Sue Scheff: Family Dinners and Eating Disorders

By Connect with Kids

“If you have dinner with your family, including your kids, five nights a week, you have amazing results. You seem to have less incidence of a lot of problems that parents worry about with their teens.”

– Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist

The average American woman is 5’ 4” and weighs 140 pounds. The average American model is 5’ 11” and weights 117 pounds. For millions of girls, that difference translates into dangerous eating disorders and extreme diets. What can parents do to help protect their daughters?

Sometimes starvation diets, binging and purging, or overuse of diet pills are used to correct a flaw no one else can see.

“I just see myself as really fat and gross,” says Lauren, 16.

‘I started buying fitness magazines and they all said to diet. I just couldn’t see reality. I saw fat where there wasn’t any,” says Maggie, 17.

‘I think I’m really fat right now, and that’s why I want to lose weight,” says Shelby, 18.

A new study in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine reports a positive way to reduce the risk of an eating disorder: having regularly-scheduled family dinners.

“If you have dinner with your family, including your kids, five nights a week, you have amazing results. You seem to have less incidence of a lot of problems that parents worry about with their teens,” says Nancy McGarrah, Ph.D., psychologist.

In fact, the study found that teen girls who regularly had dinner with their family were 30 percent less likely to go on extreme diets or develop an eating disorder. Why? For one thing, experts say parents who sit and eat a healthy meal with their kids are good role models.

“Studies show time and time again that children model parents’ behavior with food,” says Rachel Brandeis, American Dietetic Association.

But experts also say that eating disorders are emotional disorders, and a family meal is a chance for kids to be with those who love them the most. That can help counteract what causes eating disorders in the first place.

“You’re having time with the family, you’re showing your commitment to your kids, you are tailoring your day around your kids, you’re having them tailor their day around that important time, and you’re having open communication,” says McGarrah.

Tips for Parents

Shared family meals are more likely to be nutritious, and kids who eat regularly with their families are less likely to snack on unhealthy foods and more likely to eat fruits, vegetables and whole grains. (Nemours Foundation)

Teens who take part in regular family meals are less likely to smoke, drink alcohol or use marijuana and other drugs, and are more likely to have healthier diets as adults. (Nemours Foundation)

Girls who have five or more meals a week with their families are one-third less likely to develop unhealthy eating habits, which can range from skipping meals to full-fledged anorexia or abusing diet pills. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, SAMHSA)

The importance of regular family activities to share ideas and find out “what’s happening” is a great way for a parent to be involved, discuss rules, monitor activities and friends, and be a good role model. (SAMHSA)

The benefits of eating together will last long after your meal ends, especially if you make family mealtimes a regular activity. (SAMHSA)

References

Nemours Foundation
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)

Sue Scheff: Benefits of Abstinence Among Teens

By Connect with Kids

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions.”

– Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician

Regret can be a great teacher and, according to a new survey of high school students, that’s especially true when it comes to teenagers and sex.

Trey was 14 when he first had sex.

“Just the pressure -- upper classmen -- they were just ragging me on to do it, and I just fell into that trap. I fell into that peer pressure,” says Trey, 17.

Afterwards, Trey says he regretted it.

“Just the feeling, the emotions that were going through my mind…and my thoughts were, ‘What am I doing? I feel like I’m soliciting myself, I don’t know even know this girl’s name by heart,’” recalls Trey.

In a survey of high school students by researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, sexually-experienced teens were twice as likely to value abstinence as teens who were virgins. It seems that it is after having sex that some kids learn the value of being abstinent.

“It’s unfortunate that they had to learn it the hard way, but one of the things that they’re realizing is that there is an alternative way: there’s a way for me to court [someone], or to get a guy that I like to court me and respect me and for me not to have sex,” says Alduan Tartt, psychologist.

Experts say another way kids can learn about the risks and complications of sex are from their parents -- not from “atalk” but with a conversation.

“If you don’t feel that they should be having sex at this age, tell them that. Explain your values. Listen to them as well, give them a chance to express their opinions as well, and you can have a discussion about it. It’s very important that adolescents have a chance to express their own opinions and to hear your reactions to those opinions,” says Dr. Mark Schuster, M.D., Ph.D., pediatrician.

Trey says he’s choosing abstinence now and it feels right.

“You don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t have to worry about if you have an STD. You’re just focused on your goals,” says Trey.

Tips for Parents

Abstinence is defined as not having sex. A person who decides to practice abstinence has decided not to have sex. (Nemours Foundation)

Abstinence is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy. Although many birth control methods can have high rates of success if used properly, they can fail occasionally. Practicing abstinence ensures that a girl will not become pregnant because there is no opportunity for sperm to fertilize an egg. (Nemours Foundation)

Only complete and consistent abstinence can totally protect against STDs. Because a person does not have any type of intimate sexual contact when he or she practices complete abstinence, there is no risk of passing on a sexually transmitted infection. (Nemours Foundation)

Don't let teasing or pressure from friends, a girlfriend, a boyfriend, or even the media push you into something that's not right for you. Research shows that the majority of teens are not having sex. (www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit)

A couple can still have a relationship without having sex. If you've made a decision not to have sex, it's an important personal choice and the people who care about you should respect that. (Nemours Foundation)

You may have questions about making this choice or about other methods of birth control. Your doctor or nurse — or an adult you trust, such as a parent, teacher or counselor — can help provide accurate answers. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation
Children and Youth Coordinating Council (CYCC) www.connectwithkids.com/everybodysnotdoingit

Sue Scheff: Dropouts Start Early - by Connect with Kids

“Time is of the essence for children that are falling behind, because every day they fall behind, their peers are moving ahead and so it’s like chasing a moving target.”

– Jill Isbell Rhodes of Reading Recovery, Long Beach Unified School District

Before this school year ends, 1 million kids will have dropped out of high school. Conventional wisdom has it that dropping out is an angry and impulsive decision for many kids. But a new study suggests that there is a way to predict who will drop out -- just visit your local kindergarten.

Last year, 7-year-old Derrick was beginning to hate books.

“When he did read, he’d get frustrated and he didn’t want to read,” says Derrick’s mother.

How did he feel?

“Sad,” says Derrick.

Even at this early age, it is a race against time.

“Time is of the essence for children that are falling behind, because every day they fall behind, their peers are moving ahead and so it’s like chasing a moving target,” says Jill Isbell Rhodes of Reading Recovery, Long Beach Unified School District.

Many kids never catch up. A study in the journal, Education Research, reports that you can predict with accuracy who will drop out in high school by looking at how well kids perform in kindergarten.

“If you start school with a negative experience, that’s an experience that’s going to last for the rest of their educational career,” says Danny Darby, education specialist.

The research suggests that dropping out is not an impulsive decision, but an outcome set in motion years earlier.

“The idea here is that as these problems go on and on, and as they are overlooked, children’s personality organization -- their character formation -- begins to be settled, begins to be more entrenched. And the longer you wait, the more that’s the way they become, the harder it is to make change, and the costs are much, much higher,” says Dr. Nathaniel Donson, M.D., child psychiatrist

Experts say early intervention is crucial.

“If you identify it and address it now -- at the preschool level -- it does not exist at the middle school or at the high school level. It won’t exist anymore. But you have to intervene early, and you have to address it as early as possible,” says Robert J. Aloia, superintendent, Bergen Country Technical Schools.

Derrick is now in a special reading program. He says he didn’t used to “feel” like a reader

“But now I do,” says Derrick.

Tips for Parents

Five intervention strategies that have been used to prevent school dropouts among a high-risk population (National Center on Secondary Education and Transition):

Persistence, Continuity and Consistency -- used concurrently to show students that there was someone who was not going to give up on them or allow them to be distracted from school;

someone who knew the student and was available to them throughout the school year, the summer, and into the next school year; and providing a common message about the need to stay in school.

Monitoring — the occurrence of risk behaviors (e.g., skipped classes, tardiness, absenteeism, behavioral referrals, suspensions, poor academic performance) was consistently tracked, as were the effects of interventions in response to risk behaviors.

Relationships — a caring relationship between an adult connected to the school and the student was established.

Affiliation — a sense of belonging to school was encouraged through participation in school-related activities.

Problem-Solving Skills — skills students need for solving a variety of problems were taught and supported so students were able to survive in challenging school, home and community environments.

References
National Center on Secondary Education and Transition

Breakfast Reduces Obesity by Connect with Kids

“The kids get all their stuff ready at nighttime, including clothes and packing backpacks and all that, because if we don’t, in the morning there’s no way that we could have time for them to eat breakfast, ever.”

– Yvonne, mother

It’s an old adage: breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And yet, an estimated 25 percent of children regularly skip it. Now, there is new research showing that eating at the beginning of the day saves calories the rest of the day.

“Do you have everything you need for school?” asks Yvonne, mother.

In lots of families, mornings are chaotic. Share the bathroom, get the kids dressed, pack up the book bag -- which often leaves no time for breakfast. But not at the Gonzalez home.

“You just want one egg each, or you want two?” asks Yvonne.

“It gets you up and running, and has lots of nutrition in it,” says Victoria, 9.

“The kids get all their stuff ready at nighttime, including clothes and packing backpacks and all that, because if we don’t, in the morning there’s no way that we could have time for them to eat breakfast, ever,” says Yvonne.

Researchers at the University of Minnesota studied more than 2,000 teens for five years. They found that teens who eat breakfast on a regular basis weigh less and eat a healthier diet than kids who don’t eat breakfast. Experts say skipping that first meal makes youhungrierlater in the day.

“And when we finally eat, we are ravenous and we are craving. And now we want a quick fix. And we want sugar and we want carbs and we want fat, and that’s what we eat,” says Dr. Ranveig Elvebakk, bariatric physician.

And that, says the doctor, forces the body to produce more insulin.

“This insulin brings the blood sugar into the cell, and what does the cell say? It says ‘I cannot possibly deal with all this sugar; I need to transform it and store it somewhere.’ Then you slowly plump up,” says Elvebakk.

One solution, experts say, is not skipping breakfast, and instead, having something substantial such as eggs or toast or cereal.

“You ate it all? Oh my goodness!” says Mom

Tips for Parents

Children who eat breakfast tend to have more adequate nutrient intake than children who do not.
By eating breakfast, students also get more of the important nutrients, vitamins and minerals such as calcium, dietary fiber, folate and protein. (Food Research and Action Center)

A higher percentage of children who skip breakfast do not meet two-thirds of the Recommended Dietary Allowance (RDA) for vitamins A, E, D, and B. (Food Research and Action Center)

Adolescents who eat breakfast tend to have a lower body mass index (BMI). Higher BMIs can indicate overweight and obesity. Girls who eat breakfast are more likely to have a lower BMI than girls who skip breakfast. (Food Research and Action Center)

Adolescents with one or two obese parents who eat breakfast every day are more likely to have BMIs within a healthy range than those who tend to skip breakfast. (Food Research and Action Center)

Try to serve a balanced breakfast that includes some carbohydrates, protein and fiber. Good sources of these nutrients include: (Nemours Foundation)

Carbohydrates: whole-grain cereals, brown rice, whole-grain breads and muffins, fruits, vegetables

Protein: low-fat or nonfat dairy products, lean meats, eggs, nuts (including nut butters), seeds, and cooked dried beans

Fiber: whole-grain breads, waffles, and cereals; brown rice, bran, and other grains; fruits, vegetables, beans, and nuts

References

Food Research and Action Center
Nemours Foundation

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Cell Phones and Risks

By Connect with Kids

“Don’t put the power in the instrument. The power is in you, the power is in the family, the power is in the communication system of the family. And that will give you safety.”

– Allen Carter, Ph.D., psychologist

Cell phones are a great way for teens to stay in touch with their parents -- especially if it’s an emergency. But do they also give teens a false sense of security?

Fifteen-year old Eimani likes to stay connected. She uses her cell phone as a safety precaution when she’s out with friends or by herself.

“That’s a parent’s worse fear. Something’s gone on and we don’t know where our kids are,” says Miyoshi, Eimani’s mother.

“If I’m in a spot or a jam, my mom will be there. And if I have a cell phone, I can ring my mom up at the drop of a dime,” says Eimani.

But can she? Can she dial that fast in an emergency? According to a study from Ohio State University, 42 percent of girls said they would be willing to walk somewhere after dark if they had a cell phone. However, experts say a cell phone doesn’t replace common sense. If you wouldn’t ordinarily let your child go someplace or stay out late, don’t change those rules just because they now have a phone.

“Don’t put the power in the instrument. The power is in you, the power is in the family, the power is in the communication system of the family, and that will give you safety,” says Allen Carter, Ph.D., psychologist.

Miyoshi says the cell phone is another layer of protection, but it won’t replace logic.

“You have to teach your kids common sense. If something happens, get somewhere safe,” says Miyoshi.

Tips for Parents

Listen to and act on your intuition. It’s better to be safe and risk a little embarrassment than to stay in an uncomfortable situation that may be unsafe. (Iowa State University -- Department of Public Safety)

If you are in danger or being attacked and want to get help, yell “Call 911!” or give specific directions to onlookers; for example: “You! Get the police!” or “Walk me to the store on the corner, I’m being followed.” (Iowa State University -- Department of Public Safety)

Vary your routine: drive or walk different routes every day. If you suspect that someone is following you, by foot or in a car, don’t go home (or they will know where you live). Go to a trusted neighbor or to a public place to call the police, or go directly to the police station. (Iowa State University -- Department of Public Safety)
Do not label keys with your name or any identification. Don’t talk about your social life or vacation plans where strangers can overhear you. (Iowa State University -- Department of Public Safety)

Students need to be aware of their surroundings when they're out using their cell phone. "In some cases, walking with a cell phone might make them vulnerable, either to crime or to an accident," says Ohio State University. (MSNBC)

If you don't carry a cell phone, consider getting one. Did you know that cell phones, even when they are not connected to a cell phone service provider, can still be used to call 911? (California Polytechnic State University)

References

Iowa State University -- Department of Public Safety
MSNBC
Jack Nasar, professor of city and regional planning at Ohio State University
California Polytechnic State University