Connect with Kids: Anorexia and Eating Disorders

“It was definitely an obsession and giving that up was incredibly hard, it was like asking me not to breathe.”

– Kathryn, 17

Hundreds of thousands of girls in the U.S. struggle with anorexia, which is an obsession to be thin. According to the National Institutes of Health, as many as one in 10 will die from the disease.

How does this obsession begin in a young girl’s mind?

When she was 15, Kathryn was desperate to be thin.

“It was definitely an obsession and giving that up was incredibly hard; it was like asking me not to breathe,” says Kathryn, 17.

Kathryn developed anorexia; she may have inherited from her mom.

“I think I clearly had some sort of eating disorder as an adolescent,” says Kathy, Kathryn’s mother.

One study of anorexic women found that many of them shared a propensity for perfection, a trait experts think could also be genetic.

Along with genetics, experts say sometimes parents unintentionally encourage eating disorders. What do experts advise? Avoid the “d” word. “I never like to hear it, especially when kids are involved with the word diet. That’s kind of a restrictive word. You shouldn’t restrict your kids from having different types of food.

What I do recommend is making sure that they have healthy options at home,” says Sara Price, personal trainer.

Next, remember that parents are role models and your children are watching.

“Moms who are so ultra-concerned about weight and size because of their own struggles, even with a child who doesn’t have a problem, may be putting undue concern and focus on this. Creating a fear, creating an anxiety,” says Paige Love, registered dietician.

Non-stop diets, weighing and measuring food, counting every calorie, and constantly weighing yourself can all send a message.

“You don’t want to trigger eating disorders, which you really can. You can get obsessive with food and calories and exercise; you can create a monster that you will regret,” says Kathleen Zelman, registered dietician.

Experts say that the best advice is also the most obvious: focus on who your child is, not how much he or she weighs.

“Listen to your daughter. If you actually hear who she is, what she thinks, what she feels, what her true self is, then that’s what you value more than how she looks. Then she’ll start to believe that that’s sufficient,” says Rick Kilmer, Ph.D., licensed psychologist.

Kathryn is better now, but it took months of love and support and therapy.

“I’ve come a long way physically, but more so mentally. I was lucky, definitely lucky,” says Kathryn.

Tips for Parents

Warning signs of Anorexia: (Nemours Foundation)
Drops weight to about 20% below normal
Denies feeling hungry
Exercises excessively and feels fat
Withdraws from social activities

Therapy or counseling is a critical part of treating eating disorders and in many cases, family therapy is one of the keys to eating healthily again. (Nemours Foundation)

The most critical thing about treating eating disorders is to recognize and address the problem as soon as possible like all bad habits, unhealthy eating patterns become harder to break the longer a person takes part in them. (Nemours Foundation)

Carefully consider comments you may make, about other people’s appearance and weight. (Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic)

Eating disorders can be triggered by a major life change or trauma for a child. Be particularly attentive after such events as a divorce or moving to a new city. (Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic)

References

Nemours Foundation

Bellott Clinic, Eating Disorder Clinic