“The findings are pretty clear: there is no significant difference between how kids do -- given their socio-economic background, their family background -- in private schools and in public school.”
– Dr. Martin Carnoy, Stanford University Department of Education
Will sending your kids to a private school help them succeed in life? It’s a difficult question, especially for parents who would have to struggle to pay private school tuition. Now, a new study suggests that our children’s success depends on how we answer a very different question.
Some kids like public school better than private school.
“Well, at public schools, there are not as many rules and there’s a lot more people to hang out with and a lot more groups,” says Kenny, 13.
Other kids say private school is more of a challenge.
“When you go to a public school, everything’s easier. When I went to a private school there was harder stuff,” says Chris, 17.
Do private schools really give kids an academic advantage? According to the Center on Education Policy in Washington, D. C., the answer is no.
“The findings are pretty clear: there is no significant difference between how kids do -- given their socio-economic background, their family background -- in private schools and in public schools,” says Dr. Martin Carnoy, Stanford University Department of Education.
The study reports that success in school and in life isn’t a matter of public school versus private school. It’s a matter of how involved parents are with their children.
Research continues to show that when parents get involved in their child’s education, that’s what helps kids the most.
“I see an increase in their productivity and their classroom activities. I even see in them a tremendous improvement academically,” says Cathie Banks, academic advisor.
Experts say “parent involvement” can mean lots of things.
“You need to know their teachers well enough that you can call them at home. You need to know what’s expected of [your child], go through all the syllabi that the students get and actually sitting down, reading with them, studying with them,” says Allan Kennedy, licensed professional counselor.
So, can money buy a better education? Not according to this mom:
“I don’t think that just because you pay money for something that it makes it better,” says Karen Kehlet, mother and PTA co-president.
The academics at public and private schools may be similar, but there are other differences. For example, if you want your child to wear a school uniform, receive a religious education or learn in a college preparatory environment, a private school may be worth the money.
Tips for Parents
As a parent, how can you determine what type of school is best for your child? For starters, it is important for you to know your options. The Oregon Department of Education cites the following types of schools for you to consider:
Charter schools (public): These autonomous, “alternative” public schools are started by parents, teachers, community organizations and for-profit companies. They receive tax dollars, but the sponsoring group must also come up with private funding. Charter schools must adhere to the basic curricular requirements of the state but are free from many of the regulations that apply to conventional schools and the day-to-day scrutiny of school boards and government authorities.
Magnet schools (public): These highly competitive, highly selective public schools are renowned for their special programs, superior facilities and high academic standards. They may specialize in a particular area, such as science or the arts. Students who apply to these schools go through a rigorous testing and application process.
Independent schools (private): These schools are nonprofit and governed by elected boards of trustees. Independent schools draw their funds from tuition payments, charitable contributions and endowments rather than from taxes or church funds. They may be affiliated with a religious institution but cannot receive funds or governance from them.
Independent private day schools generally cost from a few thousand to more than $10,000 per student per year, while an independent boarding school charges each student approximately $20,000 annually.
Parochial schools (private): These church-related schools are most commonly owned and operated by Catholic parishes or dioceses but also by Protestant denominations. Hebrew or Jewish Day schools may also be termed parochial, but are more commonly known as “day schools.” The majority of the private schools in the United States are parochial schools.
Their academic curriculum is supplemented with required daily religious instruction and prayer. Teachers may be clergy or laypersons who may or may not be trained educators.
Your child doesn’t have to be Catholic to attend a parochial school, but he or she will still be required to attend religious education classes and prayer services. Parochial schools generally cost between $1,200 and $2,400 per year for an elementary school student and between $4,600 and $7,500 for a high school student.
Proprietary schools (private): These private schools are run for profit. This is a relatively new category of school. They do not answer to any board of trustees or elected officials. Because of this, they claim to be able to respond quickly to the demands of the market. Tuition is comparable to that of private, nonprofit schools.
Home schools: These schools include an educational environment in which a student receives instruction offered in a home, as regulated by state law, for reasons other than health.
Talk to others.
Find out what active parents and educators think about schools or other programs. A customer’s point of view, from someone who actually has a child enrolled, is one of the best sources.
Evaluate the school. Once you decide which schools you are going to evaluate, it is important to search out information and ask questions that will show you what each school offers in important areas.
Schedule a visit. Visit at least two of your top schools. Test scores and written mission statements can’t tell you enough. Besides, the best school for your child is often the one where you can be most involved, and you can only find that out by meeting people at the school face-to-face.
Take action early. You’ve talked to other parents. You’ve evaluated the school and you’ve stopped by for a visit.
You have all of the information you need to make your decision. Prioritize the schools that best meet your child’s needs and the goals you have determined for your child, and apply by the deadline.
References
Broward County Public Schools
National Association of Independent Schools
Oregon Department of Education
Partnership for Learning
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Connect with Kids: Anorexia and Eating Disorders
“It was definitely an obsession and giving that up was incredibly hard, it was like asking me not to breathe.”
– Kathryn, 17
Hundreds of thousands of girls in the U.S. struggle with anorexia, which is an obsession to be thin. According to the National Institutes of Health, as many as one in 10 will die from the disease.
How does this obsession begin in a young girl’s mind?
When she was 15, Kathryn was desperate to be thin.
“It was definitely an obsession and giving that up was incredibly hard; it was like asking me not to breathe,” says Kathryn, 17.
Kathryn developed anorexia; she may have inherited from her mom.
“I think I clearly had some sort of eating disorder as an adolescent,” says Kathy, Kathryn’s mother.
One study of anorexic women found that many of them shared a propensity for perfection, a trait experts think could also be genetic.
Along with genetics, experts say sometimes parents unintentionally encourage eating disorders. What do experts advise? Avoid the “d” word. “I never like to hear it, especially when kids are involved with the word diet. That’s kind of a restrictive word. You shouldn’t restrict your kids from having different types of food.
What I do recommend is making sure that they have healthy options at home,” says Sara Price, personal trainer.
Next, remember that parents are role models and your children are watching.
“Moms who are so ultra-concerned about weight and size because of their own struggles, even with a child who doesn’t have a problem, may be putting undue concern and focus on this. Creating a fear, creating an anxiety,” says Paige Love, registered dietician.
Non-stop diets, weighing and measuring food, counting every calorie, and constantly weighing yourself can all send a message.
“You don’t want to trigger eating disorders, which you really can. You can get obsessive with food and calories and exercise; you can create a monster that you will regret,” says Kathleen Zelman, registered dietician.
Experts say that the best advice is also the most obvious: focus on who your child is, not how much he or she weighs.
“Listen to your daughter. If you actually hear who she is, what she thinks, what she feels, what her true self is, then that’s what you value more than how she looks. Then she’ll start to believe that that’s sufficient,” says Rick Kilmer, Ph.D., licensed psychologist.
Kathryn is better now, but it took months of love and support and therapy.
“I’ve come a long way physically, but more so mentally. I was lucky, definitely lucky,” says Kathryn.
Tips for Parents
Warning signs of Anorexia: (Nemours Foundation)
Drops weight to about 20% below normal
Denies feeling hungry
Exercises excessively and feels fat
Withdraws from social activities
Therapy or counseling is a critical part of treating eating disorders and in many cases, family therapy is one of the keys to eating healthily again. (Nemours Foundation)
The most critical thing about treating eating disorders is to recognize and address the problem as soon as possible like all bad habits, unhealthy eating patterns become harder to break the longer a person takes part in them. (Nemours Foundation)
Carefully consider comments you may make, about other people’s appearance and weight. (Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic)
Eating disorders can be triggered by a major life change or trauma for a child. Be particularly attentive after such events as a divorce or moving to a new city. (Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic)
References
Nemours Foundation
Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic
– Kathryn, 17
Hundreds of thousands of girls in the U.S. struggle with anorexia, which is an obsession to be thin. According to the National Institutes of Health, as many as one in 10 will die from the disease.
How does this obsession begin in a young girl’s mind?
When she was 15, Kathryn was desperate to be thin.
“It was definitely an obsession and giving that up was incredibly hard; it was like asking me not to breathe,” says Kathryn, 17.
Kathryn developed anorexia; she may have inherited from her mom.
“I think I clearly had some sort of eating disorder as an adolescent,” says Kathy, Kathryn’s mother.
One study of anorexic women found that many of them shared a propensity for perfection, a trait experts think could also be genetic.
Along with genetics, experts say sometimes parents unintentionally encourage eating disorders. What do experts advise? Avoid the “d” word. “I never like to hear it, especially when kids are involved with the word diet. That’s kind of a restrictive word. You shouldn’t restrict your kids from having different types of food.
What I do recommend is making sure that they have healthy options at home,” says Sara Price, personal trainer.
Next, remember that parents are role models and your children are watching.
“Moms who are so ultra-concerned about weight and size because of their own struggles, even with a child who doesn’t have a problem, may be putting undue concern and focus on this. Creating a fear, creating an anxiety,” says Paige Love, registered dietician.
Non-stop diets, weighing and measuring food, counting every calorie, and constantly weighing yourself can all send a message.
“You don’t want to trigger eating disorders, which you really can. You can get obsessive with food and calories and exercise; you can create a monster that you will regret,” says Kathleen Zelman, registered dietician.
Experts say that the best advice is also the most obvious: focus on who your child is, not how much he or she weighs.
“Listen to your daughter. If you actually hear who she is, what she thinks, what she feels, what her true self is, then that’s what you value more than how she looks. Then she’ll start to believe that that’s sufficient,” says Rick Kilmer, Ph.D., licensed psychologist.
Kathryn is better now, but it took months of love and support and therapy.
“I’ve come a long way physically, but more so mentally. I was lucky, definitely lucky,” says Kathryn.
Tips for Parents
Warning signs of Anorexia: (Nemours Foundation)
Drops weight to about 20% below normal
Denies feeling hungry
Exercises excessively and feels fat
Withdraws from social activities
Therapy or counseling is a critical part of treating eating disorders and in many cases, family therapy is one of the keys to eating healthily again. (Nemours Foundation)
The most critical thing about treating eating disorders is to recognize and address the problem as soon as possible like all bad habits, unhealthy eating patterns become harder to break the longer a person takes part in them. (Nemours Foundation)
Carefully consider comments you may make, about other people’s appearance and weight. (Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic)
Eating disorders can be triggered by a major life change or trauma for a child. Be particularly attentive after such events as a divorce or moving to a new city. (Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic)
References
Nemours Foundation
Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sue Scheff: Connect with Kids - Parenting Teenagers is Hard
Loving your kids is easy: Parenting teenagers is hard.
Parents today face very real and sometimes frightening concerns about their children’s lives. As they get older, your kids have their own interests, problems, even their own language. So what's the key to parenting?
You could buy a book…but your child probably won’t read it. You could search the Internet for advice, and ask other parents. Those are good options, but there's one that's even better for parenting teenagers: reality-based DVDs for kids and parents to watch and learn together.
Parents don’t typically think of buying a DVD to help them with the issues their children or a problem teenager faces, but this is powerful positive television programming produced by the Emmy® award-winning Connect With Kids team.
Build Your Own Library
We have a complete library of half-hour programs devoted to parenting teenagers and kids, all related to social, emotional and physical health. These aren’t lectures or scare tactics strictly about how to deal with a problem teenager; they’re true stories of real kids facing issues like drugs, drinking, STDs, obesity, racism, peer pressure, body image, bullying, and more.
These powerful stories are unscripted, unrehearsed and told in kids’ own words, so your children will easily relate to them without feeling defensive, embarrassed, pressured or talked down to. The kids' stories are supported with interviews and advice from leading child specialists, health experts, educators and counselors.
Watching together is a great way to start talking with your kids. Each 30-minute video is only $19.95, and comes with a Viewing Guide with facts, suggested conversation starters and professional advice. To order, visit our products page.
Parents today face very real and sometimes frightening concerns about their children’s lives. As they get older, your kids have their own interests, problems, even their own language. So what's the key to parenting?
You could buy a book…but your child probably won’t read it. You could search the Internet for advice, and ask other parents. Those are good options, but there's one that's even better for parenting teenagers: reality-based DVDs for kids and parents to watch and learn together.
Parents don’t typically think of buying a DVD to help them with the issues their children or a problem teenager faces, but this is powerful positive television programming produced by the Emmy® award-winning Connect With Kids team.
Build Your Own Library
We have a complete library of half-hour programs devoted to parenting teenagers and kids, all related to social, emotional and physical health. These aren’t lectures or scare tactics strictly about how to deal with a problem teenager; they’re true stories of real kids facing issues like drugs, drinking, STDs, obesity, racism, peer pressure, body image, bullying, and more.
These powerful stories are unscripted, unrehearsed and told in kids’ own words, so your children will easily relate to them without feeling defensive, embarrassed, pressured or talked down to. The kids' stories are supported with interviews and advice from leading child specialists, health experts, educators and counselors.
Watching together is a great way to start talking with your kids. Each 30-minute video is only $19.95, and comes with a Viewing Guide with facts, suggested conversation starters and professional advice. To order, visit our products page.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sue Scheff: Connect with Kids - Anger Management for Kids
Stop and talk to the child; let's look at what is really going on internally because many times people hold anger in until it just overflows.”
– Sherry Blake, Ph.D., psychologist
Shouting, screaming, fighting, throwing punches -- how often does this happen in the lives of your children and their friends? If you ask kids, the answer is a lot more often than you might think.
There are all sorts of things that can make kids angry.
“When a person cuts me in line and stuff like that,” says Jake, 7.
“They were on the trampoline and they pushed me down. Now, that makes me angry,” says Walter, 11.
Sometimes this leads to fighting.
“Once I get into a fight, I can’t get out,” says Michael, 10.
In fact, in a new survey of kids 9 to 13 years old, 30 percent say they get angry at someone their age every day. A quarter of those children end up in a fight with kids punching each other. That behavior surprises their parents.
“So many times I’ll hear parents say, ’I have no idea where that comes from; I have no idea what happened there.’ Well, the reality is that if they would stop for a minute, they would find that some of their own behaviors are a reflection, on a different level, of what they’re seeing their child doing,” says Sherry Blake, Ph.D., psychologist.
What’s the best way for parents to help kids handle anger? Show them, says Blake.
“They see your behavior. Your behavior is one where you’ll stop, talk and try to work things out using techniques other than aggression.
Then they learn that’s the way to do it,” says Blake.
She says there’s another lesson that parents can teach kids: the way to defuse anger is to know why you’re angry in the first place.
“Stop and talk to the child; let’s look at what is really going on internally because many times people hold anger in until it just overflows,” says Blake.
What’s more, she says, kids can learn how to control themselves.
“I learned to think calming thoughts. [Also] count back from five when you’re angry,” says Jake. “When you’re really angry, count back from 10,” he adds.
Tips for Parents
The American Psychological Association says that anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to violent outcomes at home and at school. In fact, many teens today have a difficult time keeping their anger under control.
Anger creates physical changes that both teens and parents need to recognize – the heart rate goes up, blood pressure rises and adrenaline levels start to soar. Once these changes occur, coupled with thoughts that fuel anger, the emotion can either be helpful or hurtful.
Provena Mercy Center cites the following warning signs indicating that your teen’s anger is unhealthy:
A frequent loss of temper at the slightest provocation
Brooding, isolation from family and friends
Damage to one’s body or property
A need to exact revenge on others
Decreased involvement in social activity
If you believe your teen has a problem with anger, it is your job to help him or her develop positive conflict resolution techniques. The University of Michigan Health System (UMHS) says that teaching children strategies for dealing with their anger is particularly difficult because it can be hard to know when your child will get angry again. As much as possible, use the time between angry outbursts to discuss and practice how to deal with anger.
The UMHS outlines the following components of teaching your child anger management:
Practice a substitute behavior.
You and your child should practice a substitute behavior to use when he or she is about to get angry. Some ideas include counting, counting backward or visualizing a picture in your mind, such as a peaceful place or a stop sign.
Reward. Sit down with your child and figure out some rewards that he or she can earn by practicing the exercises (on a daily basis) and when he or she uses the exercises when frustrated or angry.
Don’t skip the rewards – they are essential to the success of anger management in children.
Give examples.
Try to think of times when you deal effectively with your own stress and point these out, very briefly, to your child.
Also, share your coping strategy with your child to give an example of how he or she could deal with a similar situation. It is also important that your child see you successfully deal with your own anger.
Encourage using the exercises. When your child starts to get upset, briefly encourage him or her to practice the substitute behavior. Only prompt your child once. Do not continue to bother him or her about using the exercises.
Avoid arguments and discipline consistently. Avoid arguing with your child. Everybody loses when a confrontation occurs. You need to set a good example and deal with your child in a quiet, matter-of-fact manner.
Teens often require specific strategies that are less formal to help them cope with their anger. Share with your teen the following tips to try the next time he or she begins to lose his or her temper: (Nemours Foundation)
Listen to music (with your headphones on) and dance with some anger-inspired energy.
Write it down in any form – poetry or a journal, for example.
Draw it – scribble, doodle or sketch your angry feelings using strong color or lines.
Play a sport or work out. You’ll be amazed at how physical activity helps to work the anger out.
Meditate or practice deep breathing.
This one works best if you do it regularly, not when you’re actually having a meltdown. It’s more of a stress management technique and will help you use self-control and not blow a fuse when you’re mad.
Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Lots of times, other feelings like fear or sadness lie beneath the anger. Talking about these feelings can help.
Distract yourself so you can get your mind past what’s bugging you. Watch television, read or go to the movies instead of stewing for hours about something.
Parents who teach anger-management strategies and encourage non-aggressive conflict-resolution techniques early on may find the teenage years less challenging. If your child has long-lasting feelings of anger or is unable to adopt coping strategies, seek medical assistance and treatment. (U.S. Department of Education)
References
American Psychological Association
Nemours Foundation
Provena Mercy Center
University of Michigan Health System
U.S. Department of Education
– Sherry Blake, Ph.D., psychologist
Shouting, screaming, fighting, throwing punches -- how often does this happen in the lives of your children and their friends? If you ask kids, the answer is a lot more often than you might think.
There are all sorts of things that can make kids angry.
“When a person cuts me in line and stuff like that,” says Jake, 7.
“They were on the trampoline and they pushed me down. Now, that makes me angry,” says Walter, 11.
Sometimes this leads to fighting.
“Once I get into a fight, I can’t get out,” says Michael, 10.
In fact, in a new survey of kids 9 to 13 years old, 30 percent say they get angry at someone their age every day. A quarter of those children end up in a fight with kids punching each other. That behavior surprises their parents.
“So many times I’ll hear parents say, ’I have no idea where that comes from; I have no idea what happened there.’ Well, the reality is that if they would stop for a minute, they would find that some of their own behaviors are a reflection, on a different level, of what they’re seeing their child doing,” says Sherry Blake, Ph.D., psychologist.
What’s the best way for parents to help kids handle anger? Show them, says Blake.
“They see your behavior. Your behavior is one where you’ll stop, talk and try to work things out using techniques other than aggression.
Then they learn that’s the way to do it,” says Blake.
She says there’s another lesson that parents can teach kids: the way to defuse anger is to know why you’re angry in the first place.
“Stop and talk to the child; let’s look at what is really going on internally because many times people hold anger in until it just overflows,” says Blake.
What’s more, she says, kids can learn how to control themselves.
“I learned to think calming thoughts. [Also] count back from five when you’re angry,” says Jake. “When you’re really angry, count back from 10,” he adds.
Tips for Parents
The American Psychological Association says that anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to violent outcomes at home and at school. In fact, many teens today have a difficult time keeping their anger under control.
Anger creates physical changes that both teens and parents need to recognize – the heart rate goes up, blood pressure rises and adrenaline levels start to soar. Once these changes occur, coupled with thoughts that fuel anger, the emotion can either be helpful or hurtful.
Provena Mercy Center cites the following warning signs indicating that your teen’s anger is unhealthy:
A frequent loss of temper at the slightest provocation
Brooding, isolation from family and friends
Damage to one’s body or property
A need to exact revenge on others
Decreased involvement in social activity
If you believe your teen has a problem with anger, it is your job to help him or her develop positive conflict resolution techniques. The University of Michigan Health System (UMHS) says that teaching children strategies for dealing with their anger is particularly difficult because it can be hard to know when your child will get angry again. As much as possible, use the time between angry outbursts to discuss and practice how to deal with anger.
The UMHS outlines the following components of teaching your child anger management:
Practice a substitute behavior.
You and your child should practice a substitute behavior to use when he or she is about to get angry. Some ideas include counting, counting backward or visualizing a picture in your mind, such as a peaceful place or a stop sign.
Reward. Sit down with your child and figure out some rewards that he or she can earn by practicing the exercises (on a daily basis) and when he or she uses the exercises when frustrated or angry.
Don’t skip the rewards – they are essential to the success of anger management in children.
Give examples.
Try to think of times when you deal effectively with your own stress and point these out, very briefly, to your child.
Also, share your coping strategy with your child to give an example of how he or she could deal with a similar situation. It is also important that your child see you successfully deal with your own anger.
Encourage using the exercises. When your child starts to get upset, briefly encourage him or her to practice the substitute behavior. Only prompt your child once. Do not continue to bother him or her about using the exercises.
Avoid arguments and discipline consistently. Avoid arguing with your child. Everybody loses when a confrontation occurs. You need to set a good example and deal with your child in a quiet, matter-of-fact manner.
Teens often require specific strategies that are less formal to help them cope with their anger. Share with your teen the following tips to try the next time he or she begins to lose his or her temper: (Nemours Foundation)
Listen to music (with your headphones on) and dance with some anger-inspired energy.
Write it down in any form – poetry or a journal, for example.
Draw it – scribble, doodle or sketch your angry feelings using strong color or lines.
Play a sport or work out. You’ll be amazed at how physical activity helps to work the anger out.
Meditate or practice deep breathing.
This one works best if you do it regularly, not when you’re actually having a meltdown. It’s more of a stress management technique and will help you use self-control and not blow a fuse when you’re mad.
Talk about your feelings with someone you trust. Lots of times, other feelings like fear or sadness lie beneath the anger. Talking about these feelings can help.
Distract yourself so you can get your mind past what’s bugging you. Watch television, read or go to the movies instead of stewing for hours about something.
Parents who teach anger-management strategies and encourage non-aggressive conflict-resolution techniques early on may find the teenage years less challenging. If your child has long-lasting feelings of anger or is unable to adopt coping strategies, seek medical assistance and treatment. (U.S. Department of Education)
References
American Psychological Association
Nemours Foundation
Provena Mercy Center
University of Michigan Health System
U.S. Department of Education
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