of stopped my life and went on and started a new one,” she says. “I mean, I totally turned around and changed into a different person.”
Tips for Parents
Self-Injury May Be Path to Suicide
What exactly constitutes self-injury? According to the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), self-injury is the act of deliberately destroying body tissue – at times to change a way of feeling. Lately it has become a popular among adolescents, and its forms may include the following:
Carving
Scratching
Branding
Marking
Picking and pulling skin and hair
Burning
Cutting
Biting
Head banging
Bruising
Hitting
Excessive tattooing
Excessive body piercing
The AACAP says that teens engage in self-mutilation in order to take risks, to rebel, to reject their parents’ values, to state their individuality or merely to be accepted by their peers. Others, however, may injure themselves out of desperation or anger to seek attention, to show their hopelessness and worthlessness or because they have suicidal thoughts. Some young children may resort to self-injurious acts from time to time but often grow out of it. Children with mental retardation and/or autism may also show these behaviors, which may persist into adulthood. And children who have been abused or abandoned may self-mutilate.
The Self-Harm Alliance cites the following factors that may contribute to a teen’s reasons for self-harming:
Loss of a loved one
Physical abuse, such as domestic violence
Sexual abuse, such as rape or child abuse
Verbal abuse, such as bullying
Childhood neglect from one or both parents
Physical Illness or disability
Loss of freedom
Relationship problems
If your child or adolescent is engaging in self-harm, the AACAP says it is important to talk to your child about respecting and valuing his or her body. You can also help your teen to avoid hurting himself or herself by teaching him or her the following skills:
To accept reality and find ways to make the present moment more tolerable
To identify feelings and talk them out rather than acting on them
To distract himself or herself from feelings of self-harm (counting to 10, waiting 15 minutes, saying “NO!” or “STOP!,” practicing breathing exercises, journaling, drawing, thinking about positive images, using ice and rubber bands, etc.)
To stop, think and evaluate the pros and cons of self-injury
To soothe himself or herself in a positive, non-injurious way
To practice positive stress management
To develop better social skills
You should have your child evaluated by a mental health professional to identify and treat the underlying causes of self-injury. A child and adolescent psychiatrist can also diagnose and treat any serious psychiatric disorders that may accompany your child’s self-injurious behavior.
The most severe cases of self-injury result in suicide. The CDC estimates about 32,000 people commit suicide every year in the United States. It is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-old. The National Association of School Psychologists cites the following signs indicating that your child’s self-injurious behavior may be escalating to suicide:
Suicide notes: These notes are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.
Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die” or “I am going to kill myself”) or, unfortunately, indirect comments (“The world would be better without me” and “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.
“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse.
Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms, such as giving away prized possessions like jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.
Continued efforts to hurt oneself: Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic, jumping from heights and scratching, cutting or marking the body.
Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include an inability to sleep or sleeping all of the time, sudden weight gain or loss and disinterest in appearance or hygiene.
If one or more of these signs occurs, talk to your child about your concerns and seek professional help when the concerns persist. With support from family and professional treatment, your child can heal and return to a more healthy path of development.
As a parent, you can help prevent teen suicide in the following ways, according to PROMINA Health System:
Know the warning signs and when to get a professional assessment.
Learn who your child is, how he or she feels and what he or she thinks by being more involved in his or her life.
Improve and enhance adult supervision and socialization and monitor the feelings, thoughts and behaviors of your child.
Emphasize honest communication and sharing.
Emphasize honest cooperation with authority and systems, such as school, church, work or rules at home.
References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National Association of School Psychologists
PROMINA Health System
Self-Harm Alliance
Thursday, May 22, 2008
(Sue Scheff) Teens Career Angst
“I want to be at the top of the pile, and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”
– Michael, 14
There’s growing evidence that kids today are more worried about their future than previous generations. And that anxiety is occurring in younger and younger children. How can this type of anxiety impact your child?
Whether they’re involved in sports, clubs or academics, kids today are quickly learning that competition is a part of life.
“I think there is more competition these days to go to the best college, to make the best SAT scores, and it’s like everybody is trying to be the best,” 14-year-old Connie says.
Even at the tender ages of 12, 13 and 14, adolescents begin to worry about the future – “Where will I go to college?” “What kind of career will I choose?” “How much money will I make?” It’s a new kind of teenage angst.
Thirteen-year-old Trey feels the pressure every day.
“I set my standards very high and when I don’t achieve my goal, I feel very bad,” he says.
Michael, 14, pushes himself, too.
“You want to be better than everybody else. I know I do. I want to be at the top of the pile and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”
The National Association of School Psychologists estimates that career-related anxieties among teens have increased about 20% in the past decade. Experts say striving for success is great, but they also warn that if it becomes an obsession, it can be unhealthy for kids.
“They become anxious [and] jittery. They become worriers,” says Dr. John Lochridge, a psychiatrist. “They turn to drugs or alcohol as external ways to calm themselves down.“
Experts say that parents need to help kids put success into perspective and teach them how to pace themselves.
“[It’s important to] emphasize the moment as opposed to where we are going to be in five years, where we’re going to be in 10 years or what are we achieving,” says Dr. Alexandra Phipps, a psychologist.
But more than anything, parents need to help their children recognize the importance of “just being a kid.”
Says Connie: “Sometimes, I feel like I have so much stress on me. And I feel like at this age, I should be enjoying myself, but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enjoying life as I should be.”
Tips for Parents
– Michael, 14
There’s growing evidence that kids today are more worried about their future than previous generations. And that anxiety is occurring in younger and younger children. How can this type of anxiety impact your child?
Whether they’re involved in sports, clubs or academics, kids today are quickly learning that competition is a part of life.
“I think there is more competition these days to go to the best college, to make the best SAT scores, and it’s like everybody is trying to be the best,” 14-year-old Connie says.
Even at the tender ages of 12, 13 and 14, adolescents begin to worry about the future – “Where will I go to college?” “What kind of career will I choose?” “How much money will I make?” It’s a new kind of teenage angst.
Thirteen-year-old Trey feels the pressure every day.
“I set my standards very high and when I don’t achieve my goal, I feel very bad,” he says.
Michael, 14, pushes himself, too.
“You want to be better than everybody else. I know I do. I want to be at the top of the pile and if I’m not there, I feel like I gotta do a lot of things to get there.”
The National Association of School Psychologists estimates that career-related anxieties among teens have increased about 20% in the past decade. Experts say striving for success is great, but they also warn that if it becomes an obsession, it can be unhealthy for kids.
“They become anxious [and] jittery. They become worriers,” says Dr. John Lochridge, a psychiatrist. “They turn to drugs or alcohol as external ways to calm themselves down.“
Experts say that parents need to help kids put success into perspective and teach them how to pace themselves.
“[It’s important to] emphasize the moment as opposed to where we are going to be in five years, where we’re going to be in 10 years or what are we achieving,” says Dr. Alexandra Phipps, a psychologist.
But more than anything, parents need to help their children recognize the importance of “just being a kid.”
Says Connie: “Sometimes, I feel like I have so much stress on me. And I feel like at this age, I should be enjoying myself, but sometimes I don’t feel like I’m enjoying life as I should be.”
Tips for Parents
This trend of children’s early anxiety over financial well-being is further evidenced by a 2007 Charles Schwab “Teens & Money” survey. The survey of 1,000 U.S. teens in aged 13-18 revealed the following statistics:
Despite their optimistic longer-term earnings expectations, 62% say they’re concerned about being able to support themselves after high school.
49% say they’re concerned their parents/guardians will not be able to support them financially if they attend college.
One in four (25%) say they sometimes feel guilty for being a financial burden to their parents (among teens 16-18, 31% say this).
More than half (56%) are concerned about their parents’/guardians’ financial well-being.
Is it harmful for children and adolescents to be worried about competition and financial success at such an early age? Competition is generally good for children, according to the National Network for Child Care. Whether children are competing for a spot on the volleyball team or a chance to win an academic scholarship, the experience helps them gain insights about their physical and intellectual skills and limitations. Competitions also enable children to learn teamwork, identify personal goals, develop criteria for success and motivate them to increase their efforts to attain the goals they desire. But if your child begins to develop a “winning-is-everything” attitude, parental intervention may be necessary.
If your adolescent seems preoccupied by future financial insecurity, you can take several steps to ease their angst. The experts at Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism suggest you start by using these tips to guide your child when dealing with the issue of careers:
Encourage your child to explore his or her options. Be supportive by asking your child, “Can I help you get connected?” or “Can I help you with researching a career?”
You need to remember this is not your career decision. Have trust in your child and be supportive, yet informative.
The world of work has changed since many parents made their first career choice. So some parents need to realize some of their information might be outdated.
Direct your child to resources where he or she can research his or her desired career.
If your child comes to you with career and financial concerns, the best action you can take is to listen, according to the National PTA. Engaging in open communication with your child and sharing your own experiences and frustrations will help to ease your child’s anxiety. If your adolescent appears highly stressed about the future, you need to take the necessary steps to reduce that amount of stress before it can damage your child’s physical health. The American Academy of Family Physicians cites these signs and symptoms that indicate your child may be experiencing too much stress and anxiety:
Feeling depressed, edgy, guilty or tired
Having headaches, stomachaches or trouble sleeping
Laughing or crying for no reason
Blaming other people for bad things that happen
Only seeing the down side of a situation
Resenting other people or personal responsibilities
The National PTA says that you can help your adolescent learn to keep his or her anxiety at a minimal level by teaching him or her the following skills:
Limit or expand the number of your activities and responsibilities based on your capabilities. Preteens and teens should have challenges without becoming overwhelmed.
Avoid unnecessary worry. Thinking about a problem in order to arrive at a solution can be positive, but constant and unconstructive worry doesn’t accomplish anything. It usually just makes situations more stressful.
Become better organized. Plan activities and goals a step at a time so that parts are accomplished. This gives you more self-esteem and more reasonable deadlines.
Practice ways to reduce stress, such as aerobic exercise, proper nutrition, yoga, meditation, deep breathing, relaxation exercises, sleep, massage, taking a whirlpool or sauna bath and by having FUN.
References
American Academy of Family Physicians
National Association of School Psychologists
National Network for Child Care
National PTA
Northwestern University
Sunday, May 18, 2008
ADHD and Heart Problems by Connect with Kids
“The concern is that there is the possibility of sudden cardiac death, although it’s not well-established whether it’s related to the medication or not. But certainly those children who have a history of structural cardiac abnormalities should not be taking this medication.”
– Dr. Richard Winer, M.D., psychiatrist
Approximately 2.5 million American children are on stimulant medication for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD) -- medication that, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), could potentially trigger heart problems. That’s why the American Heart Association has a new recommendation.
Devon, 17, takes the prescription medicine Adderall because she has ADHD -- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
Devon also has a defective valve in her heart.
“I don’t know if my heart condition is going to change or get more serious,” says Devon.
Her mother has the same fear.
“I’ve lived with this all the time, wondering secretly what this medicine was really doing to my child,” says Colleen Baird, Devon’s mother.
Is there a link between ADHD medications and heart problems?
Recent studies show that children on stimulant medication are 20 percent more likely to visit the ER for heart-related problems than kids not on these medications. That’s why the American Heart Association is recommending that every child have an EKG (electrocardiogram) prior to taking stimulants.
“The concern is that there is the possibility of sudden cardiac death, although it’s not well-established whether it’s related to the medication or not. But certainly those children who have a history of structural cardiac abnormalities should not be taking this medication,” says Dr. Richard Winer, M.D., psychiatrist.
Experts agree that any child on medication should be closely monitored by a physician. Experts also say that not all ADHD kids should be taking medication and that there are other treatments. According to Winer, however, medication increases the odds of success.
“There’s always the possibility that a child might be able to function at a decent level using non-pharmacological approaches … but the odds are certainly much greater in favor of a child who actually does utilize medication as long as they’re physically able to do so,” says Winer.
Devon’s mom says it’s a painful dilemma: the medicine helps Devon’s functionality and grades in school, but it may also be damaging her heart.
On the other hand, says her mother, “If she wasn’t on her medication, I’d also live with the other fears, the impulsivity – driving in a car, getting in an accident … doing something that is just as dangerous for her.”
Tips for Parents
– Dr. Richard Winer, M.D., psychiatrist
Approximately 2.5 million American children are on stimulant medication for Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD) -- medication that, according to the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), could potentially trigger heart problems. That’s why the American Heart Association has a new recommendation.
Devon, 17, takes the prescription medicine Adderall because she has ADHD -- Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
Devon also has a defective valve in her heart.
“I don’t know if my heart condition is going to change or get more serious,” says Devon.
Her mother has the same fear.
“I’ve lived with this all the time, wondering secretly what this medicine was really doing to my child,” says Colleen Baird, Devon’s mother.
Is there a link between ADHD medications and heart problems?
Recent studies show that children on stimulant medication are 20 percent more likely to visit the ER for heart-related problems than kids not on these medications. That’s why the American Heart Association is recommending that every child have an EKG (electrocardiogram) prior to taking stimulants.
“The concern is that there is the possibility of sudden cardiac death, although it’s not well-established whether it’s related to the medication or not. But certainly those children who have a history of structural cardiac abnormalities should not be taking this medication,” says Dr. Richard Winer, M.D., psychiatrist.
Experts agree that any child on medication should be closely monitored by a physician. Experts also say that not all ADHD kids should be taking medication and that there are other treatments. According to Winer, however, medication increases the odds of success.
“There’s always the possibility that a child might be able to function at a decent level using non-pharmacological approaches … but the odds are certainly much greater in favor of a child who actually does utilize medication as long as they’re physically able to do so,” says Winer.
Devon’s mom says it’s a painful dilemma: the medicine helps Devon’s functionality and grades in school, but it may also be damaging her heart.
On the other hand, says her mother, “If she wasn’t on her medication, I’d also live with the other fears, the impulsivity – driving in a car, getting in an accident … doing something that is just as dangerous for her.”
Tips for Parents
Although medication is not the only way to treat Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) says research clearly demonstrates that it can be helpful. Stimulant medication can “improve attention, focus, goal directed behavior and organizational skills.”
Other treatment may include cognitive-behavioral therapy, social skills training, parent education and modifications to the child’s educational program. The AACAP says a child who is diagnosed with ADHD and treated appropriately “can have a productive and successful life.”
ADHD occurs in an estimated 3-5 percent of school-age children, beginning before age 7 and sometimes continuing into adulthood. ADHD runs in families with about 25 percent of biological parents also having the disorder. According to the AACAP, a child with ADHD often shows some of the following symptoms:
Trouble paying attention
Inattention to details and makes careless mistakes
Easily distracted
Loses school supplies, forgets to turn in homework
Trouble finishing class work and homework
Trouble listening
Trouble following multiple adult commands
Blurts out answers
Impatience
Fidgets or squirms
Leaves seat and runs about or climbs excessively
Seems "on the go"
Talks too much and has difficulty playing quietly
Interrupts or intrudes on others
The FDA recommends that parents ask the following questions before selecting medication as the best treatment for their child's ADHD:
Will this drug cause a problem with other drugs my child is taking?
Will t his drug affect any other conditions my child has?
How often does my child need to take this medicine?
How many days or weeks does my child need to take this medicine?
What if I miss giving my child a dose of the medication?
How soon will the drug start working?
What side effects does the medicine have?
What should I do if my child begins experiencing any of these side effects?
Should I stop giving my child the medication when my child's behavior starts to improve?
Easily distracted
Loses school supplies, forgets to turn in homework
Trouble finishing class work and homework
Trouble listening
Trouble following multiple adult commands
Blurts out answers
Impatience
Fidgets or squirms
Leaves seat and runs about or climbs excessively
Seems "on the go"
Talks too much and has difficulty playing quietly
Interrupts or intrudes on others
The FDA recommends that parents ask the following questions before selecting medication as the best treatment for their child's ADHD:
Will this drug cause a problem with other drugs my child is taking?
Will t his drug affect any other conditions my child has?
How often does my child need to take this medicine?
How many days or weeks does my child need to take this medicine?
What if I miss giving my child a dose of the medication?
How soon will the drug start working?
What side effects does the medicine have?
What should I do if my child begins experiencing any of these side effects?
Should I stop giving my child the medication when my child's behavior starts to improve?
References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
National Parent Information Network
Friday, May 16, 2008
Sue Scheff: Raising Kids Today can be a Challenge
Connect with Kids is a comprehensive website that offers parenting articles, helpful tips for parents, parent forums and more. They also offer Parenting DVD's on a variety of subjects that affect our kids today. Whether it is Troubled Teens or how to raise successful kids - there is probably a DVD that can help you better understand the issues surrounding our kids today.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Sue Scheff: Teen Drug: Salvia
By Connect with Kids
Partnership for a Drug-Free America and the Media Awareness Program offer these tips to help keep kids from using drugs:
It sounds simple, but one of the best ways to keep your kids drug-free is to show them you care. Simple gestures like an unexpected hug or saying ‘I love you" everyday can help kids gain the confidence to say no to drugs.
Look for teachable moments. Talk about a recent drug or alcohol-related incident in your family or community.
Explain the principles of "why" and not just "what" to do or not do.
Teach real-world coping skills: drug prevention can start by building a teen's confidence for a job interview or teaching a child how to rebuff a schoolmate who wants to copy homework.
Parents remain one of the strongest moral influences on kids, and they need to send a clear anti-drug message. Studies show that parental ambivalence increases a child's risk for drug use.
Focus on one drug at a time: there's strong evidence that media attention to harmful effects of specific drugs has made a difference.
For instance, a 1995 ad campaign about abuse of inhalants, such as paint thinners and glues, precipitated a drastic drop in use.
In 1986, cocaine use fell after extensive news reports on the death of Len Bias, a college-basketball star who died after using cocaine.
(Currently, Heath Ledger’s death has prompted drug rehabilitation for other celebrities as well as the general population.)
These examples illustrate the life cycle of a drug. Word of a drug's “benefits” spreads rapidly, but there is a lag time before kids learn about the dangers. Once the risks become apparent, occasional users drop the drug and potential new users don't try it. Parents and educators can make a difference if they pay attention to the life cycle of a newly popular drug and work to quickly spread the word about harmful effects.
Don't lecture: the use of lecturing is often cited as the single biggest flaw in the best-known and most popular anti-drug programs. Get kids more involved in the lesson, such as asking them to discuss how they'd react at a party where kids were drinking.
Repeat the message: the most successful anti-drug classes are those that are presented over the course of a child's school career.
References
Partnership for a Drug-Free America
Media Awareness Program
“They feel very out of control; it’s very scary. They will literally have blackouts, and what we are seeing is a lot of people having accidents because they lose their coordination. They aren’t able to think clearly, so we are seeing people fall, stumble, hurt themselves, and have driving accidents.”
– Heather Hayes, LPC, drug counselor
Today, more teenagers are smoking a powerful hallucinogenic herb that is native to Mexico. It is a potent drug, the effects are almost instantaneous, and because it is legal in most states, it has caught the attention of lawmakers around the country.
Henri and Thomas say they have a friend who’s tried it. It’s called Salvia.
“He smoked it, and then went to scratch his head … and can’t remember anything after that,” says Henri Hollis, 18.
Add Thomas Steed, 18, “His friend said he was just going like this [flailing his arms] for like 20 minutes straight.”
In most states, salvia is legal. However, the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) has salvia on its list of “Drugs and Chemicals of Concern.” On the streets and in head shops, salvia is also referred to as “magic mint,” “sally-d” and “diviner’s sage.”
“My friend just brought some over one day, and I was like, ‘Alright!’ says Nick Nehf, 18. “I mean, I’d never heard of it before, but he said he had bought it down the street at the head shop and I was like, ‘Alright, whatever.’”
“Salvia divinorum is a perennial herb that grows wild in Mexico. It’s a hallucinogenic. It’s what back in the 60s we used to call a psychedelic,” says Heather Hayes, licensed professional counselor (LPC) and drug counselor.
Experts say that salvia affects the brain nearly 10 times faster than cocaine, and targets the parts of the brain responsible for motor function.
“They feel very out of control; it’s very scary. They will literally have blackouts, and what we are seeing is a lot of people having accidents because they lose their coordination. They aren’t able to think clearly, so we are seeing people fall, stumble, hurt themselves, and have driving accidents,” says Hayes.
Many states are now considering legislation to ban salvia.
In the meantime, experts say, explain to your kids that just because something is temporarily legal doesn’t mean it is safe.
“Initially, when the drug Ecstasy was developed it was not illegal, but shortly after it was,” says Hayes. “And now we know that Ecstasy is extremely damaging to the brain -- we have people who die after one use. So that would be the analogy I’d give.”
“Anybody who I’ve talked to who has done it says they are never going to try it again because it was too much for them,” says Steed.
Tips for Parents
– Heather Hayes, LPC, drug counselor
Today, more teenagers are smoking a powerful hallucinogenic herb that is native to Mexico. It is a potent drug, the effects are almost instantaneous, and because it is legal in most states, it has caught the attention of lawmakers around the country.
Henri and Thomas say they have a friend who’s tried it. It’s called Salvia.
“He smoked it, and then went to scratch his head … and can’t remember anything after that,” says Henri Hollis, 18.
Add Thomas Steed, 18, “His friend said he was just going like this [flailing his arms] for like 20 minutes straight.”
In most states, salvia is legal. However, the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) has salvia on its list of “Drugs and Chemicals of Concern.” On the streets and in head shops, salvia is also referred to as “magic mint,” “sally-d” and “diviner’s sage.”
“My friend just brought some over one day, and I was like, ‘Alright!’ says Nick Nehf, 18. “I mean, I’d never heard of it before, but he said he had bought it down the street at the head shop and I was like, ‘Alright, whatever.’”
“Salvia divinorum is a perennial herb that grows wild in Mexico. It’s a hallucinogenic. It’s what back in the 60s we used to call a psychedelic,” says Heather Hayes, licensed professional counselor (LPC) and drug counselor.
Experts say that salvia affects the brain nearly 10 times faster than cocaine, and targets the parts of the brain responsible for motor function.
“They feel very out of control; it’s very scary. They will literally have blackouts, and what we are seeing is a lot of people having accidents because they lose their coordination. They aren’t able to think clearly, so we are seeing people fall, stumble, hurt themselves, and have driving accidents,” says Hayes.
Many states are now considering legislation to ban salvia.
In the meantime, experts say, explain to your kids that just because something is temporarily legal doesn’t mean it is safe.
“Initially, when the drug Ecstasy was developed it was not illegal, but shortly after it was,” says Hayes. “And now we know that Ecstasy is extremely damaging to the brain -- we have people who die after one use. So that would be the analogy I’d give.”
“Anybody who I’ve talked to who has done it says they are never going to try it again because it was too much for them,” says Steed.
Tips for Parents
It sounds simple, but one of the best ways to keep your kids drug-free is to show them you care. Simple gestures like an unexpected hug or saying ‘I love you" everyday can help kids gain the confidence to say no to drugs.
Look for teachable moments. Talk about a recent drug or alcohol-related incident in your family or community.
Explain the principles of "why" and not just "what" to do or not do.
Teach real-world coping skills: drug prevention can start by building a teen's confidence for a job interview or teaching a child how to rebuff a schoolmate who wants to copy homework.
Parents remain one of the strongest moral influences on kids, and they need to send a clear anti-drug message. Studies show that parental ambivalence increases a child's risk for drug use.
Focus on one drug at a time: there's strong evidence that media attention to harmful effects of specific drugs has made a difference.
For instance, a 1995 ad campaign about abuse of inhalants, such as paint thinners and glues, precipitated a drastic drop in use.
In 1986, cocaine use fell after extensive news reports on the death of Len Bias, a college-basketball star who died after using cocaine.
(Currently, Heath Ledger’s death has prompted drug rehabilitation for other celebrities as well as the general population.)
These examples illustrate the life cycle of a drug. Word of a drug's “benefits” spreads rapidly, but there is a lag time before kids learn about the dangers. Once the risks become apparent, occasional users drop the drug and potential new users don't try it. Parents and educators can make a difference if they pay attention to the life cycle of a newly popular drug and work to quickly spread the word about harmful effects.
Don't lecture: the use of lecturing is often cited as the single biggest flaw in the best-known and most popular anti-drug programs. Get kids more involved in the lesson, such as asking them to discuss how they'd react at a party where kids were drinking.
Repeat the message: the most successful anti-drug classes are those that are presented over the course of a child's school career.
References
Partnership for a Drug-Free America
Media Awareness Program
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Sue Scheff: Texting While Driving
By Connect with Kids
“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it.”
– Richard Tatum, 18
Three seconds. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, that’s all the time it takes for a driver to take their eyes off the road and get into a car accident. And now, with more kids than ever texting on their cell phones while they’re driving… how many more crashes will there be? How many more kids will get hurt?
Richard Tatum was sending his girlfriend a text message, just like he does throughout the day. The problem was, this time he was driving while he was texting.
He crossed the median and collided head-on with a cement truck.
“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it,” says Richard, 18.
Richard’s car was totaled: he barely survived.
“It crushed my pelvis and hip and my knee. I tore two ligaments and chipped a piece of my knee cap off.”
According to a recent AAA Auto Club survey, 46 percent of teens admit to text messaging while driving. That’s up from 13 percent just two years ago.
“You just look down to text, look up to drive, look down to text. It’s not hard to do so everybody does it,” says Richard.
Two states, Washington and New Jersey, have made driving while texting illegal. Sixteen more are trying to pass similar legislation.
And it’s not just texting that’s dangerous; simply talking on the phone while driving greatly impairs your ability. Research from the University of Utah shows that driving while talking on the cell phone is equivalent to a .08 blood alcohol level. In most states, if your blood alcohol level is greater than .08 you are considered intoxicated.
Experts say that parents should make it clear: teens can use their cell phone or the car, but not both at the same time.
“With teens, you have to send the message that you cannot do this while you are driving, and if I find out you are doing it, then you are not going to be driving,” says Ted Waldbart, general manager, Safe America Foundation.
As for Richard, he’s now walking and even driving again, but he will never be the same.
“He now has the hip of a 47-year-old because of the cartilage damage and everything. And he is going to have arthritis, and he’s just not going to be able to do the things that he could do before,” says Richard’s mother, Linda Tatum.
“I don’t text when I drive anymore; it’s not worth breaking my good hip,” Richard says with a laugh.
Tips for Parents
– Richard Tatum, 18
Three seconds. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, that’s all the time it takes for a driver to take their eyes off the road and get into a car accident. And now, with more kids than ever texting on their cell phones while they’re driving… how many more crashes will there be? How many more kids will get hurt?
Richard Tatum was sending his girlfriend a text message, just like he does throughout the day. The problem was, this time he was driving while he was texting.
He crossed the median and collided head-on with a cement truck.
“I don’t even remember hitting the truck because I was looking down at my phone when I hit it,” says Richard, 18.
Richard’s car was totaled: he barely survived.
“It crushed my pelvis and hip and my knee. I tore two ligaments and chipped a piece of my knee cap off.”
According to a recent AAA Auto Club survey, 46 percent of teens admit to text messaging while driving. That’s up from 13 percent just two years ago.
“You just look down to text, look up to drive, look down to text. It’s not hard to do so everybody does it,” says Richard.
Two states, Washington and New Jersey, have made driving while texting illegal. Sixteen more are trying to pass similar legislation.
And it’s not just texting that’s dangerous; simply talking on the phone while driving greatly impairs your ability. Research from the University of Utah shows that driving while talking on the cell phone is equivalent to a .08 blood alcohol level. In most states, if your blood alcohol level is greater than .08 you are considered intoxicated.
Experts say that parents should make it clear: teens can use their cell phone or the car, but not both at the same time.
“With teens, you have to send the message that you cannot do this while you are driving, and if I find out you are doing it, then you are not going to be driving,” says Ted Waldbart, general manager, Safe America Foundation.
As for Richard, he’s now walking and even driving again, but he will never be the same.
“He now has the hip of a 47-year-old because of the cartilage damage and everything. And he is going to have arthritis, and he’s just not going to be able to do the things that he could do before,” says Richard’s mother, Linda Tatum.
“I don’t text when I drive anymore; it’s not worth breaking my good hip,” Richard says with a laugh.
Tips for Parents
Know and enforce your state’s Graduated Driver License laws and restrictions, including unsupervised driving, time of day and passengers in the car.
Sign a teen driving contract (many are available online, including SADD’s Contract for Life.
Set family driving rules with clear consequences for breaking the rules. SADD recommends rules such as:
No alcohol or drug use
No cell phone use, including text messaging
Limit distractions — eating, changing CDs, handling iPods or other activities while driving
Limit or restrict friends in the car without an adult
Be a role model. Your teen will follow your driving example, so be sure you are keeping your own rules.
If you receive an important call or must make a call, pull off the road. Do not drive while calling or texting.
Let your voicemail take the call. You can call back later when you are not driving.
Know when to stop talking. If the conversation is long, emotional or stressful continue it when you are not driving.
Do not take notes while driving. If you don’t want to forget a note, use a take recorder or pull off the road.
Do not eat or drink while driving.
Groom yourself at home, not in the vehicle.
References
Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) & Liberty Mutual Insurance Group Chicago Arts Partnerships in Education (CAPE)
Safe America Foundation
Road and Travel
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Screen Kids
New research shows that each week our children spend five hours online, six hours on the phone, eight hours playing video games, 12 hours listening to music, and 30 hours watching TV or movies. The American Medical Association reports that five million kids are addicted to videogames.
This program explores the dangers in the technology that has overtaken our kids’ lives. The profiles include four siblings constantly fighting over use of the family computer, a teenager whose addiction to online pornography started when he was 12 years old, and another teen who got hooked on Internet gambling and is now paying off $18,000 in credit card debt.
The program also examines choices parents can make about how to protect their children from these hazards; the research is clear that one parenting style is far more effective than several others.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Sue Scheff: Warning: Smoking Harms Your Brain
By Connect with Kids http://www.connectwithkids.com/
“I started smoking cigarettes when I was 10, I started smoking weed and drinking when I was 13, I started doing crystal [methamphetamine] when I was 14, I started doing cocaine when I was 15.”
– Renee, 15
Some teenagers think the only danger in smoking cigarettes is lung cancer. But new research shows that smoking may cause irreversible damage to the brain.
I tried it because I thought it was cool,” says Renee, 15.
Renee started smoking cigarettes in the 4th grade.
“I started smoking cigarettes when I was 10, I started smoking weed and drinking when I was 13, I started doing crystal [methamphetamine] when I was 14, I started doing cocaine when I was 15.”
According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teens who start smoking at a young age are three times more likely to binge drink, 13 times more likely to smoke marijuana, and seven times more likely to use cocaine or heroin.
Recent studies may shed light on this type of behavior. In experiments with rats, results show that nicotine exposure changes brain receptors -- increasing the desire for other addictive drugs.
“Our experiment would suggest that just one exposure to nicotine, the active component of tobacco, can produce a long-term change in the behavior of the animal that probably results in a change in the brain,” says Frances Leslie, Ph.D., professor of pharmacology.
“It’s hard at the moment to know how that translates into human behavior, but I think that it’s unquestionable that there will be changes in behavior as a result of early smoking,” says Leslie. “And it’s quite logical to believe that one of those changes in behavior might be increased drug use … drugs like cocaine and amphetamines and heroin.”
Now in rehab, Renee takes her addiction one day at a time.
“Because recovery is your whole life if you’re an addict, you have to do it until the day you die,” says Renee.
Tips for Parents
– Renee, 15
Some teenagers think the only danger in smoking cigarettes is lung cancer. But new research shows that smoking may cause irreversible damage to the brain.
I tried it because I thought it was cool,” says Renee, 15.
Renee started smoking cigarettes in the 4th grade.
“I started smoking cigarettes when I was 10, I started smoking weed and drinking when I was 13, I started doing crystal [methamphetamine] when I was 14, I started doing cocaine when I was 15.”
According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teens who start smoking at a young age are three times more likely to binge drink, 13 times more likely to smoke marijuana, and seven times more likely to use cocaine or heroin.
Recent studies may shed light on this type of behavior. In experiments with rats, results show that nicotine exposure changes brain receptors -- increasing the desire for other addictive drugs.
“Our experiment would suggest that just one exposure to nicotine, the active component of tobacco, can produce a long-term change in the behavior of the animal that probably results in a change in the brain,” says Frances Leslie, Ph.D., professor of pharmacology.
“It’s hard at the moment to know how that translates into human behavior, but I think that it’s unquestionable that there will be changes in behavior as a result of early smoking,” says Leslie. “And it’s quite logical to believe that one of those changes in behavior might be increased drug use … drugs like cocaine and amphetamines and heroin.”
Now in rehab, Renee takes her addiction one day at a time.
“Because recovery is your whole life if you’re an addict, you have to do it until the day you die,” says Renee.
Tips for Parents
Cigarettes are stimulants. Within seven seconds of inhaling on a cigarette, the nicotine reaches your brain, stimulating the nervous system, increasing heart rate, raising blood pressure and constricting small blood vessels under the skin.
Nicotine in cigarettes is as addictive as cocaine and heroin. It is difficult to quit once you are addicted.
Ninety-eight percent of smokers start before the age of 17.
The majority of “experimenters” go on to a lifetime of smoking.
Teens most commonly report that they start to smoke because "it's cool" (60%) or because of the behavior of friends (57%).
Almost twice as many females (15%) than males (8%) stated "weight control" as a perceived reason that youth start to smoke.
Kids often use smoking to:
Manage their moods – to calm nerves and ease stress, sort out their thoughts, relieve boredom, gear up for a social event, or to "zone out" from their troubles.
Look and feel older – if friends smoke, they may feel left behind on a journey that looks grown-up and adventurous. Media contributes to this idea.
Fit in and find friends - Cigarettes can be borrowed and traded and used to build friendships. Kids may also go along with smoking because they don’t want to lose their friends.
Studies show that parents, even those who smoke, can and do have an impact on whether their children smoke.
Talk about your own experiences with smoking or not smoking, and what smoking means to you.
Talk about family members with smoking-related illnesses.
Ask your kids what smoking means to them. Listen. Be patient.
Provide hard facts that may make them think twice about smoking.
References
National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse
Chronic Disease & Injury Prevention Team at the Middlesex-London Health Unit
Top ˆ
Friday, May 9, 2008
Sue Scheff: Why Kids Lie by Connect with Kids
“When parents lie about their kids being a certain age so they get a cheaper price for the movies – that is a small, simple thing, but there are a lot of little examples like that, where kids see that adults fudge.”
– Dr. Tim Jordan, M.D., pediatrician
A survey by Penn State finds that 98 percent of teens say that lying is morally wrong. But in the very same survey, 98 percent say they’ve lied to their parents. Why do the same kids, who know lying is wrong, do it anyway?
“When I lie, I usually mainly lie to get out of something,” says Eric, 13.
“It’s like human nature. You can’t really stop yourself from lying sometimes,” says Annie, 12.
“I think in some cases, it’s okay. Like, I think if you don’t want to tell your parents, then that’s really none of their business,” says Caroline, 17.
Researchers at Penn State surveyed teens about lying on 36 different topics. Teens responded that they lied to their parents about 12 of these topics, including how they spent their money, what movie they went to, what they did after school, and whether they rode in cars with a drunk driver.
“I think in some ways they’re saying, ‘I need to have some secrets, I need to have some of my own private life, it’s important,’” says Dr. Tim Jordan, M.D., pediatrician.
Experts say that kids learn about lying from each other, and from adults.
“Like when parents lie about their kids being a certain age so they get a cheaper price for the movies, that is a small, simple thing, but there are a lot of little examples like that, where kids see that adults fudge,” says Jordan.
But if parents will repeat the right message over and over, says Jordan, eventually kids will learn about lying and right and wrong. In time, they’ll no longer hear just their parents’ voices, they’ll hear their own.
“I want kids to be able to think through things internally, because when they’re out in the world, that’s when they do most of their mischief,” says Jordan. “They have to have their own internal justice system established and I think that comes from inside the home, having a series of conversations over many, many years about right and wrong.”
Tips for Parents
– Dr. Tim Jordan, M.D., pediatrician
A survey by Penn State finds that 98 percent of teens say that lying is morally wrong. But in the very same survey, 98 percent say they’ve lied to their parents. Why do the same kids, who know lying is wrong, do it anyway?
“When I lie, I usually mainly lie to get out of something,” says Eric, 13.
“It’s like human nature. You can’t really stop yourself from lying sometimes,” says Annie, 12.
“I think in some cases, it’s okay. Like, I think if you don’t want to tell your parents, then that’s really none of their business,” says Caroline, 17.
Researchers at Penn State surveyed teens about lying on 36 different topics. Teens responded that they lied to their parents about 12 of these topics, including how they spent their money, what movie they went to, what they did after school, and whether they rode in cars with a drunk driver.
“I think in some ways they’re saying, ‘I need to have some secrets, I need to have some of my own private life, it’s important,’” says Dr. Tim Jordan, M.D., pediatrician.
Experts say that kids learn about lying from each other, and from adults.
“Like when parents lie about their kids being a certain age so they get a cheaper price for the movies, that is a small, simple thing, but there are a lot of little examples like that, where kids see that adults fudge,” says Jordan.
But if parents will repeat the right message over and over, says Jordan, eventually kids will learn about lying and right and wrong. In time, they’ll no longer hear just their parents’ voices, they’ll hear their own.
“I want kids to be able to think through things internally, because when they’re out in the world, that’s when they do most of their mischief,” says Jordan. “They have to have their own internal justice system established and I think that comes from inside the home, having a series of conversations over many, many years about right and wrong.”
Tips for Parents
All children lie once in a while – it’s part of growing up. Toddlers lie as a way to create their own fantasy world (i.e. “I have an imaginary friend.”); adolescents lie to re-invent themselves or to get out of trouble. Experts offer the following tips to help you talk to your children about honesty:
Set clear expectations and strive to meet them yourself.
Explain to the child that he will be respected more if he tells the truth than if he lies, even if the truth might make him feel uncomfortable or get him in trouble.
Talk to children about the difference between make-believe and reality, and about alternatives to lying.
Give children examples of why honesty is important. Show how lying has consequences.
When a child is caught lying, talk about the consequences, how she might have acted differently, and how she should act going forward.
Avoid browbeating and punishing when broaching the subject of dishonesty. Be firm but understanding, and let them know you expect the truth no matter what.
If it appears that a child has a serious problem with lying, seek professional help from a counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist.
Help your children practice being honest so that lying is not comfortable for them and is not a part of who they are.
References
Parenthood.com
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Sue Scheff - Internet Video Bullying by Connect with Kids
“It never goes away. It’s a permanent record of your stupidity.”
– Griff, 17
Here’s a recipe for trouble: start with a teenager’s impulsive brain, add in a little peer pressure, a video camera and the Internet, and the results are violent assaults, dangerous crashes, and outrageous stunts – all captured on video and posted online.
On one website, there are videos of kids crashing while rollerblading … skiing while tied to a car … shooting fireworks at a friend.
“I saw this video of two friends, where one guy put himself in a garbage can and his friend pushed him down the street, and then it was going and going, and then bam! he just hit the door,” says Donte, 15.
In other news, eight Florida teens were arrested recently for beating up another teen. How did the police catch them? The teens posted the video of the assault online.
Because of the popularity of video-sharing sites such as YouTube, experts say that each week, kids try even more dangerous stunts to gain their 15 minutes of fame.
“It’s one-upmanship almost,” says Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert. “They say, ‘Well, he jumped off a 10-foot ladder … I’m going to do him one better. I’m going to jump off a 15-foot ladder.’ And then it will be a 20-foot and then a 30-foot [ladder].”
“They could say, ‘I jumped off my roof.’ And if someone doesn’t believe them, they could say, ‘Well, go check my Myspace. I have a video,’” says Derek, 15.
Experts say parents should explain that stunts are not just dangerous -- they may also have life-long consequences.
“You could do something stupid and then say, ‘I’m going to erase it.’ But you have to realize that [the video] could have been reproduced by hundreds if not thousands of people who have seen it,” says Phipps.
“It could have all sorts of effects, like when you are trying to go to college, if they see that you are an arsonist, they might not accept you,” says David, 15.
“It never goes away. It’s a permanent record of your stupidity,” says Griff, 17.
Tips for Parents
Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group, offers these tips:
Make sure your kids never use their real name or address when posting material on the Internet. Avoid posting any information that would allow a stranger to locate your child. This includes the name of a school or sports team or the city where you live.
– Griff, 17
Here’s a recipe for trouble: start with a teenager’s impulsive brain, add in a little peer pressure, a video camera and the Internet, and the results are violent assaults, dangerous crashes, and outrageous stunts – all captured on video and posted online.
On one website, there are videos of kids crashing while rollerblading … skiing while tied to a car … shooting fireworks at a friend.
“I saw this video of two friends, where one guy put himself in a garbage can and his friend pushed him down the street, and then it was going and going, and then bam! he just hit the door,” says Donte, 15.
In other news, eight Florida teens were arrested recently for beating up another teen. How did the police catch them? The teens posted the video of the assault online.
Because of the popularity of video-sharing sites such as YouTube, experts say that each week, kids try even more dangerous stunts to gain their 15 minutes of fame.
“It’s one-upmanship almost,” says Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert. “They say, ‘Well, he jumped off a 10-foot ladder … I’m going to do him one better. I’m going to jump off a 15-foot ladder.’ And then it will be a 20-foot and then a 30-foot [ladder].”
“They could say, ‘I jumped off my roof.’ And if someone doesn’t believe them, they could say, ‘Well, go check my Myspace. I have a video,’” says Derek, 15.
Experts say parents should explain that stunts are not just dangerous -- they may also have life-long consequences.
“You could do something stupid and then say, ‘I’m going to erase it.’ But you have to realize that [the video] could have been reproduced by hundreds if not thousands of people who have seen it,” says Phipps.
“It could have all sorts of effects, like when you are trying to go to college, if they see that you are an arsonist, they might not accept you,” says David, 15.
“It never goes away. It’s a permanent record of your stupidity,” says Griff, 17.
Tips for Parents
Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group, offers these tips:
Make sure your kids never use their real name or address when posting material on the Internet. Avoid posting any information that would allow a stranger to locate your child. This includes the name of a school or sports team or the city where you live.
Take your child’s level of maturity into account when deciding whether he or she can handle a video camera or web cam.
Make sure kids understand that videos they post on the Internet may damage their reputation. Often kids assume only their friends will view these videos. Explain that teachers, college admissions departments, police departments and prospective employers all scout the Internet to learn more about a person’s character
Additional tips for parents:
Realize that kids who post videos or profiles on the Internet are more likely to be contacted by a sexual predator.
Report any unwanted or inappropriate messages to law enforcement. (Joe Rosen, former FBI Agent)
If kids do want to post videos online, suggest they do something that would help others see them in a positive light. Have kids exercise their creativity. For example, write, film and video-edit a skit. (Melanie Mitchell, director, iD Tech Camps, Emory location)
References
iD Tech Camps
Joe Rosen, former FBI Agent
Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group
Sunday, May 4, 2008
(Sue Scheff) The Teenage Brain
By Connect with Kids
The Teenage Brain
Are you dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of raising a teenager? Teens are impulsive, stubborn and moody. A troubled teenager will yell at you one minute and hug you the next. What’s a parent to do? Get The Teenage Brain and see the latest research to help you understand defiant teenagers and how their mind actually works. You’ll improve your parenting skills and learn how to influence troubled teenagers and how to better communicate with them.
Find out what makes defiant teenagers tick.
New research shows that there are clear-cut, physical differences between an adult’s brain and a teenager’s brain – differences that explain typical “teen behavior.” The Teenage Brain is a compelling video program that gives families with troubled teenagers hope while providing the latest facts, tips from experts, advice from health practitioners, stories from teens themselves and much more.
When it comes to teenagers, you can never have enough parenting skills.
If you have teens, part of your job is to develop their mind. New research shows that you can actually shape the structure of your child’s brain – so shouldn’t you understand how troubled teenagers' or defiant teenagers' brains work? Now you can.
The Teenage Brain
Are you dealing with the emotional rollercoaster of raising a teenager? Teens are impulsive, stubborn and moody. A troubled teenager will yell at you one minute and hug you the next. What’s a parent to do? Get The Teenage Brain and see the latest research to help you understand defiant teenagers and how their mind actually works. You’ll improve your parenting skills and learn how to influence troubled teenagers and how to better communicate with them.
Find out what makes defiant teenagers tick.
New research shows that there are clear-cut, physical differences between an adult’s brain and a teenager’s brain – differences that explain typical “teen behavior.” The Teenage Brain is a compelling video program that gives families with troubled teenagers hope while providing the latest facts, tips from experts, advice from health practitioners, stories from teens themselves and much more.
When it comes to teenagers, you can never have enough parenting skills.
If you have teens, part of your job is to develop their mind. New research shows that you can actually shape the structure of your child’s brain – so shouldn’t you understand how troubled teenagers' or defiant teenagers' brains work? Now you can.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Medication Errors - Common
By Connect with Kids
“I’m looking at it, and I’m about to give it to her, and I notice that it says 1½ teaspoons and I clearly remember the doctor telling me it was 1 teaspoon … so I’m looking at the label and I realize it’s not our name.”
– Janet Smith, mother
When we take a child to the doctor’s office or pick up a prescription at the pharmacy, how likely is it that a doctor, nurse or pharmacy will make a mistake -- one that could harm our child? The author of a new study says it’s more common than people believe.
Janet Smith is very careful about giving medicine to her children, and for good reason …
“I thought I had poisoned her,” recalls Smith.
When Smith’s daughter Katelyn was 2, the pediatrician prescribed a common antibiotic for her ear infection. Smith had given her daughter one dose when she realized the pharmacy had given her the wrong medication!
“I’m looking at it, and I’m about to give it to her, and I notice that it says 1½ teaspoons and I clearly remember the doctor telling me it was 1 teaspoon,” says Smith. “So that caused me to say, ‘something’s not right here,’ so I’m looking at the label and I realize it’s not our name.”
It turns out that medication mistakes are not uncommon.
A new study in the journal, Pediatrics, studied children in the hospital. The study found that 1 in 15 pediatric patients is harmed by medicine errors, overdoses and bad reactions. The study also found that more than half of the problems were related to painkillers.
“I think the average American thinks doctors are infallible; we trust them and we trust our pharmacist, and both are human, both makes mistakes,” says Julie Wickman, pharmacist and pharmacy professor.
Now, when it comes to medicine and her kids, Smith double checks everything.
“When I get medication, when I get a prescription, I listen very carefully to what the doctor says,” says Smith. “I question what the doctor is writing, what it’s for, and when I get the drug home I check the leaflet with the label with what the doctor told me.”
Experts say be thorough, be careful, know what the doctor prescribes, and make sure that’s exactly what you get.
“I trust doctors. I trust them, but I am also very cautious,” says Smith.
Tips for Parents
The American Hospital Association lists the following as common types of medication errors:
Incomplete patient information (not knowing about patients' allergies, other medicines they are taking, previous diagnoses, and lab results, for example)
Unavailable drug information (such as lack of up-to-date warnings)
Miscommunication of drug orders, which can involve poor handwriting, confusion between drugs with similar names, misuse of zeroes and decimal points, confusion of metric and other dosing units, and inappropriate abbreviations
Lack of appropriate labeling as a drug is prepared and repackaged into smaller units
Environmental factors, such as lighting, heat, noise, and interruptions that can distract health professionals from their medical tasks
What You Can Do (Institute for Safe Medication Practices, ISMP)
In one case reported to the Institute for Safe Medication Practices (ISMP), a doctor called in a prescription for the antibiotic Noroxin for a patient with a bladder infection. But the pharmacist thought the order was for Neurontin, a medication used to treat seizures. The good news is that the patient read the medication leaflet stapled to his medication bag, noticed the drug he received is used to treat seizures, and then asked about it. ISMP president Michael Cohen, R.Ph., Sc.D., says, "You should expect to count on the health system to keep you safe, but there are also steps you can take to look out for yourself and your family."
Know what kinds of errors occur. The FDA found that the most common types of errors involved administering an improper dose (41 percent), giving the wrong drug (16 percent), and using the wrong method of administration (16 percent). Older people are especially at risk for errors because they often take multiple medications. Children are also vulnerable because drugs are often dosed based on their weight, and accurate calculations are critical.
Find out what drug you're taking and what it's for. Rather than simply letting the doctor write you a prescription and send you on your way, be sure to ask the name of the drug. Cohen says, "I would also ask the doctor to put the purpose of the prescription on the order." This serves as a check in case there is some confusion about the drug name. If you're in the hospital, ask (or have a friend or family member ask) what drugs you are being given and why.
Find out how to take the drug and make sure you understand the directions. If you are told to take a medicine three times a day, does that mean eight hours apart exactly or at mealtimes? Should the medicine be stored at room temperature or in the refrigerator? Are there any medications, beverages, or foods you should avoid? Also, ask about what medication side effects you might expect and what you should do about them.
Read the bottle's label every time you take a drug to avoid mistakes. In the middle of the night, you could mistake ear drops for eye drops, or accidentally give your older child's medication to the baby if you're not careful.
Use the measuring device that comes with the medicine, not spoons from the kitchen drawer. If you take multiple medications and have trouble keeping them straight, ask your doctor or pharmacist about compliance aids, such as containers with sections for daily doses.
Keep a list of all medications, including over-the-counter (OTC) drugs, as well as dietary supplements, medicinal herbs and other substances you take for health reasons, and report them to your health care providers. Remember to tell your doctor if you are taking any vitamins, laxatives, sleeping aids, and birth control pills as they can have negative interactions with other medications. For example, some antibiotics can lower the effectiveness of birth control pills. If you see different doctors, it's important that they all know what you are taking. If possible, get all your prescriptions filled at the same pharmacy so that all of your records are in one place. Also, make sure your doctors and pharmacy know about your medication allergies or other unpleasant drug reactions you may have experienced.
If in doubt, ask, ask, ask. Be on the lookout for clues of a problem, such as if your pills look different than normal or if you notice a different drug name or different directions than what you thought. Robert Krawisz of the National Patient Safety Foundation says it's best to be cautious and ask questions if you're unsure about anything. "If you forget, don't hesitate to call your doctor or pharmacist when you get home," he says. "It can't hurt to ask."
References
American Hospital Association
National Patient Safety Foundation
Institute for Safe Medication Practices, ISMP)
“I’m looking at it, and I’m about to give it to her, and I notice that it says 1½ teaspoons and I clearly remember the doctor telling me it was 1 teaspoon … so I’m looking at the label and I realize it’s not our name.”
– Janet Smith, mother
When we take a child to the doctor’s office or pick up a prescription at the pharmacy, how likely is it that a doctor, nurse or pharmacy will make a mistake -- one that could harm our child? The author of a new study says it’s more common than people believe.
Janet Smith is very careful about giving medicine to her children, and for good reason …
“I thought I had poisoned her,” recalls Smith.
When Smith’s daughter Katelyn was 2, the pediatrician prescribed a common antibiotic for her ear infection. Smith had given her daughter one dose when she realized the pharmacy had given her the wrong medication!
“I’m looking at it, and I’m about to give it to her, and I notice that it says 1½ teaspoons and I clearly remember the doctor telling me it was 1 teaspoon,” says Smith. “So that caused me to say, ‘something’s not right here,’ so I’m looking at the label and I realize it’s not our name.”
It turns out that medication mistakes are not uncommon.
A new study in the journal, Pediatrics, studied children in the hospital. The study found that 1 in 15 pediatric patients is harmed by medicine errors, overdoses and bad reactions. The study also found that more than half of the problems were related to painkillers.
“I think the average American thinks doctors are infallible; we trust them and we trust our pharmacist, and both are human, both makes mistakes,” says Julie Wickman, pharmacist and pharmacy professor.
Now, when it comes to medicine and her kids, Smith double checks everything.
“When I get medication, when I get a prescription, I listen very carefully to what the doctor says,” says Smith. “I question what the doctor is writing, what it’s for, and when I get the drug home I check the leaflet with the label with what the doctor told me.”
Experts say be thorough, be careful, know what the doctor prescribes, and make sure that’s exactly what you get.
“I trust doctors. I trust them, but I am also very cautious,” says Smith.
Tips for Parents
The American Hospital Association lists the following as common types of medication errors:
Incomplete patient information (not knowing about patients' allergies, other medicines they are taking, previous diagnoses, and lab results, for example)
Unavailable drug information (such as lack of up-to-date warnings)
Miscommunication of drug orders, which can involve poor handwriting, confusion between drugs with similar names, misuse of zeroes and decimal points, confusion of metric and other dosing units, and inappropriate abbreviations
Lack of appropriate labeling as a drug is prepared and repackaged into smaller units
Environmental factors, such as lighting, heat, noise, and interruptions that can distract health professionals from their medical tasks
What You Can Do (Institute for Safe Medication Practices, ISMP)
In one case reported to the Institute for Safe Medication Practices (ISMP), a doctor called in a prescription for the antibiotic Noroxin for a patient with a bladder infection. But the pharmacist thought the order was for Neurontin, a medication used to treat seizures. The good news is that the patient read the medication leaflet stapled to his medication bag, noticed the drug he received is used to treat seizures, and then asked about it. ISMP president Michael Cohen, R.Ph., Sc.D., says, "You should expect to count on the health system to keep you safe, but there are also steps you can take to look out for yourself and your family."
Know what kinds of errors occur. The FDA found that the most common types of errors involved administering an improper dose (41 percent), giving the wrong drug (16 percent), and using the wrong method of administration (16 percent). Older people are especially at risk for errors because they often take multiple medications. Children are also vulnerable because drugs are often dosed based on their weight, and accurate calculations are critical.
Find out what drug you're taking and what it's for. Rather than simply letting the doctor write you a prescription and send you on your way, be sure to ask the name of the drug. Cohen says, "I would also ask the doctor to put the purpose of the prescription on the order." This serves as a check in case there is some confusion about the drug name. If you're in the hospital, ask (or have a friend or family member ask) what drugs you are being given and why.
Find out how to take the drug and make sure you understand the directions. If you are told to take a medicine three times a day, does that mean eight hours apart exactly or at mealtimes? Should the medicine be stored at room temperature or in the refrigerator? Are there any medications, beverages, or foods you should avoid? Also, ask about what medication side effects you might expect and what you should do about them.
Read the bottle's label every time you take a drug to avoid mistakes. In the middle of the night, you could mistake ear drops for eye drops, or accidentally give your older child's medication to the baby if you're not careful.
Use the measuring device that comes with the medicine, not spoons from the kitchen drawer. If you take multiple medications and have trouble keeping them straight, ask your doctor or pharmacist about compliance aids, such as containers with sections for daily doses.
Keep a list of all medications, including over-the-counter (OTC) drugs, as well as dietary supplements, medicinal herbs and other substances you take for health reasons, and report them to your health care providers. Remember to tell your doctor if you are taking any vitamins, laxatives, sleeping aids, and birth control pills as they can have negative interactions with other medications. For example, some antibiotics can lower the effectiveness of birth control pills. If you see different doctors, it's important that they all know what you are taking. If possible, get all your prescriptions filled at the same pharmacy so that all of your records are in one place. Also, make sure your doctors and pharmacy know about your medication allergies or other unpleasant drug reactions you may have experienced.
If in doubt, ask, ask, ask. Be on the lookout for clues of a problem, such as if your pills look different than normal or if you notice a different drug name or different directions than what you thought. Robert Krawisz of the National Patient Safety Foundation says it's best to be cautious and ask questions if you're unsure about anything. "If you forget, don't hesitate to call your doctor or pharmacist when you get home," he says. "It can't hurt to ask."
References
American Hospital Association
National Patient Safety Foundation
Institute for Safe Medication Practices, ISMP)
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Sue Scheff: Teens Flunked Personal Finance by Connect with Kids
“It’s easy for these students to get the credit, go and buy a stereo, go and buy a television, go buy all this stuff that they want, and then all of sudden, they’re in a lot of debt.”
– Carol Pizza, economics teacher
Teenagers in the U.S. spend more than $150 billion a year, according to Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU), an organization that tracks teenage consumer behavior and attitudes. Yet, how much do teens today understand about basic finances such as saving, investing and borrowing? Not much, according to a new national survey.
In the survey, teens were asked several questions about money, including: If you lose your credit card, what’s your liability? Here’s how some high school students answered:
”One thousand dollars,” Blake guesses -- incorrectly.
”Five hundred dollars,” guesses David. Wrong again.
But Lauren answers correctly: “Fifty dollars.”
Next question: where will money grow the most over 18 years?
Lauren asks, “Savings account?”
Denise agrees: “Savings account.”
They are both wrong; Kelly gets it right: “Stocks.”
In a recent national survey, more than 6,000 12TH graders were tested, and they answered more than half of the questions incorrectly. College students also took the test this year, and they answered 38 percent of the questions incorrectly. Experts say that what teens don’t know about money can hurt them.
Carol Pizza, an economics teacher, explains, “It’s easy for these students to get the credit, go and buy a stereo, go and buy a television, go buy all this stuff that they want, and then all of sudden, they’re in a lot of debt.”
Pizza says parents can teach their kids about debt, bills and balancing a budget by giving them hands-on experience with the family finances.
“They need to encourage their child to help them with their bank statement every month, reconciling their checking account. Just let them be more involved; let your child know more about your finances, know how much your mortgage is a month.”
Pizza also suggests giving teens a credit card, but with strict spending limits, so they learn how easy and painless credit cards can be -- until they get the bill.
“We’re getting to the point where we’re almost in college and we’re going to be getting our credit cards,” says David, a high school student, “and if you get into a lot of debt then your parents are going to have to pay and you’re going have to pay, too, and it’s not going to be a good situation.”
Tips for Parents
– Carol Pizza, economics teacher
Teenagers in the U.S. spend more than $150 billion a year, according to Teenage Research Unlimited (TRU), an organization that tracks teenage consumer behavior and attitudes. Yet, how much do teens today understand about basic finances such as saving, investing and borrowing? Not much, according to a new national survey.
In the survey, teens were asked several questions about money, including: If you lose your credit card, what’s your liability? Here’s how some high school students answered:
”One thousand dollars,” Blake guesses -- incorrectly.
”Five hundred dollars,” guesses David. Wrong again.
But Lauren answers correctly: “Fifty dollars.”
Next question: where will money grow the most over 18 years?
Lauren asks, “Savings account?”
Denise agrees: “Savings account.”
They are both wrong; Kelly gets it right: “Stocks.”
In a recent national survey, more than 6,000 12TH graders were tested, and they answered more than half of the questions incorrectly. College students also took the test this year, and they answered 38 percent of the questions incorrectly. Experts say that what teens don’t know about money can hurt them.
Carol Pizza, an economics teacher, explains, “It’s easy for these students to get the credit, go and buy a stereo, go and buy a television, go buy all this stuff that they want, and then all of sudden, they’re in a lot of debt.”
Pizza says parents can teach their kids about debt, bills and balancing a budget by giving them hands-on experience with the family finances.
“They need to encourage their child to help them with their bank statement every month, reconciling their checking account. Just let them be more involved; let your child know more about your finances, know how much your mortgage is a month.”
Pizza also suggests giving teens a credit card, but with strict spending limits, so they learn how easy and painless credit cards can be -- until they get the bill.
“We’re getting to the point where we’re almost in college and we’re going to be getting our credit cards,” says David, a high school student, “and if you get into a lot of debt then your parents are going to have to pay and you’re going have to pay, too, and it’s not going to be a good situation.”
Tips for Parents
Several factors, including the media, peers and personal successes and failures, influence children’s attitudes about work, money, spending and saving. But according to the National Council on Economic Education, parents exert the most influence on children’s ability to make sound financial decisions. Children need to see their parents practice sound money management – saving, budgeting and making rational (instead of impulsive) decisions about purchases. The Americans for Consumer Education and Competition suggests the following tips to help improve your child’s financial fitness:
Start financial education early by giving your child a weekly allowance.
Discuss the difference between “must have” purchases, such as school supplies, and “would like to have” purchases, such as a new video game.
Discuss family financial matters (family budget, routine shopping, purchase of a new car or home, planning a vacation, paying for college, etc.) with your child.
Discuss with your child his or her options when he or she receives a monetary gift (saving, investing, giving to charity, etc.).
Incorporate the media (newspaper articles, television, etc.) as a tool to educate your child about financial matters.
Work with your teen to develop a realistic budget. Set long- and short-term financial goals and the plans for achieving them.
Explain the advantages of waiting to make a purchase today, such as the latest gaming system, to save for another desired item, like a car or college education, tomorrow.
Promote shopping around before making purchases. This step generally assures a better deal and discourages impulse buying.
Use financial (checking account, credit card, etc.) statement reviews as a teaching aid to evaluate spending habits, promote sound financial practices and to instill fraud review practices.
Stress the importance of safeguarding personal and financial data, such as Social Security, personal identification (PIN) numbers and credit card information, as a means of preventing frauds like identity theft.
Foster charitable giving by urging your teen to donate some percentage of his/her allowance, however small, to the organization(s) of his or her choice.
References
The Americans for Consumer Education and Competition
National Council on Economic Education
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