Do you know about the video games your kids just received for the holidays? Be an educated parent - keep informed. Connect with Kids offers great parenting tips to help you.
Source: Connect with Kids www.connectwithkids.com
Violent Video Games
“You can do anything. Just try to kill him.”
– T.J Trimmer, 12-year-old video game player
12-year-old T. J. Trimmer is playing one of his favorite video games- Mortal Kombat.
The goal, he says simply, is to beat your opponent. “You can do anything,” T.J. says, his fingers frantically manipulating dials and buttons. “Just try to kill him. Like right now I’m attacking this guy with, like, punches and kicks. There are all these special moves that you can use…You attack your opponent….it’ll do more damage to him when you have one of (these) weapons.”
But according to new research from Iowa State University, T.J. isn’t just hurting his opponents.
Researchers studies over 1,500 kids and found that the children who played violent video games were more aggressive afterwards than those who did not.
“They’re not just releasing aggression,” says child psychiatrist Dr. Adolph Casal. “They’re practicing aggression. When we practice something, we get good at it. If we don’t practice something, we don’t get good at it. So spending a considerable amount of time in an aggressive, violent situation on a daily basis, is going to improve our aggression skills.”
Of course, T.J. disagrees. “Like this way, you take your anger out on someone else, but you don’t really take it out on someone. You can take it out on this.”
Experts say parents need to set rules about which games they will allow their children to play and for how long.
Tips for Parents
The video-game industry has undergone a dramatic change since the birth of Super Mario, the happy acrobat who once thrilled children for hours as they played with their Nintendo systems. Today, dark and adult-themed games like Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat are outselling kids’ games. Even Nintendo has switched gears by offering games with edgier subjects like the zombies featured in Resident Evil.
Why has the landscape of the video-game industry undergone such drastic change? Consider these statistics from the Entertainment Software Association:
The average game player is 35 years old and has been playing games for 13 years.
The average age of the most frequent game purchaser is 40 years old.
Forty percent of all game players are women. In fact, women over the age of 18 represent a significantly greater portion of the game-playing population (33 percent) than boys age 17 or younger (18 percent).
In 2008, 26 percent of Americans over the age of 50 played video games, an increase from nine percent in 1999.
Thirty-six percent of heads of households play games on a wireless device, such as a cell phone or PDA, up from 20 percent in 2002.
In its annual report at the end of 2008, the consumer watchdog organization the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF) gave the video-game industry nearly straight-A’s, with particularly high grades in the rating system and retail policies.
Parents, on the other hand, scored an “incomplete” by NIMF, due mainly to their lack of attention to the ratings system and because most don’t use the parental control features on game consoles.
As a parent, how can you prevent your child from becoming exposed to violent or sexually explicit media? You can start by familiarizing yourself with the video game rating system. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rates every video and computer game for age appropriateness (located on the front of the packaging) and, when appropriate, labels games with content descriptions. The ESRB’s current rating standard is as follows:
E: Everyone
T: Teens (13 and older)
M: Mature audiences (17 and older)
AO: Adults only
Children Now, a research and action organization, offers these additional tips for helping you to choose the right video games for your child:
Know your child. Different children handle situations differently. Regardless of age, if your child becomes aggressive or unsettled after playing violent video games, don’t buy games with violence in them. Likewise, if your child likes playing games with characters that look like her or him, purchase games with characters that fit the bill.
Read more than the ratings. While the ESRB ratings can be helpful, they do not tell the whole story. Some features that you may consider violent or sexual may not be labeled as such by the ESRB. In addition, the ESRB does not rate games for the positive inclusion of females or characters of color. The language on the packaging may give you a better idea of the amount and significance of violence and sexuality and the presence of gender and racial diversity or stereotypes in the game.
Go online. The ESRB website provides game ratings as well as definitions of the rating system. In addition, you can visit game maker and distributor websites to learn more about the contents of a game. Some have reviews that will provide even more information about the game.
Rent before you buy. Many video rental stores also rent video games and consoles. Take a trial run before you purchase a game.
Talk to other parents. Find out which games other parents like and dislike as well as which games they let your child play when he or she visits their house. This is a good way to learn about the games that your child enjoys and those that other parents approve of, and to let other parents know which games you do not want your child playing.
Play the games with your child. Know what your child is being exposed to and how he or she reacts to different features in the games.
Talk about what you see. If your child discovers material that he or she finds disturbing or that you find inappropriate, talk about it. This is a great opportunity to let your child know what your values are as well as to help him or her deal with images that may be troubling.
Set limits. If you are worried that your child spends too much time playing video games, limit the amount of time or specify the times of day that video games can be played.
Put the games in a public space. Just as with the Internet, keep your game consoles and computers in public family space so that you can be aware of the material your child is viewing.
Contact the game makers. If you find material that you think is offensive or inappropriate, let the people who make and sell the games know about it. Likewise, let game makers know if you think that a game provides healthy messages or images. They do care what you think!
To make your search easier, the NIMF cites the following video games that are either positive for children or contain negative images for children to avoid:
Positive games for your child:
Guitar Hero World Tour
Rock Band 2
Rock Revolution
Spider-Man: Web of Shadows
Shaun White Snowboard
Games that are inappropriate for your child:
Blitz: The League II
Dead Space
Fallout 3
Far Cry 2
Gears of War 2
Legendary
Left 4 Dead
Resistance 2
Saints Row 2
Silent Hill: Homecoming
References
Children Now
Entertainment Software Rating Board
Federal Trade Commission
Interactive Digital Software Association
Iowa State University
National Institute on Media and the Family
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Sue Scheff: More Kids Value Giving
Source: Connect with Kids
“You don’t get paid, but see that’s not the issue really, the issue is just helping out and you have fun while you do it.”
– Vishnu Kuttappan, 16 years old
For years, Vishnu wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a doctor. But after volunteering at a hospital, he’s not so sure. “It’s kind of a battle,” Vishnu says, “between me, you know, sticking to medicine—and I like medicine a lot—or trying something new.”
Vishnu is part of a new trend among teens who volunteer in order not only to help their community, but also to choose a career.
“If you want to go into medicine,” Vishnu says, “you know, you can learn facts all you want, but until you’re in a hospital, you won’t really experience what it’s like.”
Teens say volunteering also teaches them respect and compassion for others.
“You don’t get paid, but see that’s not the issue really, the issue is just helping out and you have fun while you do it.”
Vishnu’s father, Dr. Muthu Kuttappan says, “I think that’s a very encouraging step and I hope other students follow, get a first hand knowledge of what is the real world.”
Experts add that when teens volunteer they are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and are more apt to do well in school.
Hospital Volunteer Coordinator Susan Esslinger says, “Hopefully when they’re 40, 50, 60, 70 years old, they’ll still have that sense of volunteerism in giving back to the community, whether it’s at a hospital or a soup kitchen or whatever the place may be.”
Tips for Parents
While many adults are convinced of a decline in the values and morals of today’s young people, recent surveys show that many teens are giving of their time to work for causes they believe in and to help those that are less fortunate. Teens find volunteer opportunities through religious organizations, school-based programs and community agencies.
There are several reasons why teens choose to volunteer:
Compassion for people in need
Feeling they can do something for a cause in which they believe
A belief that if they help others, others will help them
In addition, some teens volunteer their time in occupational fields in which they are interested. In addition to being helpful, they are able to use their experiences in deciding on future career choices.
Teens reported benefiting from their volunteer experiences in many ways, including:
Learning to respect others
Learning to be helpful and kind
Learning to understand people who are different from them
Developing leadership skills
Becoming more patient
Gaining a better understanding of good citizenship
Exploring or learning about career options
Developing new career goals
Children learn from their parents. The survey showed teens that reported having positive role models were nearly twice as likely to volunteer as those who did not. Encourage your child to volunteer by setting an example.
Youth Service America provides additional ways to increase teen volunteerism:
Ask them to volunteer.
Encourage youth to get involved at an early age. Volunteering when young creates lifelong adult volunteers.
Encourage children and young adults to participate in community groups, faith-based organizations, student government, and school projects.
Encourage a positive self-image so that young people are able to help others and contribute to their communities.
Be a mentor in your community.
Provide young people with opportunities to take courses that include and even require community service.
References
The Higher Education Research Institute
The Independent Sector
Youth Service America
– Vishnu Kuttappan, 16 years old
For years, Vishnu wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a doctor. But after volunteering at a hospital, he’s not so sure. “It’s kind of a battle,” Vishnu says, “between me, you know, sticking to medicine—and I like medicine a lot—or trying something new.”
Vishnu is part of a new trend among teens who volunteer in order not only to help their community, but also to choose a career.
“If you want to go into medicine,” Vishnu says, “you know, you can learn facts all you want, but until you’re in a hospital, you won’t really experience what it’s like.”
Teens say volunteering also teaches them respect and compassion for others.
“You don’t get paid, but see that’s not the issue really, the issue is just helping out and you have fun while you do it.”
Vishnu’s father, Dr. Muthu Kuttappan says, “I think that’s a very encouraging step and I hope other students follow, get a first hand knowledge of what is the real world.”
Experts add that when teens volunteer they are less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and are more apt to do well in school.
Hospital Volunteer Coordinator Susan Esslinger says, “Hopefully when they’re 40, 50, 60, 70 years old, they’ll still have that sense of volunteerism in giving back to the community, whether it’s at a hospital or a soup kitchen or whatever the place may be.”
Tips for Parents
While many adults are convinced of a decline in the values and morals of today’s young people, recent surveys show that many teens are giving of their time to work for causes they believe in and to help those that are less fortunate. Teens find volunteer opportunities through religious organizations, school-based programs and community agencies.
There are several reasons why teens choose to volunteer:
Compassion for people in need
Feeling they can do something for a cause in which they believe
A belief that if they help others, others will help them
In addition, some teens volunteer their time in occupational fields in which they are interested. In addition to being helpful, they are able to use their experiences in deciding on future career choices.
Teens reported benefiting from their volunteer experiences in many ways, including:
Learning to respect others
Learning to be helpful and kind
Learning to understand people who are different from them
Developing leadership skills
Becoming more patient
Gaining a better understanding of good citizenship
Exploring or learning about career options
Developing new career goals
Children learn from their parents. The survey showed teens that reported having positive role models were nearly twice as likely to volunteer as those who did not. Encourage your child to volunteer by setting an example.
Youth Service America provides additional ways to increase teen volunteerism:
Ask them to volunteer.
Encourage youth to get involved at an early age. Volunteering when young creates lifelong adult volunteers.
Encourage children and young adults to participate in community groups, faith-based organizations, student government, and school projects.
Encourage a positive self-image so that young people are able to help others and contribute to their communities.
Be a mentor in your community.
Provide young people with opportunities to take courses that include and even require community service.
References
The Higher Education Research Institute
The Independent Sector
Youth Service America
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Pro-Ana Websites - Teens and Eating Disorders
Source: Connect with Kids
“I would never want to look at one. I think that would be really depressing to tell you the truth.”
– Mary Hardin, 14 years old
What Mary doesn’t want to see, to millions others is just a few key words and mouse clicks away.
“Who’s the skinniest and how can they stay the skinniest (or) here’s how you can have only one thing to eat all day or how you can survive on water and gum,” explains Bryna Livingston, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in eating disorders.
Livingston is referring to pro-anorexia websites – where girls are applauded for losing weight and surviving hunger – that are emerging on the Internet. On many such sites, anorexics journal thoughts and feelings and even post pictures of their thin celebrity idols.
“It’s a pseudo-support group, and the problem is you’re not really getting support,” says Livingston. “You’re feeding a competition. You’re feeding a disease, and you’re feeding what you want to hear so you don’t have to make any changes.”
For Mary Hardin, change was hard. She struggled with anorexia for three years. These websites, she says, spell danger. “I think (the websites) could have really made me worse and (made me) fall more into my eating disorder and encouraged me more,” she says. “That’s the last thing I needed was to be encouraged to be in an eating disorder.”
Experts say parents of anorexics have to show tough love, especially if their child is being enticed by these Internet sites. “I’d turn off the computer. I’d get it out of the house,” says Livingston.
Mary’s advice: “Listen to who you trust. Do you trust your family and your friends, or do you trust these people (on the Internet) that you don’t even know that are trying to give you lessons about your life?”
Luckily, Mary avoided the lure of anorexia websites when she was struggling with her illness. After years of therapy and family support, she says she is now healed. “It is possible to recover and to be a healthy girl with a happy life after it all,” she says. “There is hope to get through it.”
Tips for Parents
Many dangerous places exist in cyberspace, especially for those with body image difficulties. A quick, easy Google search can produce a long list of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites – places where those who suffer from eating disorders (ED) support each other and establish a sense of community. There are at least 100 active pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia sites. Some statistics state that several of these sites have accumulated tens of thousands of hits. Many sites treat eating disorders as lifestyle choices, rather than the illnesses they truly are. Most personify anorexia (“Ana”) and bulimia (“Mia”) into companions – individuals one can look to for guidance and strength.
The medical community classifies eating disorders as mental illnesses. Experts say girls with eating disorders focus on their bodies in a misguided bid to resolve deeper psychological issues, believing that they can fix their inner troubles by achieving a perfect outside. Eating disorder specialists say pro-anorexia sites are particularly dangerous since those suffering from the disease are usually in deep denial and cling to the illness to avoid dealing with its psychological underpinnings. Websites that glorify eating disorders make treatment increasingly difficult.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
There are an estimated 7 million females and 1 million males suffering from eating disorders in the United States.
The Harvard Eating Disorders Center estimates that 3 percent of adolescent women and girls have anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders.
Four-of-five 13-year-old girls have attempted to lose weight.
One study showed that 42 percent of first- through third-grade girls want to be thinner.
About 1 percent of females between 10 and 20 have anorexia nervosa. Between 2 percent and 3 percent of young women develop bulimia nervosa. Almost half of all anorexics will develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.
Without treatment, up to 20 percent of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, the mortality rate falls to 2 to 3 percent. The recovery rate with treatment is about 60 percent. Alas, only 10 percent of those with eating disorders receive treatment.
Pro-ED sites are just one reason why parents need to monitor children’s online behavior. In the web journals or logs (blogs) of these sites, users share near-starvation diets, offer tips for coping with hunger and detail ways to avoid the suspicions of family members. They post "thinspiration" – images from the media of their ideal celebrities, such as supermodel Kate Moss and the Olsen twins. They discuss extreme calorie restriction and weight loss through laxatives, diet pills and purging (self-induced vomiting).
Between the ages of 8 and 14, females naturally gain at least 40 pounds.
More than half of teenage girls are – or think they should be – on diets.
Websites were changing the very culture surrounding eating disorders, making them more acceptable to girls on and off the Internet.
Pro-ED sites thrive off the denial aspect of the illnesses while promoting the perceived benefits of having an eating disorder.
References
Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
Harvard Eating Disorders Center
The National Institute of Mental Health
Reuters
Socialist Voice of Women
South Carolina Department of Mental Health
“I would never want to look at one. I think that would be really depressing to tell you the truth.”
– Mary Hardin, 14 years old
What Mary doesn’t want to see, to millions others is just a few key words and mouse clicks away.
“Who’s the skinniest and how can they stay the skinniest (or) here’s how you can have only one thing to eat all day or how you can survive on water and gum,” explains Bryna Livingston, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in eating disorders.
Livingston is referring to pro-anorexia websites – where girls are applauded for losing weight and surviving hunger – that are emerging on the Internet. On many such sites, anorexics journal thoughts and feelings and even post pictures of their thin celebrity idols.
“It’s a pseudo-support group, and the problem is you’re not really getting support,” says Livingston. “You’re feeding a competition. You’re feeding a disease, and you’re feeding what you want to hear so you don’t have to make any changes.”
For Mary Hardin, change was hard. She struggled with anorexia for three years. These websites, she says, spell danger. “I think (the websites) could have really made me worse and (made me) fall more into my eating disorder and encouraged me more,” she says. “That’s the last thing I needed was to be encouraged to be in an eating disorder.”
Experts say parents of anorexics have to show tough love, especially if their child is being enticed by these Internet sites. “I’d turn off the computer. I’d get it out of the house,” says Livingston.
Mary’s advice: “Listen to who you trust. Do you trust your family and your friends, or do you trust these people (on the Internet) that you don’t even know that are trying to give you lessons about your life?”
Luckily, Mary avoided the lure of anorexia websites when she was struggling with her illness. After years of therapy and family support, she says she is now healed. “It is possible to recover and to be a healthy girl with a happy life after it all,” she says. “There is hope to get through it.”
Tips for Parents
Many dangerous places exist in cyberspace, especially for those with body image difficulties. A quick, easy Google search can produce a long list of pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia websites – places where those who suffer from eating disorders (ED) support each other and establish a sense of community. There are at least 100 active pro-anorexia and pro-bulimia sites. Some statistics state that several of these sites have accumulated tens of thousands of hits. Many sites treat eating disorders as lifestyle choices, rather than the illnesses they truly are. Most personify anorexia (“Ana”) and bulimia (“Mia”) into companions – individuals one can look to for guidance and strength.
The medical community classifies eating disorders as mental illnesses. Experts say girls with eating disorders focus on their bodies in a misguided bid to resolve deeper psychological issues, believing that they can fix their inner troubles by achieving a perfect outside. Eating disorder specialists say pro-anorexia sites are particularly dangerous since those suffering from the disease are usually in deep denial and cling to the illness to avoid dealing with its psychological underpinnings. Websites that glorify eating disorders make treatment increasingly difficult.
Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
There are an estimated 7 million females and 1 million males suffering from eating disorders in the United States.
The Harvard Eating Disorders Center estimates that 3 percent of adolescent women and girls have anorexia, bulimia or binge-eating disorders.
Four-of-five 13-year-old girls have attempted to lose weight.
One study showed that 42 percent of first- through third-grade girls want to be thinner.
About 1 percent of females between 10 and 20 have anorexia nervosa. Between 2 percent and 3 percent of young women develop bulimia nervosa. Almost half of all anorexics will develop bulimia or bulimic patterns.
Without treatment, up to 20 percent of people with serious eating disorders die. With treatment, the mortality rate falls to 2 to 3 percent. The recovery rate with treatment is about 60 percent. Alas, only 10 percent of those with eating disorders receive treatment.
Pro-ED sites are just one reason why parents need to monitor children’s online behavior. In the web journals or logs (blogs) of these sites, users share near-starvation diets, offer tips for coping with hunger and detail ways to avoid the suspicions of family members. They post "thinspiration" – images from the media of their ideal celebrities, such as supermodel Kate Moss and the Olsen twins. They discuss extreme calorie restriction and weight loss through laxatives, diet pills and purging (self-induced vomiting).
Between the ages of 8 and 14, females naturally gain at least 40 pounds.
More than half of teenage girls are – or think they should be – on diets.
Websites were changing the very culture surrounding eating disorders, making them more acceptable to girls on and off the Internet.
Pro-ED sites thrive off the denial aspect of the illnesses while promoting the perceived benefits of having an eating disorder.
References
Anorexia Nervosa and Related Eating Disorders, Inc.
Harvard Eating Disorders Center
The National Institute of Mental Health
Reuters
Socialist Voice of Women
South Carolina Department of Mental Health
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Sue Scheff - Profanity on TV
Source: Connect with Kids
“If you’re a teenage boy and you’re hanging with a bunch of your peers and you get the reputation as the guy whose offended by a cuss word, you will be teased unmercifully.”
– Robert Kleemeier, Ph.D., Psychologist
A fight at the batting cage and one kid expresses his anger with profanity: “shut the f..k up … you fat...”
If you think words like that are shocking to kids- think again. Cussing is common in their conversations.
“I say s..t, I say damn, but when I get mad I say f..k,” says 14-year-old MaryLou.
15-year-old Bobby says, “F..k, damn, b..ch.”
And 11-year-old Sara says “S..t,” but only “when something happens.”
In fact, some experts say in some kids social circles swearing is not just accepted, but expected. “If you’re a teenage boy and you’re hanging with a bunch of your peers and you get the reputation as the guy who’s offended by a cuss word, you will be teased unmercifully,” explains psychologist Dr. Robert Kleemeier.
Bobby agrees, “I think it’s just a manlier way to express yourself.”
Experts estimate that some kids use profanity upwards of 80 times a day. They say it’s, in part, due to television.
In fact, according to the Parents Television Council, the use of swear words on T-V has nearly doubled in the past ten years.
But, experts say, pop culture aside, it’s what parents teach about swearing that matters most.
“They’re gonna hear the words anyway,” Kleemeier says, “but I think the fewer times they hear it, the more they see you deal with frustrations without cursing, the better off they’re gonna be.”
And he says parents need to be consistent, clear and creative about what language is right and wrong. “If they’re angry, give them some words to express their anger, if they’re feeling hurt, give them some words to express their hurt that are acceptable to you family.”
Tips for Parents
Adults and kids have practiced cursing and swearing for years, and in most places, you can let it all out without being strong-armed by the law. However, some places will enforce legal action as a way to keep bad language under control. In fact, a Michigan man was convicted under an 1897 statute for public swearing in the hearing distance of children after his canoe capsized.
For years, the federal government has done its part in keeping the stench of foul words out of the airwaves. In 1978, the U.S. Supreme Court addressed the matter of certain curse words being broadcast on the radio. The case was brought forth by the Pacifica Foundation, who received a letter of reprimand for airing comedian George Carlin’s “Filthy Words” on its station, WBAI. In the monologue, Carlin states seven deadly words unacceptable for broadcast media. The Supreme Court established the rule of “pervasiveness,” meaning that because of the media’s broad reach, it would be difficult to keep children from hearing the content and allows for government regulations.
When kids curse, most adults look at them in shock, yet cursing is such a common part of everyday language. According to Dr. Timothy Jay, a professor and author of Cursing in America, cursing has its merits. Jay says its use is a way to express certain feelings, like frustration and anger, without acting out physically.
Why then do we look in dismay at children who curse? Probably because of a little concept called “manners.” There are certain behaviors that “civilized” people don’t engage in, or if they do, it’s only in certain environments. Usually when small kids start to use curse words, they don’t even know what they are saying and are probably just repeating what they heard an older person say. If they are told not to say certain words and are not exposed to those words, they usually will stop.
Older children and teens, on the other hand, have a clearer idea of what curse words mean and exactly how to use them. Many times, teens go through stages of rebelliousness and are fascinated with behaviors that are “taboo.” Using curse words is just one of those behaviors, and, over time, most of them usually learn to watch their language, too.
References
Parents Television Council
U.S. Supreme Court
“If you’re a teenage boy and you’re hanging with a bunch of your peers and you get the reputation as the guy whose offended by a cuss word, you will be teased unmercifully.”
– Robert Kleemeier, Ph.D., Psychologist
A fight at the batting cage and one kid expresses his anger with profanity: “shut the f..k up … you fat...”
If you think words like that are shocking to kids- think again. Cussing is common in their conversations.
“I say s..t, I say damn, but when I get mad I say f..k,” says 14-year-old MaryLou.
15-year-old Bobby says, “F..k, damn, b..ch.”
And 11-year-old Sara says “S..t,” but only “when something happens.”
In fact, some experts say in some kids social circles swearing is not just accepted, but expected. “If you’re a teenage boy and you’re hanging with a bunch of your peers and you get the reputation as the guy who’s offended by a cuss word, you will be teased unmercifully,” explains psychologist Dr. Robert Kleemeier.
Bobby agrees, “I think it’s just a manlier way to express yourself.”
Experts estimate that some kids use profanity upwards of 80 times a day. They say it’s, in part, due to television.
In fact, according to the Parents Television Council, the use of swear words on T-V has nearly doubled in the past ten years.
But, experts say, pop culture aside, it’s what parents teach about swearing that matters most.
“They’re gonna hear the words anyway,” Kleemeier says, “but I think the fewer times they hear it, the more they see you deal with frustrations without cursing, the better off they’re gonna be.”
And he says parents need to be consistent, clear and creative about what language is right and wrong. “If they’re angry, give them some words to express their anger, if they’re feeling hurt, give them some words to express their hurt that are acceptable to you family.”
Tips for Parents
Adults and kids have practiced cursing and swearing for years, and in most places, you can let it all out without being strong-armed by the law. However, some places will enforce legal action as a way to keep bad language under control. In fact, a Michigan man was convicted under an 1897 statute for public swearing in the hearing distance of children after his canoe capsized.
For years, the federal government has done its part in keeping the stench of foul words out of the airwaves. In 1978, the U.S. Supreme Court addressed the matter of certain curse words being broadcast on the radio. The case was brought forth by the Pacifica Foundation, who received a letter of reprimand for airing comedian George Carlin’s “Filthy Words” on its station, WBAI. In the monologue, Carlin states seven deadly words unacceptable for broadcast media. The Supreme Court established the rule of “pervasiveness,” meaning that because of the media’s broad reach, it would be difficult to keep children from hearing the content and allows for government regulations.
When kids curse, most adults look at them in shock, yet cursing is such a common part of everyday language. According to Dr. Timothy Jay, a professor and author of Cursing in America, cursing has its merits. Jay says its use is a way to express certain feelings, like frustration and anger, without acting out physically.
Why then do we look in dismay at children who curse? Probably because of a little concept called “manners.” There are certain behaviors that “civilized” people don’t engage in, or if they do, it’s only in certain environments. Usually when small kids start to use curse words, they don’t even know what they are saying and are probably just repeating what they heard an older person say. If they are told not to say certain words and are not exposed to those words, they usually will stop.
Older children and teens, on the other hand, have a clearer idea of what curse words mean and exactly how to use them. Many times, teens go through stages of rebelliousness and are fascinated with behaviors that are “taboo.” Using curse words is just one of those behaviors, and, over time, most of them usually learn to watch their language, too.
References
Parents Television Council
U.S. Supreme Court
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Sue Scheff: The Value of the Internet and Parenting
As usual, Connect with Kids offers valuable articles for parents. This week they touch on the critical subject of our kids and the Internet. I know first hand the pros and cons of Cyberspace, however the challenge is getting our children to understand how important it is to protect yourself online and know that the Internet has a vast amount of great information but like with many things in life, you need to be aware of the pitfalls that may come with it.
Source Connect with Kids
“I wasn’t like other kids, you know, they had the Internet at home and I didn’t, so I felt like I was being deprived of something.”
– Ashley, 16 years old
Sixteen-year-old Ashley has always been a good student, but two years ago, she became a better student.
“In my history class, where we had to do a lot of research, I went from a B to an A,” she says.
What made the difference? Ashley believes it was her increased use of the Internet. She always had Web access at school but not at home.
“I wasn’t like other kids, you know, they had the Internet at home and I didn’t, so I felt like I was being deprived of something,” Ashley says.
Researchers, funded by the MacArthur Foundation, observed over 800 teens and their parents. The study found that, sure enough, parents think that spending hours online is unproductive for kids. But, the study also found that online teenagers are learning- socially, technologically … and academically.
“They are spending more time looking at text, so certainly they are going to be exposed to more reading opportunities,“ says Christine Colborne, an English teacher.
“You have to read through the websites,” Ashley says. “You have to read through the links and everything like that. So it does improve reading skills. And I think it improves vocabulary.”
But some experts warn parents to be cautious. Simply having online access is not a guarantee your child is learning.
“Many students are on the Internet simply in chat rooms. They are on the Internet looking up graphical material. They are looking up websites that are not text intensive where they are purchasing things or they are looking up pictures or downloading pictures,” Colborne says.
Ashley’s parents have set up filters on her computer that limit her access to inappropriate sites. Still, she says having the Internet at her fingertips at school and at home has opened a world of opportunities.
“I’m able to meet new friends, new people … to explore new subjects that I never knew about,” she says.
Tips for Parents
Another study by Michigan State University found that contrary to popular belief, spending time surfing the Internet can actually be beneficial to children. The study, which analyzed the Internet use of 120 parents and 140 children, found no negative effect on users’ social involvement or psychological well-being. In fact, researchers say that Internet use actually increased the children’s grade-point averages and standardized test scores.
As a parent, you are faced with the monumental task of monitoring the activities of your child in a world of virtually unlimited sources of information. One of the most expansive, confusing and frightening sources of information available to children today is the Internet.
You can take a number of steps to communicate the appropriate use of the Internet and other technologies to your child. The Cyber Citizen Partnership offers these tips for setting Internet limits for your child:
Be aware of your child’s computer skills and interests. Remember that it takes only a little knowledge to wreak a lot of havoc. Often, kids will develop technical skills and look for ways to challenge themselves.
Focus your child’s interests. If you recognize that your child is interested in exploring computer technology, you can reinforce positive behavior and encourage positive applications of this interest. Ideas include encouraging emailing with friends and family to become comfortable with appropriate and respectful online communication; recommending that your child adopt a position of responsibility in school as a computer monitor to assist classmates with computer use; fostering creative computer use by developing a personal or family website; or suggesting participation in school or community programs that teach in-depth technological skills or offer challenging technical opportunities.
Explore the Internet together. Ask your child to teach you about the Internet, visit educational sites, email questions and participate in online discussions together.
Take advantage of teachable moments. When events or activities arise that provide the right time and place to do so, take advantage of these moments to help your child understand the issues involved in good cyber citizenship. For example, take time to read news articles about hacking or cyber crime incidents to your child and discuss the impact it has had on those involved. Use personal situations to frame the context of these discussions (e.g., ask your child how cyber crimes or irresponsible online behavior could affect friends and family). Address cyber ethics messages as your child conducts research online or shares his experiences on computers at school.
References
Cyber Citizen Partnership
Michigan State University
University of California-Irvine
Source Connect with Kids
“I wasn’t like other kids, you know, they had the Internet at home and I didn’t, so I felt like I was being deprived of something.”
– Ashley, 16 years old
Sixteen-year-old Ashley has always been a good student, but two years ago, she became a better student.
“In my history class, where we had to do a lot of research, I went from a B to an A,” she says.
What made the difference? Ashley believes it was her increased use of the Internet. She always had Web access at school but not at home.
“I wasn’t like other kids, you know, they had the Internet at home and I didn’t, so I felt like I was being deprived of something,” Ashley says.
Researchers, funded by the MacArthur Foundation, observed over 800 teens and their parents. The study found that, sure enough, parents think that spending hours online is unproductive for kids. But, the study also found that online teenagers are learning- socially, technologically … and academically.
“They are spending more time looking at text, so certainly they are going to be exposed to more reading opportunities,“ says Christine Colborne, an English teacher.
“You have to read through the websites,” Ashley says. “You have to read through the links and everything like that. So it does improve reading skills. And I think it improves vocabulary.”
But some experts warn parents to be cautious. Simply having online access is not a guarantee your child is learning.
“Many students are on the Internet simply in chat rooms. They are on the Internet looking up graphical material. They are looking up websites that are not text intensive where they are purchasing things or they are looking up pictures or downloading pictures,” Colborne says.
Ashley’s parents have set up filters on her computer that limit her access to inappropriate sites. Still, she says having the Internet at her fingertips at school and at home has opened a world of opportunities.
“I’m able to meet new friends, new people … to explore new subjects that I never knew about,” she says.
Tips for Parents
Another study by Michigan State University found that contrary to popular belief, spending time surfing the Internet can actually be beneficial to children. The study, which analyzed the Internet use of 120 parents and 140 children, found no negative effect on users’ social involvement or psychological well-being. In fact, researchers say that Internet use actually increased the children’s grade-point averages and standardized test scores.
As a parent, you are faced with the monumental task of monitoring the activities of your child in a world of virtually unlimited sources of information. One of the most expansive, confusing and frightening sources of information available to children today is the Internet.
You can take a number of steps to communicate the appropriate use of the Internet and other technologies to your child. The Cyber Citizen Partnership offers these tips for setting Internet limits for your child:
Be aware of your child’s computer skills and interests. Remember that it takes only a little knowledge to wreak a lot of havoc. Often, kids will develop technical skills and look for ways to challenge themselves.
Focus your child’s interests. If you recognize that your child is interested in exploring computer technology, you can reinforce positive behavior and encourage positive applications of this interest. Ideas include encouraging emailing with friends and family to become comfortable with appropriate and respectful online communication; recommending that your child adopt a position of responsibility in school as a computer monitor to assist classmates with computer use; fostering creative computer use by developing a personal or family website; or suggesting participation in school or community programs that teach in-depth technological skills or offer challenging technical opportunities.
Explore the Internet together. Ask your child to teach you about the Internet, visit educational sites, email questions and participate in online discussions together.
Take advantage of teachable moments. When events or activities arise that provide the right time and place to do so, take advantage of these moments to help your child understand the issues involved in good cyber citizenship. For example, take time to read news articles about hacking or cyber crime incidents to your child and discuss the impact it has had on those involved. Use personal situations to frame the context of these discussions (e.g., ask your child how cyber crimes or irresponsible online behavior could affect friends and family). Address cyber ethics messages as your child conducts research online or shares his experiences on computers at school.
References
Cyber Citizen Partnership
Michigan State University
University of California-Irvine
Friday, December 5, 2008
Parent Training by Connect with Kids
“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting, then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because … acting out is really a symptom usually of what’s happening in the home.”
– Alesia Brooks, area director for Community Solutions, Inc.
Fighting, stealing, lying, cruelty- some psychologists call all of this a “conduct disorder” and according to the American Academy of Adolescent Psychiatry, one in 10 teen girls suffers from the disorder. What’s more, some experts say many of these girls share one thing in common: parents who resist being a parent.
“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting, then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because … acting out is really a symptom usually of what’s happening in the home.”
-- Alesia Brooks, area director for Community Solutions, Inc.
One approach to treating violent teens is gaining popularity across the country. It’s called multi-systemic therapy. The goal is to change the teen – by starting with the parent.
Last year, during a fight with her older sister, 16-year-old Angela pulled a knife. Angela says, “I wasn’t going to hurt her or nothing. I guess I was just threatening her with it.”
Angela was arrested and a judge recommended multi-systemic therapy. A therapist came to the house for five months. But instead of counseling Angela, he focused on her mom.
“Mom had no rules, so Angela didn’t know left from right, right from wrong,” says Alesia Brooks, an area director of home-based services for Community Solutions, Inc., a licensed provider of multi-systemic therapy. “She just did whatever she wanted to do. And if there was a conflict, then the conflict was managed through yelling and screaming.”
First, the counselor helped Angela’s mom Cecilia write a list of rules. Cecilia says, “Well, it was kind of, I had to get used to it myself, to enforcing the rules. And I noticed [having] the rules was much better.”
“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting,” says Brooks, “then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because the children acting out is really a symptom, usually of what’s happening in the home.”
“I was just kind of used to arguing,” adds Angela, “like kind of like how a child would throw a tantrum and get what they want. That’s kind of like how I was doing it when I was 13, 14, 15. And then when [the therapist] came in, he kind of made it that I couldn’t do it no more!”
The idea? Change the parent – and you will change the child.
Brooks says, “We don’t want to be the agent for change because we’re gone, we are not going to be there for the lifetime, the parent will be.”
Cecilia says the therapist helped her listen more, and yell less. “He taught me to communicate, calm down. We talk and try to solve the problem.”
Tips for Parents
– Alesia Brooks, area director for Community Solutions, Inc.
Fighting, stealing, lying, cruelty- some psychologists call all of this a “conduct disorder” and according to the American Academy of Adolescent Psychiatry, one in 10 teen girls suffers from the disorder. What’s more, some experts say many of these girls share one thing in common: parents who resist being a parent.
“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting, then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because … acting out is really a symptom usually of what’s happening in the home.”
-- Alesia Brooks, area director for Community Solutions, Inc.
One approach to treating violent teens is gaining popularity across the country. It’s called multi-systemic therapy. The goal is to change the teen – by starting with the parent.
Last year, during a fight with her older sister, 16-year-old Angela pulled a knife. Angela says, “I wasn’t going to hurt her or nothing. I guess I was just threatening her with it.”
Angela was arrested and a judge recommended multi-systemic therapy. A therapist came to the house for five months. But instead of counseling Angela, he focused on her mom.
“Mom had no rules, so Angela didn’t know left from right, right from wrong,” says Alesia Brooks, an area director of home-based services for Community Solutions, Inc., a licensed provider of multi-systemic therapy. “She just did whatever she wanted to do. And if there was a conflict, then the conflict was managed through yelling and screaming.”
First, the counselor helped Angela’s mom Cecilia write a list of rules. Cecilia says, “Well, it was kind of, I had to get used to it myself, to enforcing the rules. And I noticed [having] the rules was much better.”
“If we can help parents do a better job at parenting,” says Brooks, “then you’ll see less and less of children acting out because the children acting out is really a symptom, usually of what’s happening in the home.”
“I was just kind of used to arguing,” adds Angela, “like kind of like how a child would throw a tantrum and get what they want. That’s kind of like how I was doing it when I was 13, 14, 15. And then when [the therapist] came in, he kind of made it that I couldn’t do it no more!”
The idea? Change the parent – and you will change the child.
Brooks says, “We don’t want to be the agent for change because we’re gone, we are not going to be there for the lifetime, the parent will be.”
Cecilia says the therapist helped her listen more, and yell less. “He taught me to communicate, calm down. We talk and try to solve the problem.”
Tips for Parents
When parents run into problems with a cranky toddler or a difficult teen, they now have a new place to turn for help – a parent coach. According to the Parent Coaching Institute, these individuals are trained with a broad background of education and experiences. Making themselves available by phone, they ask key questions, provide information and offer specific suggestions to help parents address challenges and develop new strategies for dealing with problems at home.
How do you know if parenting coaching is right for your family? Heritage Communications, which offers support and coaching services to families, cites the following types of parents who could benefit from hiring a parent coach:
Parents of older adopted children
Parents of challenging children
Parents dealing with adoption adjustment issues
Parents of children with RAD (reactive attachment disorder)
Parents looking for new parenting techniques to use with their children
Parents who don’t have a support system that truly understands the issues
Parents feeling overwhelmed
Parents taking their children to therapy but in need of parent support
Power struggles with teens are not uncommon. Whether or not you have a parent coach for support, as a parent, it is your responsibility to diffuse the situation in a calm manner. Jane Nelson, author of Positive Discipline, offers parents the following advice for reducing power struggles within the home:
After realizing you may be actually promoting the power struggles with your teen, you can decide to not fight and to not give in. Disengage from the fight and try to remain emotionally cool and calm. Without anger, the power struggle will diminish because your teen will have no one to fight against.
Give up the concept that you can make your teen do anything. Instead, inspire, teach, influence, lead, guide, motivate, stimulate and encourage your teen to positive, cooperative behavior. Catch him or her being good!
When disengaging, you need to act, not speak. For example, a temper tantrum becomes ineffective and silly if you withdraw to the other room – with slamming of doors.
Later, during a cooled-down period, you can talk about what you want from your teen. You can say, in a loving, accepting tone, “Son, after school, would you prefer to do your homework in the office or at the kitchen table?” If your teen feels personal power through choices, then he or she does not feel the need for power through conflict.
References
Community Solutions, Inc.
Heritage Communications
Multisystemic Therapy Services
Parent Coaching Institute
Positive Discipline
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Sue Scheff: Teen Court
Source: Connect with Kids
“[I]t feels like at times you have more … power in the school system and more of a chance to make a decision for others and help make decisions.”
– Anthony Mayson, 14 years old
“Can you all please stand and raise your right hand,” the bailiff says as he administers the oath to the eight jurors about to hear a case.
Meanwhile, in another room, the “attorneys” prepare their cases for the prosecution and the defense while the judge prepares to enter the courtroom.
There’s only one unusual thing about everyone involved in this court proceeding: All of the participants are high school students. However, the cases they handle are real.
Eight years ago, about 80 youth court programs existed across the country. Today, that number has increased to more than a thousand.
Fourteen-year-old Anthony Mayson says participating in the teen court gives him – and the other students involved – a real feeling of empowerment.
“It feels good. And it feels like at times you have more … power in the school system and more of a chance to make a decision for others and help make decisions,” Anthony says. “[It gives you a chance to] not only be a younger person but be able to be at the same level as an adult.”
Most teen courts handle minor discipline problems ranging from insubordination to first-offense truancy. Teen courts do have power. The sentences are limited to written apologies or hours of community service, but the indictment, the defense, the prosecution and the verdict are handled entirely by the students.
John De Caro, a teen court coordinator, says the youth court helps demystify the legal process for teens and makes them feel like they’re part of the system.
“[It helps break] down the barrier between the “us” and “them” that usually exists,” De Caro says. “And this way, it’s sort of in their own hands and they feel as though they have an actual stake in the system.”
Experts say that parents should encourage their children to participate in a teen court in their community or in their school. If the community doesn’t have a youth court, families should help start one in order to provide their children with the opportunity to learn about responsibility and the consequences of risky behavior.
“It’s no longer something that they just view on television or hear about on the news; it’s actually [something] that they can get a feel for themselves,” says faculty adviser Charlotte Brown.
Tips for Parents
– Anthony Mayson, 14 years old
“Can you all please stand and raise your right hand,” the bailiff says as he administers the oath to the eight jurors about to hear a case.
Meanwhile, in another room, the “attorneys” prepare their cases for the prosecution and the defense while the judge prepares to enter the courtroom.
There’s only one unusual thing about everyone involved in this court proceeding: All of the participants are high school students. However, the cases they handle are real.
Eight years ago, about 80 youth court programs existed across the country. Today, that number has increased to more than a thousand.
Fourteen-year-old Anthony Mayson says participating in the teen court gives him – and the other students involved – a real feeling of empowerment.
“It feels good. And it feels like at times you have more … power in the school system and more of a chance to make a decision for others and help make decisions,” Anthony says. “[It gives you a chance to] not only be a younger person but be able to be at the same level as an adult.”
Most teen courts handle minor discipline problems ranging from insubordination to first-offense truancy. Teen courts do have power. The sentences are limited to written apologies or hours of community service, but the indictment, the defense, the prosecution and the verdict are handled entirely by the students.
John De Caro, a teen court coordinator, says the youth court helps demystify the legal process for teens and makes them feel like they’re part of the system.
“[It helps break] down the barrier between the “us” and “them” that usually exists,” De Caro says. “And this way, it’s sort of in their own hands and they feel as though they have an actual stake in the system.”
Experts say that parents should encourage their children to participate in a teen court in their community or in their school. If the community doesn’t have a youth court, families should help start one in order to provide their children with the opportunity to learn about responsibility and the consequences of risky behavior.
“It’s no longer something that they just view on television or hear about on the news; it’s actually [something] that they can get a feel for themselves,” says faculty adviser Charlotte Brown.
Tips for Parents
Teen courts are real elements of the judicial system that are run by and for young people. In a teen court, all or most of the major players in the courtroom are teens: the lawyers, bailiffs, defendants, jurors, prosecutor, defense attorney and even the judge. A teen court either sets the sentence for teens who have pleaded guilty or tries the case of teens who – with parental approval – have agreed to its jurisdiction.
How many teen courts are there in the United States? What began as just a handful of programs in the 1960s has risen to over 1,000 teen courts in operation, according to the U.S. Justice Department.
The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) says that teen courts are generally used for younger juveniles (ages 10 to 15), those with no prior arrest records and those charged with less serious violations, including the following:
Shoplifting
Vandalism
Illegal alcohol possession
Criminal or malicious mischief
Disorderly conduct
Traffic violations
The OJJDP says that teen courts impose the following types of sentences:
Paying restitution (monetary or in kind)
Attending educational classes
Writing apology letters
Writing essays
Serving jury duty on subsequent cases
According to the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC), while these courts may vary in composition, responsibilities and operation from town to town, their goal remains the same: to provide teens with an opportunity to take an active role in addressing the problem of juvenile crime within their communities.
Teen courts take advantage of two of the most powerful forces in the life of an adolescent – the desire for peer approval and the reaction to peer pressure. Teens sometimes respond better to their peers than to adult authority figures. Youth courts can be a potentially effective alternative to traditional juvenile courts staffed with paid professionals, such as lawyers, judges and probation officers.
The U.S. Justice Department says that teen courts offer at least four potential benefits:
Accountability: Teen courts may help to ensure that young offenders are held accountable for their illegal behavior, even when their offenses are relatively minor and would not likely result in sanctions from the traditional juvenile justice system.
Timeliness: An effective teen court can move young offenders from arrest to sanctions within a matter of days instead of months that may pass with traditional juvenile courts.
Cost savings: Teen courts usually depend heavily on youth and adult volunteers, with relatively little cost to the community. The average annual cost for operating a teen court is $32,822, according to the National Youth Court Center.
Community cohesion: A well-structured and expansive teen court program can affect the entire community by increasing public appreciation of the legal system, enhancing community-court relationships, encouraging greater respect for the law among teens and promoting volunteerism among both adults and teens.
References
National Crime Prevention Council
U.S. Department of Justice
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sue Scheff: Internet Addiction
Source: Connect with Kids
“You treat [Internet addiction] by improving the relationships in the person’s life, so that they have another choice of something that is more fulfilling for their heart and their soul to do.”
– Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C., Psychotherapist
China is expected to become the first country in the world to officially classify internet addiction as a mental disorder. And here at home, many psychologists say Internet addiction is just as real as an addiction to drugs or alcohol or gambling or anything else.
“You treat [Internet addiction] by improving the relationships in the person’s life, so that they have another choice of something that is more fulfilling for their heart and their soul to do.”
-Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C., Psychotherapist
Just ask any teen - and many will say they can’t live without the Internet.
“I’d say out of any given week it probably takes up more than half of my time,” says Adam Schindler, a student at the Savannah College of Art and Design.
“It’s a big part of my life,” says 21-year-old Chris Skinner. “And even when we have problems at home, with an internet connection. It’s like the whole world has crumbled, sadly enough.”
Internet addiction. It’s become so common the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto has started a new treatment program for teens.
Experts say signs that your child might be in trouble include isolation, giving up activities he or she used to enjoy and irritability.
”You come in and you are just asking what do you want for dinner, and you get snapped at because you have interrupted their virtual world,” explains psychotherapist Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C.
So what should parents do if their child is substituting a virtual world for the real one?
“How about working on the relationship that you have with your children, so that it would be more interesting to them to talk to you, then it would be to be on the computer,” suggests Reece.
He says along with setting limits on screen time, tell them why you’re concerned. “And then you can bring up the conversation of, ‘you know I noticed you haven’t been playing with Billy very much lately, you know what happened there? And then listen.”
“You have to go outside and make that initial approach sometimes,” says 21-year-old Jessica Criss. “And sometimes it’s hard, but it ends up being more fun then getting no new messages for the day.”
Tips for Parents
For many parents, video games are likely to be low on the list of addiction risks for their children. But as the video industry continues to grow, video game addiction is a problem being faced by more and more parents. This is especially true as the landscape of the video-game industry continues to change. Gone are the days of Super Mario and Donkey Kong. In their places are dark, adult-themed games like Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat.
Why has the landscape of the video-game industry undergone such drastic change? According to the Entertainment Software Association, players 18 and older now make up more than 50 percent of the market. And although more games with fast cars and gun-toting villains are being created for a mature audience, these same games also appeal to younger teens. In fact, a recent study conducted by the Federal Trade Commission found that out of 118 electronic games with a mature rating for violence, 70 percent of them actually targeted children under 17. In addition, the marketing plans for 51 percent of these games expressly included children under 17 in the target audience.
One of the reasons addiction to video games is a reality is because it isn’t viewed as a serious addiction risk by parents. And while video games in and of themselves are not bad, excessive and unobserved game playing can lead to problems. According to experts at the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF), there are steps you can take to lessen the likelihood of your child getting addicted to video games. Consider the following:
Limit game playing time. (Recommended: No more than one hour per day.)
Play with your child to become familiar with the games.
Provide alternative ways for your child to spend time.
Require that homework and jobs be done first; use video game playing as a reward.
Do not put video game set in a child’s room where he/she can shut the door and isolate himself/herself.
Talk about the content of the games.
– Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C., Psychotherapist
China is expected to become the first country in the world to officially classify internet addiction as a mental disorder. And here at home, many psychologists say Internet addiction is just as real as an addiction to drugs or alcohol or gambling or anything else.
“You treat [Internet addiction] by improving the relationships in the person’s life, so that they have another choice of something that is more fulfilling for their heart and their soul to do.”
-Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C., Psychotherapist
Just ask any teen - and many will say they can’t live without the Internet.
“I’d say out of any given week it probably takes up more than half of my time,” says Adam Schindler, a student at the Savannah College of Art and Design.
“It’s a big part of my life,” says 21-year-old Chris Skinner. “And even when we have problems at home, with an internet connection. It’s like the whole world has crumbled, sadly enough.”
Internet addiction. It’s become so common the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto has started a new treatment program for teens.
Experts say signs that your child might be in trouble include isolation, giving up activities he or she used to enjoy and irritability.
”You come in and you are just asking what do you want for dinner, and you get snapped at because you have interrupted their virtual world,” explains psychotherapist Eddie Reece, M.S., L.P.C.
So what should parents do if their child is substituting a virtual world for the real one?
“How about working on the relationship that you have with your children, so that it would be more interesting to them to talk to you, then it would be to be on the computer,” suggests Reece.
He says along with setting limits on screen time, tell them why you’re concerned. “And then you can bring up the conversation of, ‘you know I noticed you haven’t been playing with Billy very much lately, you know what happened there? And then listen.”
“You have to go outside and make that initial approach sometimes,” says 21-year-old Jessica Criss. “And sometimes it’s hard, but it ends up being more fun then getting no new messages for the day.”
Tips for Parents
For many parents, video games are likely to be low on the list of addiction risks for their children. But as the video industry continues to grow, video game addiction is a problem being faced by more and more parents. This is especially true as the landscape of the video-game industry continues to change. Gone are the days of Super Mario and Donkey Kong. In their places are dark, adult-themed games like Grand Theft Auto and Mortal Kombat.
Why has the landscape of the video-game industry undergone such drastic change? According to the Entertainment Software Association, players 18 and older now make up more than 50 percent of the market. And although more games with fast cars and gun-toting villains are being created for a mature audience, these same games also appeal to younger teens. In fact, a recent study conducted by the Federal Trade Commission found that out of 118 electronic games with a mature rating for violence, 70 percent of them actually targeted children under 17. In addition, the marketing plans for 51 percent of these games expressly included children under 17 in the target audience.
One of the reasons addiction to video games is a reality is because it isn’t viewed as a serious addiction risk by parents. And while video games in and of themselves are not bad, excessive and unobserved game playing can lead to problems. According to experts at the National Institute on Media and the Family (NIMF), there are steps you can take to lessen the likelihood of your child getting addicted to video games. Consider the following:
Limit game playing time. (Recommended: No more than one hour per day.)
Play with your child to become familiar with the games.
Provide alternative ways for your child to spend time.
Require that homework and jobs be done first; use video game playing as a reward.
Do not put video game set in a child’s room where he/she can shut the door and isolate himself/herself.
Talk about the content of the games.
Ask your video store to require parental approval before a violently rated video game can be rented by children.
When buying video games for your child, it is important to purchase games targeted at his/her audience. The Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) rates every video and computer game for age appropriateness (located on the front of the packaging) and, when appropriate, labels games with content descriptions. The ESRB’s current rating standard is as follows:
EC – Early Childhood (3 and older)
E – Everyone (6 and older)
E10+ – Everyone (10 and older)
T – Teens (13 and older)
M – Mature audiences (17 and older)
AO – Adults Only
RP – Ratings Pending
There are also other considerations besides the rating to take into account when deciding whether to purchase a video game for your child. Children Now, a research and action organization, offers these additional tips for helping you to choose the right video games for your child:
Know your child. Different children handle situations differently. Regardless of age, if your child becomes aggressive or unsettled after playing violent video games, don’t buy games with violence in them. Likewise, if your child likes playing games with characters that look like him/her, purchase games with characters that fit the bill.
Read more than the ratings. While the ESRB ratings can be helpful, they do not tell the whole story. Some features that you may consider violent or sexual may not be labeled as such by the ESRB. In addition, the ESRB does not rate games for the positive inclusion of females. The language on the packaging may give you a better idea of the amount and significance of violence and sexuality and the presence of gender and racial diversity or stereotypes in the game.
Go online. The ESRB website provides game ratings as well as definitions of the rating system. In addition, you can visit game maker and distributor websites to learn more about the contents of a game. Some have reviews that will provide even more information about the game.
Rent before you buy. Many video rental stores also rent video games and consoles. Take a trial run before you purchase a game.
Talk to other parents. Find out which games other parents like and dislike, as well as which games they let your child play when he/she visits their house. This is a good way to learn about the games that your child enjoys and those that other parents approve of, and to let other parents know which games you do not want your child playing.
Play the games with your child. Know what your child is being exposed to and how he/she reacts to different features in the games.
Talk about what you see. If your child discovers material that he/she finds disturbing or that you find inappropriate, talk about it. This is a great opportunity to let your child know what your values are as well as to help him/her deal with images that may be troubling.
Set limits. If you are worried that your child spends too much time playing video games, limit the amount of time or specify the times of day that video games can be played.
Put the games in a public space. Just as with the Internet, keep your game consoles and computers in public family space so that you can be aware of the material your child is viewing.
Contact the game makers. If you find material that you think is offensive or inappropriate, let the people who make and sell the games know about it. Likewise, let game makers know if you think that a game provides healthy messages or images. They do care what you think!
References
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychological Association
Children Now
Entertainment Software Association
Entertainment Software Rating Board
Federal Trade Commission
National Alliance on Mental Illness
National Institute on Media and the Family
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Sex in the Media
Source: Connect with Kids
“Every TV show now has like at least one character who is like a slut.”
– Katie Seewald, 14 years old
Parents have heard a thousand times that sex is all over the media. But is the sheer volume of sexual images harming our children? Or is it something else?
A recent movie, “A Guy Thing,” begins with a bachelor (played by Jason Lee) hurrying a woman (Julia Stiles) out of bed after a drunken one-night stand.
The scene is typical of how casual sex is portrayed on television and in the movies.
14-year-old Katie Seewald says, “Every TV show now has like at least one character who is like a slut.”
A study by the Rand Corporation finds that teens who watch shows with heavy sexual content are twice as likely to get pregnant or get someone pregnant compared to kids who don’t watch those shows. Still, while the study demonstrates a correlation between teenage sexual behavior and television content, it does not prove a cause. Are the higher pregnancy rates the result of TV viewing, or is it simply that kids who take sexual risks and end up pregnant are more likely to watch sexual content on TV? It is not clear.
Experts say one problem with television content is that sex seldom has consequences.
“If they see sex without negative consequences…they may think that having, or engaging in sex, may not have negative consequences,” explains Dr. Gina Wingood, Associate Professor at Emory University.
Bo Brewer, 17, agrees, “You never see abortion in movies or on t-v.”
So does 17-year-old Elizabeth Green, “They want everything to be in the heat of the moment, to flow, and having to stop to go put on a condom doesn’t really flow with the storyline.”
The experts’ advice?
Limit the amount of sexual content your kids are allowed to watch and talk with your children about the sexy scenes they see on TV.
Studies show children are much less likely to be influenced by what they see if they know their parents strongly disagree.
“Teens and young people do care what their parents think. And they do care what their parents’ feelings are,” says psychologist Betsy Gard. “And if a parent expresses very strong dislike of a program and explains their reasons, that’s going to have an impact on the teen.”
“And I think it’s kind of up to parents or some figure like that to say ‘well that’s not the way it is, that’s just the way that it is on that t-v show,” says 16-year-old Mary Cloud.
Tips for Parents
The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that portrayals of sex on entertainment television may contribute to precocious adolescent sex. Approximately two-thirds of television programs contain sexual content, and adolescents who viewed more sexual content were more likely to initiate intercourse and progress to more advanced non-coital sexual activities. Youths in the top 10th percentile of television sex viewing were twice as likely to have sex as those youths who were in the bottom 10th percentile of viewing.
Adolescence is a key period of sexual exploration and development. This is the time when teens begin to consider which sexual behaviors are enjoyable, moral and appropriate for their age group. Many teens become sexually active during this period; currently, 46 percent of high school students in the United States admit to having had sexual intercourse. Consider the following:
By ninth grade, 34 percent of teens have had sexual intercourse. By 12th grade, this figure increases to 60 percent.
On average, teens watch three hours of television every day.
Watching a program that talked about sex was associated with the same risks as exposure to a program that depicted sexual behavior.
Approximately one in seven television programs includes a portrayal of sexual intercourse.
Television programs with sexual content have an average of 4.4 scenes per hour containing sexually related material.
Youths who watched more depictions of sexual risks or safety were less likely to initiate intercourse.
Watching sex on television predicts and may hasten adolescent sexual initiation. Reducing the amount of sexual content in entertainment programming, reducing adolescent exposure to this content, or increasing references to and depictions of the possible negative consequences of sexual activity could delay when teens embark on sexual activities. A quarter of all sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease each year. According to 57 percent of adults and 72 percent of teens, the media has given "more attention" to teen pregnancy prevention in recent years.
Remember that as a parent you may be able to reduce the effects of sexual content in the media by watching television with your teenagers and discussing your own beliefs about sex and the behaviors being portrayed. Most parents say they have discussed sex with their teenagers, but far fewer teenagers say they had such talks with their parents. Sixty-nine percent of teens report that it would be "much easier" to postpone sexual activity if they could have "more open, honest conversations" about sex with their parents. In addition:
About 60 percent of teens have a television in their bedroom. The only way to keep parental control of television viewing is to not let your teen have a television in the bedroom.
Unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are more common among those who begin sexual activity earlier.
Two-thirds of sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer to have intercourse.
Seventy-nine percent of teenage virgins are not embarrassed to tell others they have not had sex.
Youngsters who receive little parental supervision may have more time and freedom to watch sexually based programming and more opportunities to engage in sexual activity.
References
The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation
Medical News Today
Pediatrics
Rand Corporation
Talk With Your Kids
USA Today
“Every TV show now has like at least one character who is like a slut.”
– Katie Seewald, 14 years old
Parents have heard a thousand times that sex is all over the media. But is the sheer volume of sexual images harming our children? Or is it something else?
A recent movie, “A Guy Thing,” begins with a bachelor (played by Jason Lee) hurrying a woman (Julia Stiles) out of bed after a drunken one-night stand.
The scene is typical of how casual sex is portrayed on television and in the movies.
14-year-old Katie Seewald says, “Every TV show now has like at least one character who is like a slut.”
A study by the Rand Corporation finds that teens who watch shows with heavy sexual content are twice as likely to get pregnant or get someone pregnant compared to kids who don’t watch those shows. Still, while the study demonstrates a correlation between teenage sexual behavior and television content, it does not prove a cause. Are the higher pregnancy rates the result of TV viewing, or is it simply that kids who take sexual risks and end up pregnant are more likely to watch sexual content on TV? It is not clear.
Experts say one problem with television content is that sex seldom has consequences.
“If they see sex without negative consequences…they may think that having, or engaging in sex, may not have negative consequences,” explains Dr. Gina Wingood, Associate Professor at Emory University.
Bo Brewer, 17, agrees, “You never see abortion in movies or on t-v.”
So does 17-year-old Elizabeth Green, “They want everything to be in the heat of the moment, to flow, and having to stop to go put on a condom doesn’t really flow with the storyline.”
The experts’ advice?
Limit the amount of sexual content your kids are allowed to watch and talk with your children about the sexy scenes they see on TV.
Studies show children are much less likely to be influenced by what they see if they know their parents strongly disagree.
“Teens and young people do care what their parents think. And they do care what their parents’ feelings are,” says psychologist Betsy Gard. “And if a parent expresses very strong dislike of a program and explains their reasons, that’s going to have an impact on the teen.”
“And I think it’s kind of up to parents or some figure like that to say ‘well that’s not the way it is, that’s just the way that it is on that t-v show,” says 16-year-old Mary Cloud.
Tips for Parents
The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that portrayals of sex on entertainment television may contribute to precocious adolescent sex. Approximately two-thirds of television programs contain sexual content, and adolescents who viewed more sexual content were more likely to initiate intercourse and progress to more advanced non-coital sexual activities. Youths in the top 10th percentile of television sex viewing were twice as likely to have sex as those youths who were in the bottom 10th percentile of viewing.
Adolescence is a key period of sexual exploration and development. This is the time when teens begin to consider which sexual behaviors are enjoyable, moral and appropriate for their age group. Many teens become sexually active during this period; currently, 46 percent of high school students in the United States admit to having had sexual intercourse. Consider the following:
By ninth grade, 34 percent of teens have had sexual intercourse. By 12th grade, this figure increases to 60 percent.
On average, teens watch three hours of television every day.
Watching a program that talked about sex was associated with the same risks as exposure to a program that depicted sexual behavior.
Approximately one in seven television programs includes a portrayal of sexual intercourse.
Television programs with sexual content have an average of 4.4 scenes per hour containing sexually related material.
Youths who watched more depictions of sexual risks or safety were less likely to initiate intercourse.
Watching sex on television predicts and may hasten adolescent sexual initiation. Reducing the amount of sexual content in entertainment programming, reducing adolescent exposure to this content, or increasing references to and depictions of the possible negative consequences of sexual activity could delay when teens embark on sexual activities. A quarter of all sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease each year. According to 57 percent of adults and 72 percent of teens, the media has given "more attention" to teen pregnancy prevention in recent years.
Remember that as a parent you may be able to reduce the effects of sexual content in the media by watching television with your teenagers and discussing your own beliefs about sex and the behaviors being portrayed. Most parents say they have discussed sex with their teenagers, but far fewer teenagers say they had such talks with their parents. Sixty-nine percent of teens report that it would be "much easier" to postpone sexual activity if they could have "more open, honest conversations" about sex with their parents. In addition:
About 60 percent of teens have a television in their bedroom. The only way to keep parental control of television viewing is to not let your teen have a television in the bedroom.
Unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are more common among those who begin sexual activity earlier.
Two-thirds of sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer to have intercourse.
Seventy-nine percent of teenage virgins are not embarrassed to tell others they have not had sex.
Youngsters who receive little parental supervision may have more time and freedom to watch sexually based programming and more opportunities to engage in sexual activity.
References
The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation
Medical News Today
Pediatrics
Rand Corporation
Talk With Your Kids
USA Today
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Gateway Drug Theory
Source: Connect with Kids
“The more we study marijuana, the more it begins to look just like every other drug of abuse.”
– Dr. Robert Margolis, a drug addiction specialist
Is marijuana a gateway drug?
“I don’t think so,” 18-year-old Katie Falkenberg says.
“I just have known kids who have done it and they don’t do anything else,” adds Randy Glance 17.
“I don’t think it’s gonna lead them into anything bigger,” 17-year-old Cody McGuire says.
But a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association suggests these teens are wrong.
The study examined 311 sets of twins, with one twin in each set having smoke marijuana before age 17.
“And what they found is that the twin who began smoking marijuana at a much earlier age had a very high increase in the probability that that twin would go on to use other drugs other than marijuana,” says Dr. Robert Margolis, an addiction specialist.
“As for me, it led within about a month period to other drugs,” says Kelly Crockett, 18.
Kelly says smoking pot got her closer to people who used hard drugs.
“And it’s like, ‘Hey, you like the way this made you feel? Try this, you know?’ And I was up for it, you know, part of me was like OK, if I say no, you know they won’t think I’m cool anymore,” she says.
Experts say pot also releases dopamine in the brain, just like harder drugs do.
“So if marijuana triggers the release of dopamine and cocaine triggers the release of dopamine and heroin triggers the release of dopamine, it makes sense that smoking marijuana may be priming the brain, getting the brain ready for these other drugs,” Dr. Margolis says.
But experts say many kids – and their parents – think marijuana is virtually harmless.
“Don’t just say, ‘Oh, it’s only marijuana,’” Dr. Margolis says.
Instead, parents should arm themselves with information from credible sources and send a strong message to kids: Marijuana is illegal, unhealthy and could very well be a gateway to other drugs.
“I know that it is, and anyone that thinks that it isn’t, it’s kind of sad to say this, but wait and find out … you probably will, you know,” Kelly says.
Tips for Parents
Does the early use of marijuana lead to the future abuse of harsher drugs? Australian researchers say the findings from their study of twins is further evidence in support of the “gateway” theory – where the use of “soft” drugs like pot fuels a future desire to seek a more intense “high” by trying stronger drugs.
The study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, tracked 311 sets of fraternal and identical twins, with each set having one twin who smoked marijuana prior to age 17. Researchers found that the twins who smoked marijuana were two to five times more likely than their siblings to abuse alcohol and harsher drugs, like heroin and cocaine, in their 20s and 30s. In fact, among the early marijuana users, 48% reported using cocaine and other stimulants as adults, 35% tried hallucinogens, 14% used heroin and other opiates, 46% later abused or became dependent on marijuana and 43% became alcohol dependent.
It is important to note, however, that the researchers caution that early marijuana use by no means guarantees abuse of other drugs later on in life. Rather, it is associated with a heightened risk of future abuse.
So how big of a problem is marijuana use during the teen years? According to a recent National Household Survey on Drug Use, 2.7 million Americans aged 12 and older used illicit drugs at least once in the month prior to being surveyed. Of those, the majority, 56.2 said their first drug was marijuana. Consider these additional statistics about marijuana use from the survey:
6 thousand Americans try marijuana for the first time everyday.
The age of first use on average is 17.6 years of age.
Most of the first time users on average were under the age of 18.
Marijuana, the most often used illegal drug in this country, is a green or gray mixture of dried, shredded flowers and leaves of the hemp plant. It is addictive and is known to have both short- and long-term negative effects on the body. The Center for Substance Abuse Prevention cites the following health problems associated with marijuana use:
Short term:
Problems with memory and learning
Distorted perception (sights, sounds, time, touch, etc.)
Trouble with thinking and problem-solving
Loss of coordination
Increased heart rate and anxiety
Long term:
Cancer: Smoking one joint is equivalent to smoking a whole pack of cigarettes.
Lungs and airways: Breathing problems include coughing, wheezing and a greater risk of lung infections.
Immune system: Continued use weakens the immune system, placing an individual at greater risk of sickness.
Reproductive system: Using marijuana increases testosterone levels in women and decreases testosterone levels in men, presents a risk of infertility in women and for men, it delays the onset of puberty and leads to decreased sperm production and quality.
How can you recognize if your teen is using marijuana? The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) suggests looking for the following physical signs in your teen:
Seems dizzy and has trouble walking
Seems silly and giggles for no reason
Has very red, bloodshot eyes
Has a hard time remembering things that just happened
Becomes very sleepy as the early effects of use begin to fade
The NIDA says that you should also be aware of the following changes in behavior that may indicate marijuana use in your teen:
Withdrawal
Depression
Fatigue
Carelessness with grooming
Hostility and deteriorating relationships with family members and friends
Changes in academic performance
Increased absenteeism or truancy
Lost interest in sports or other favorite activities
Changes in eating or sleeping habits
Signs of drugs and drug paraphernalia, including pipes and rolling papers
Odor on clothes and in the bedroom
Use of incense and other deodorizers
Increased use of eye drops
Clothing, posters, jewelry, etc., promoting drug use
If you suspect that your teen has a drug problem, it is important that you seek immediate treatment. Consult a psychiatrist or mental health professional when making decisions about substance abuse treatment for your teen. Remember that recovery from an addiction is a long-term process and may require frequent and multiple episodes of treatment.
As a parent, you have the most influence over your teen’s choice to use drugs. Therefore, it is important that you address the topic of drug use early on and often. Don’t wait until your teen has a problem with drugs before you bring up the discussion. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers these additional strategies for preventing drug use in your teen:
Be involved in your teen’s life. Ask who, what, when and where: Know who your teen’s friends are, what your teen is doing, when he or she will be home and where he or she is going.
Spend quality time with your teen. Eat dinner together, listen to music, watch a ball game or share chores.
Set a firm rule of no drug use in your family.
Commit yourself to a drug-free lifestyle. You are your teen’s most important role model. He or she notices everything you do.
Share your values with your teen. Sometimes it’s as simple as letting your teen know that you don’t want him or her using marijuana.
References
Center for Substance Abuse Prevention
Journal of the American Medical Association
National Household Survey on Drug Use
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Partnership for a Drug-Free America
“The more we study marijuana, the more it begins to look just like every other drug of abuse.”
– Dr. Robert Margolis, a drug addiction specialist
Is marijuana a gateway drug?
“I don’t think so,” 18-year-old Katie Falkenberg says.
“I just have known kids who have done it and they don’t do anything else,” adds Randy Glance 17.
“I don’t think it’s gonna lead them into anything bigger,” 17-year-old Cody McGuire says.
But a study in the Journal of the American Medical Association suggests these teens are wrong.
The study examined 311 sets of twins, with one twin in each set having smoke marijuana before age 17.
“And what they found is that the twin who began smoking marijuana at a much earlier age had a very high increase in the probability that that twin would go on to use other drugs other than marijuana,” says Dr. Robert Margolis, an addiction specialist.
“As for me, it led within about a month period to other drugs,” says Kelly Crockett, 18.
Kelly says smoking pot got her closer to people who used hard drugs.
“And it’s like, ‘Hey, you like the way this made you feel? Try this, you know?’ And I was up for it, you know, part of me was like OK, if I say no, you know they won’t think I’m cool anymore,” she says.
Experts say pot also releases dopamine in the brain, just like harder drugs do.
“So if marijuana triggers the release of dopamine and cocaine triggers the release of dopamine and heroin triggers the release of dopamine, it makes sense that smoking marijuana may be priming the brain, getting the brain ready for these other drugs,” Dr. Margolis says.
But experts say many kids – and their parents – think marijuana is virtually harmless.
“Don’t just say, ‘Oh, it’s only marijuana,’” Dr. Margolis says.
Instead, parents should arm themselves with information from credible sources and send a strong message to kids: Marijuana is illegal, unhealthy and could very well be a gateway to other drugs.
“I know that it is, and anyone that thinks that it isn’t, it’s kind of sad to say this, but wait and find out … you probably will, you know,” Kelly says.
Tips for Parents
Does the early use of marijuana lead to the future abuse of harsher drugs? Australian researchers say the findings from their study of twins is further evidence in support of the “gateway” theory – where the use of “soft” drugs like pot fuels a future desire to seek a more intense “high” by trying stronger drugs.
The study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, tracked 311 sets of fraternal and identical twins, with each set having one twin who smoked marijuana prior to age 17. Researchers found that the twins who smoked marijuana were two to five times more likely than their siblings to abuse alcohol and harsher drugs, like heroin and cocaine, in their 20s and 30s. In fact, among the early marijuana users, 48% reported using cocaine and other stimulants as adults, 35% tried hallucinogens, 14% used heroin and other opiates, 46% later abused or became dependent on marijuana and 43% became alcohol dependent.
It is important to note, however, that the researchers caution that early marijuana use by no means guarantees abuse of other drugs later on in life. Rather, it is associated with a heightened risk of future abuse.
So how big of a problem is marijuana use during the teen years? According to a recent National Household Survey on Drug Use, 2.7 million Americans aged 12 and older used illicit drugs at least once in the month prior to being surveyed. Of those, the majority, 56.2 said their first drug was marijuana. Consider these additional statistics about marijuana use from the survey:
6 thousand Americans try marijuana for the first time everyday.
The age of first use on average is 17.6 years of age.
Most of the first time users on average were under the age of 18.
Marijuana, the most often used illegal drug in this country, is a green or gray mixture of dried, shredded flowers and leaves of the hemp plant. It is addictive and is known to have both short- and long-term negative effects on the body. The Center for Substance Abuse Prevention cites the following health problems associated with marijuana use:
Short term:
Problems with memory and learning
Distorted perception (sights, sounds, time, touch, etc.)
Trouble with thinking and problem-solving
Loss of coordination
Increased heart rate and anxiety
Long term:
Cancer: Smoking one joint is equivalent to smoking a whole pack of cigarettes.
Lungs and airways: Breathing problems include coughing, wheezing and a greater risk of lung infections.
Immune system: Continued use weakens the immune system, placing an individual at greater risk of sickness.
Reproductive system: Using marijuana increases testosterone levels in women and decreases testosterone levels in men, presents a risk of infertility in women and for men, it delays the onset of puberty and leads to decreased sperm production and quality.
How can you recognize if your teen is using marijuana? The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) suggests looking for the following physical signs in your teen:
Seems dizzy and has trouble walking
Seems silly and giggles for no reason
Has very red, bloodshot eyes
Has a hard time remembering things that just happened
Becomes very sleepy as the early effects of use begin to fade
The NIDA says that you should also be aware of the following changes in behavior that may indicate marijuana use in your teen:
Withdrawal
Depression
Fatigue
Carelessness with grooming
Hostility and deteriorating relationships with family members and friends
Changes in academic performance
Increased absenteeism or truancy
Lost interest in sports or other favorite activities
Changes in eating or sleeping habits
Signs of drugs and drug paraphernalia, including pipes and rolling papers
Odor on clothes and in the bedroom
Use of incense and other deodorizers
Increased use of eye drops
Clothing, posters, jewelry, etc., promoting drug use
If you suspect that your teen has a drug problem, it is important that you seek immediate treatment. Consult a psychiatrist or mental health professional when making decisions about substance abuse treatment for your teen. Remember that recovery from an addiction is a long-term process and may require frequent and multiple episodes of treatment.
As a parent, you have the most influence over your teen’s choice to use drugs. Therefore, it is important that you address the topic of drug use early on and often. Don’t wait until your teen has a problem with drugs before you bring up the discussion. The Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers these additional strategies for preventing drug use in your teen:
Be involved in your teen’s life. Ask who, what, when and where: Know who your teen’s friends are, what your teen is doing, when he or she will be home and where he or she is going.
Spend quality time with your teen. Eat dinner together, listen to music, watch a ball game or share chores.
Set a firm rule of no drug use in your family.
Commit yourself to a drug-free lifestyle. You are your teen’s most important role model. He or she notices everything you do.
Share your values with your teen. Sometimes it’s as simple as letting your teen know that you don’t want him or her using marijuana.
References
Center for Substance Abuse Prevention
Journal of the American Medical Association
National Household Survey on Drug Use
National Institute on Drug Abuse
Partnership for a Drug-Free America
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The Teen Brain
Source: Connect with Kids
“Brain maturation is still going on well into adulthood. And, as a parent, a parent’s job will be to help transition to get to that point in adulthood.”
– Tom Burns, Psy.D., Director of Neuropsychology, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta
Teenagers and adults don’t often think alike.
“Teenagers – we think totally different,” says 14 year-old Quinton Eberhardt. “We‘re more spontaneous and risky.”
And, teens are more likely to take truly dangerous chances like, “drinking, taking drugs, doing street racing when they’re drunk,” says 17-year-old Vanessa Maymi.
Fourteen-year-old Sam Barksdale sees kids take risks in other ways.
“I know a lot of kids who skate and they … just [jump] over, like, 14 stairs on a piece of wood,” he says.
And 16-year-old Gabriel Vazquez agrees that risk-taking is a part of adolescence.
“We get bored very easily,” he says. “It takes more for us to get excited.”
That need for more excitement isn’t just an adolescent stage – it’s a biological one.
In a study from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, researchers have found that the ventral striatum or reward center of a teenager’s brain is less developed than an adult’s.
“The hypothesis being, in order for them to achieve satisfaction in that area, they would go further behaviorally to achieve it,” says Dr. Tom Burns, director of neuropsychology at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. “They would be more likely to drink more or to get involved for example with smoking to reach that level.”
In other words, it takes a bigger, more intense reward to stimulate a teen’s brain. And that could lead some to take risks, ranging from extreme sports to drinking or drugs.
Dr. Burns says, “Brain maturation is still going on well into adulthood. And, as a parent, a parent’s job will be to help transition to get to that point in adulthood.”
And that means giving kids your views and judgment to fall back on until they’re ready to rely on their own.
“They know already, ‘Okay, I learned this and my mom taught me, you know, this ain’t the right thing to go, the right way, and I gotta look at my future,’” says 17-year-old Vanessa Maymi.
Tips for Parents
Recent breakthroughs in technology, specifically brain “scanning” technology, have shown that environmental factors play a much larger role in children’s brain development than experts previously thought. When babies are born, they have all of the neurons or brain cells they will ever have but lack the connections or wiring between the neurons. Research shows that the experiences a child has during the first three years of life have a major impact on how the child’s brain is wired. The American Library Association (ALA) says every nursery rhyme reading or peek-a-boo game helps form and strengthen thousands of connections among the brain, connections that are not easily formed later in life.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) “strongly recommends” that parents read to their children daily beginning by six months of age. According to the AAP, “Reading aloud to children helps stimulate brain development, yet only 50% of infants and toddlers are routinely read to by their parents. … Reading with your child not only stimulates development of your child’s brain, but it also fuels a close emotional relationship between you and your child.”
One way to help your teen avoid taking risks is by teaching him or her the necessary skills for good decision-making. The Ohio State University Extension outlines the following steps to teach your teen:
Identify and define the problem.
List possible options/alternatives. Use a brainstorming technique where you put a lot of ideas on paper. It is important to let your teen come up with the first idea and put it down even if it doesn’t seem workable to you. If they he or she can’t seem to get started, ask if you may make a suggestion. Making it silly or outlandish may encourage your teen to be free to express his or her ideas. Remember not to be judgmental. This is just a gathering of ideas.
Evaluate the options. Let your teen evaluate the options with you there for guidance, support and encouragement. If you see a point he or she is not thinking of, ask your teen if you can bring up a point. By asking permission, your teen is more likely to really listen to your point and not consider it a lecture or put down of his or her ideas and thought process. Having your teen ask the following four questions can help him or her evaluate the available options: Is it unkind? Is it hurtful? Is it unfair? Is it dishonest?
Choose one option. It is important that the solution to the problem does not create a problem for someone else.
Make a plan and execute it. This is probably the most difficult step. If your teen’s choice is not acceptable to the other person, he or she may need to go back to the list of options.
Evaluate the problem and solution. This is probably the most neglected step in decision-making but it is critical to the learning process. Examine the following issues: What brought the problem about? Can a similar problem be prevented in the future? How was the present problem solved? Your teen can feel good about his or her success – or learn and take ownership of looking for another solution. Avoid saying “I told you so” if your teen’s solution didn’t work.
As your teen begins to make important life decisions, the National PTA advises that you keep the following points in mind:
Help your teen understand that decisions have consequences both for himself or herself and others. For instance, a teen might decide to take up smoking because it looks “mature” without considering that smoking carries a variety of consequences including yellow teeth, smoker’s breath, an expensive habit and increased risk of cancer and heart disease.
Show your teen that not making a decision when one is needed can be as bad as making the “wrong” decision. Your teenage son can’t decide whether to rent a black or white tuxedo for the prom. In the meantime, all the tuxedos are rented, and now he must buy one.
If you are not sure what kinds of decisions your teen is mature enough to handle, give him or her the chance to try making some decisions. Be supportive, friendly and ready at-hand to save the day, if necessary. This will help you and your teen know what he or he is ready to do for him/herself.
Accept your teen’s decisions. Remember, no decision is perfect. Support his or her ability to make decisions.
Understand that many of your teen’s decisions will be based on his or her personal tastes and needs and, therefore, may not match the decision you would have made for him or her.
Lay ground rules or limits for decision-making. If your teen wants to do something that is clearly harmful or unacceptable, explain why you cannot allow him or her to act on that decision.
According to the American Psychological Association, many times you can offset dangerous risk-taking behavior simply by being there. Knowing what is going on in his or her life is the most effective thing you can do to keep your teen physically and emotionally safe:
Encourage positive risk-taking.
Having a solid relationship with your teen, preferably begun when he or she was young, can help him or her make judgment calls when you are not there to supervise. At the least, it will keep the door open for your teen to talk to you about the issues he or she faces.
Be able to speak frankly with your teen about addictive substances. Most important, set a good example.
Establish a pattern of asking and, as much as possible, knowing where your teen is and with whom he or she is spending time.
Searching your teen’s room or insisting on a drug test should not be undertaken lightly. Teens need their privacy. Still, you have a job to protect him or her.
The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign says that sometimes, teens lack the language they need in order to help them stay away from risky situations. Here are some lines you can provide to your teen with in the event that he or she is offered drugs by his or her friends:
“No, thanks. It’s not for me.”
“Why would I want to mess up a good thing? I’m cool the way I am.”
“You’re kidding, right? Why would I do something so dumb?”
“No way, man. Taking drugs is stupid.”
“Can’t do it. Gotta get home.”
“I tried drinking and got sick.”
“That’s illegal. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“I have a big game tomorrow.”
“I’m up for a scholarship and don’t want to blow it.”
“My parents would kill me.”
“My cousin smoked marijuana and got caught by the police.”
“I can’t use drugs. I have a big test tomorrow.”
“I could get kicked off the team if anyone found out.”
Another essential method of keeping your teen free from risks is to keep the lines of communication open. Keep in mind these points about communication from the Child Development Institute:
Let your teen know that you are interested and involved and that you will help when needed.
Turn off the television or put the newspaper down when your teen wants to converse.
Avoid taking a telephone call when your teen has something important to tell you.
Unless other people are specifically meant to be included, hold conversations in private. The best communication between you and your teen will occur when others are not around.
Embarrassing your teen or putting him or her on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility, not good communication.
If you are very angry about a behavior or an incident, don’t attempt communication until you regain your cool because you cannot be objective until then. It is better to stop, settle down and talk to your teen later.
Listen carefully and politely. Don’t interrupt your teen when he or she is trying to tell his or her story. Be as courteous to your teen as you would be to your best friend.
If you have knowledge of the situation, confront your teen with the information that you know or have been told.
Keep “adult talking” (“You’ll talk when I’m finished.” “I know what’s best for you.” “Just do what I say and that will solve the problem”), preaching and moralizing to a minimum because they are not helpful in getting communication open and keeping it open.
Reinforce the idea of open communication by accepting praising your teenager’s efforts to communicate.
References
American Psychological Association
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
Child Development Institute
National Household Survey on Drug Abuse
National PTA
National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign
Ohio State University Extension
Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System
“Brain maturation is still going on well into adulthood. And, as a parent, a parent’s job will be to help transition to get to that point in adulthood.”
– Tom Burns, Psy.D., Director of Neuropsychology, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta
Teenagers and adults don’t often think alike.
“Teenagers – we think totally different,” says 14 year-old Quinton Eberhardt. “We‘re more spontaneous and risky.”
And, teens are more likely to take truly dangerous chances like, “drinking, taking drugs, doing street racing when they’re drunk,” says 17-year-old Vanessa Maymi.
Fourteen-year-old Sam Barksdale sees kids take risks in other ways.
“I know a lot of kids who skate and they … just [jump] over, like, 14 stairs on a piece of wood,” he says.
And 16-year-old Gabriel Vazquez agrees that risk-taking is a part of adolescence.
“We get bored very easily,” he says. “It takes more for us to get excited.”
That need for more excitement isn’t just an adolescent stage – it’s a biological one.
In a study from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, researchers have found that the ventral striatum or reward center of a teenager’s brain is less developed than an adult’s.
“The hypothesis being, in order for them to achieve satisfaction in that area, they would go further behaviorally to achieve it,” says Dr. Tom Burns, director of neuropsychology at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. “They would be more likely to drink more or to get involved for example with smoking to reach that level.”
In other words, it takes a bigger, more intense reward to stimulate a teen’s brain. And that could lead some to take risks, ranging from extreme sports to drinking or drugs.
Dr. Burns says, “Brain maturation is still going on well into adulthood. And, as a parent, a parent’s job will be to help transition to get to that point in adulthood.”
And that means giving kids your views and judgment to fall back on until they’re ready to rely on their own.
“They know already, ‘Okay, I learned this and my mom taught me, you know, this ain’t the right thing to go, the right way, and I gotta look at my future,’” says 17-year-old Vanessa Maymi.
Tips for Parents
Recent breakthroughs in technology, specifically brain “scanning” technology, have shown that environmental factors play a much larger role in children’s brain development than experts previously thought. When babies are born, they have all of the neurons or brain cells they will ever have but lack the connections or wiring between the neurons. Research shows that the experiences a child has during the first three years of life have a major impact on how the child’s brain is wired. The American Library Association (ALA) says every nursery rhyme reading or peek-a-boo game helps form and strengthen thousands of connections among the brain, connections that are not easily formed later in life.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) “strongly recommends” that parents read to their children daily beginning by six months of age. According to the AAP, “Reading aloud to children helps stimulate brain development, yet only 50% of infants and toddlers are routinely read to by their parents. … Reading with your child not only stimulates development of your child’s brain, but it also fuels a close emotional relationship between you and your child.”
One way to help your teen avoid taking risks is by teaching him or her the necessary skills for good decision-making. The Ohio State University Extension outlines the following steps to teach your teen:
Identify and define the problem.
List possible options/alternatives. Use a brainstorming technique where you put a lot of ideas on paper. It is important to let your teen come up with the first idea and put it down even if it doesn’t seem workable to you. If they he or she can’t seem to get started, ask if you may make a suggestion. Making it silly or outlandish may encourage your teen to be free to express his or her ideas. Remember not to be judgmental. This is just a gathering of ideas.
Evaluate the options. Let your teen evaluate the options with you there for guidance, support and encouragement. If you see a point he or she is not thinking of, ask your teen if you can bring up a point. By asking permission, your teen is more likely to really listen to your point and not consider it a lecture or put down of his or her ideas and thought process. Having your teen ask the following four questions can help him or her evaluate the available options: Is it unkind? Is it hurtful? Is it unfair? Is it dishonest?
Choose one option. It is important that the solution to the problem does not create a problem for someone else.
Make a plan and execute it. This is probably the most difficult step. If your teen’s choice is not acceptable to the other person, he or she may need to go back to the list of options.
Evaluate the problem and solution. This is probably the most neglected step in decision-making but it is critical to the learning process. Examine the following issues: What brought the problem about? Can a similar problem be prevented in the future? How was the present problem solved? Your teen can feel good about his or her success – or learn and take ownership of looking for another solution. Avoid saying “I told you so” if your teen’s solution didn’t work.
As your teen begins to make important life decisions, the National PTA advises that you keep the following points in mind:
Help your teen understand that decisions have consequences both for himself or herself and others. For instance, a teen might decide to take up smoking because it looks “mature” without considering that smoking carries a variety of consequences including yellow teeth, smoker’s breath, an expensive habit and increased risk of cancer and heart disease.
Show your teen that not making a decision when one is needed can be as bad as making the “wrong” decision. Your teenage son can’t decide whether to rent a black or white tuxedo for the prom. In the meantime, all the tuxedos are rented, and now he must buy one.
If you are not sure what kinds of decisions your teen is mature enough to handle, give him or her the chance to try making some decisions. Be supportive, friendly and ready at-hand to save the day, if necessary. This will help you and your teen know what he or he is ready to do for him/herself.
Accept your teen’s decisions. Remember, no decision is perfect. Support his or her ability to make decisions.
Understand that many of your teen’s decisions will be based on his or her personal tastes and needs and, therefore, may not match the decision you would have made for him or her.
Lay ground rules or limits for decision-making. If your teen wants to do something that is clearly harmful or unacceptable, explain why you cannot allow him or her to act on that decision.
According to the American Psychological Association, many times you can offset dangerous risk-taking behavior simply by being there. Knowing what is going on in his or her life is the most effective thing you can do to keep your teen physically and emotionally safe:
Encourage positive risk-taking.
Having a solid relationship with your teen, preferably begun when he or she was young, can help him or her make judgment calls when you are not there to supervise. At the least, it will keep the door open for your teen to talk to you about the issues he or she faces.
Be able to speak frankly with your teen about addictive substances. Most important, set a good example.
Establish a pattern of asking and, as much as possible, knowing where your teen is and with whom he or she is spending time.
Searching your teen’s room or insisting on a drug test should not be undertaken lightly. Teens need their privacy. Still, you have a job to protect him or her.
The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign says that sometimes, teens lack the language they need in order to help them stay away from risky situations. Here are some lines you can provide to your teen with in the event that he or she is offered drugs by his or her friends:
“No, thanks. It’s not for me.”
“Why would I want to mess up a good thing? I’m cool the way I am.”
“You’re kidding, right? Why would I do something so dumb?”
“No way, man. Taking drugs is stupid.”
“Can’t do it. Gotta get home.”
“I tried drinking and got sick.”
“That’s illegal. I don’t want to get in trouble.”
“I have a big game tomorrow.”
“I’m up for a scholarship and don’t want to blow it.”
“My parents would kill me.”
“My cousin smoked marijuana and got caught by the police.”
“I can’t use drugs. I have a big test tomorrow.”
“I could get kicked off the team if anyone found out.”
Another essential method of keeping your teen free from risks is to keep the lines of communication open. Keep in mind these points about communication from the Child Development Institute:
Let your teen know that you are interested and involved and that you will help when needed.
Turn off the television or put the newspaper down when your teen wants to converse.
Avoid taking a telephone call when your teen has something important to tell you.
Unless other people are specifically meant to be included, hold conversations in private. The best communication between you and your teen will occur when others are not around.
Embarrassing your teen or putting him or her on the spot in front of others will lead only to resentment and hostility, not good communication.
If you are very angry about a behavior or an incident, don’t attempt communication until you regain your cool because you cannot be objective until then. It is better to stop, settle down and talk to your teen later.
Listen carefully and politely. Don’t interrupt your teen when he or she is trying to tell his or her story. Be as courteous to your teen as you would be to your best friend.
If you have knowledge of the situation, confront your teen with the information that you know or have been told.
Keep “adult talking” (“You’ll talk when I’m finished.” “I know what’s best for you.” “Just do what I say and that will solve the problem”), preaching and moralizing to a minimum because they are not helpful in getting communication open and keeping it open.
Reinforce the idea of open communication by accepting praising your teenager’s efforts to communicate.
References
American Psychological Association
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
Child Development Institute
National Household Survey on Drug Abuse
National PTA
National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign
Ohio State University Extension
Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Keeping Potential Drop Outs in Class
Source: Connect with Kids
“If there’s nobody to lean back on, I’m just going to fall like I did before.”
– Davis Ma, Age15
Davis Ma could certainly be considered an underachiever. By sixth grade his grades had bottomed out, and he often skipped school, “I really didn’t care about school,” Davis says. “I thought school was crap, and wouldn’t help me at all….It was horrible, I was really bad, getting in trouble with the teachers, cursing at teachers, yelling at them.”
Studies show as many as 25 to 50 percent of students in middle and high school underachieve and one in four students will drop out.
And when a child is struggling, a parent’s first reaction might be to crack down on a child like Davis, but Psychologist Nadine Kaslow says that approach often backfires.
“I rarely have seen that taking a hard approach with an underachiever helps. I mean, to scare a kid into doing homework is not a good approach, and so I think you really need to find out what is your child trying to communicate to you and really hear them.”
Kaslow adds, “I would find out a lot from the child about what’s going on with them, what do they think is going on with this, how do they feel about it? What’s going on socially for them?”
In Davis’ case, that sympathetic ear came from a tutor, Gloria Rachel.
“Mrs. Rachel showed she cared, and she showed me that school was important, so she was a good influence.”
Gloria Rachel says that when it comes to underachievers, patience and compassion are equally important virtues. “Just being there for them, letting them know you care, not pushing your values on them. But somehow getting them to know what your values are, and hoping everything works out.”
And Rachel says often optimism pays off with underachieving children, “They will eventually grow out of it, she says. “If you can just hang on, and if you’ve done what you’ve meant to do, show them support and love and caring, and they know that they have someone that they can lean on, eventually, they’ll come around.”
Davis, who’s now in eighth grade, says in his most recent semester he got almost all A’s. He says it was Mrs. Rachel who gave him the inspiration. “And I felt special and stuff like that, I didn’t want to let her down, you know, after she did so much for me.”
The respect and support Davis received from his tutor certainly raised his self-esteem. Experts say it is often a low self esteem that leads to underachievement in the first place, “so often kids underachieve because they don’t feel good about themselves,” Dr. Kaslow says. “Underachievement is a way of communicating.”
Davis agrees that having a sympathetic ear has meant everything to his success. “If there’s nobody to lean back on, I’m just gonna fall like I did before.”
Tips for Parents
Most parents expect that their children will succeed as students just as they expect to succeed as parents. When a child does not perform to their potential, a parent is often confused, disappointed, angry and afraid. Whether the lack of success is academic skills, social behavior or both, the recognition that a youngster is not doing well can cause pain.
The problem of underachievement can be difficult to define and often has different meanings to professionals in different occupations. This is one of the many reasons underachieving children often do not receive the help they need. Underachievement is commonly used as an umbrella term to describe anyone who is not performing in a particular activity as well as someone who knows that activity well and thinks they should. Usually the term refers to lack of academic success; however adults who choose jobs that do not reflect the degrees they hold or athletes who fail to perform to their potential could also be referred to as underachievers.
There is perhaps no situation more frustrating for parents or teachers than living or working with children who do not perform as well academically as their potential indicates they can. These children are labeled as underachievers, yet few people agree on exactly what this term means. At what point does underachievement end and achievement begin? Is a gifted student who is failing mathematics while doing superior work in reading an underachiever? Certainly, the phenomenon of underachievement is as complex and multifaceted as the children to whom this label has been applied.
Experts offer this advice for parents looking to reverse the patterns of underachieving behaviors in students.
Supportive Strategies. Classroom techniques and designs that allow students to feel they are part of a “family” rather than a “factory.” An adult should try to include methods such as holding class meetings to discuss student concerns; designing curriculum activities based on the needs and interests of the children; and allowing students to bypass assignments on subjects in which they have previously shown competency.
Intrinsic Strategies. These strategies incorporate the idea that student’s self-concepts as learners are tied closely to their desire to achieve academically. Thus, a classroom that invites positive attitudes is likely to encourage achievement. In classrooms of this type, teachers encourage attempts, not just successes; they value student input in creating classroom rules and responsibilities; and they allow students to evaluate their own work before receiving a grade from the teacher.
Remedial Strategies. Teachers who are effective in reversing underachieving behaviors recognize that students are not perfect – that each child has specific strengths and weaknesses as well as social, emotional and intellectual needs. With remedial strategies, students are given chances to excel in their areas of strength and interest while opportunities are provided in specific areas of learning deficiencies. This remediation is done in a “safe environment in which mistakes are considered a part of learning for everyone, including the teacher.”
References
Education Trust
ERIC- Education Resources Information Center
U.S. Department of Education
“If there’s nobody to lean back on, I’m just going to fall like I did before.”
– Davis Ma, Age15
Davis Ma could certainly be considered an underachiever. By sixth grade his grades had bottomed out, and he often skipped school, “I really didn’t care about school,” Davis says. “I thought school was crap, and wouldn’t help me at all….It was horrible, I was really bad, getting in trouble with the teachers, cursing at teachers, yelling at them.”
Studies show as many as 25 to 50 percent of students in middle and high school underachieve and one in four students will drop out.
And when a child is struggling, a parent’s first reaction might be to crack down on a child like Davis, but Psychologist Nadine Kaslow says that approach often backfires.
“I rarely have seen that taking a hard approach with an underachiever helps. I mean, to scare a kid into doing homework is not a good approach, and so I think you really need to find out what is your child trying to communicate to you and really hear them.”
Kaslow adds, “I would find out a lot from the child about what’s going on with them, what do they think is going on with this, how do they feel about it? What’s going on socially for them?”
In Davis’ case, that sympathetic ear came from a tutor, Gloria Rachel.
“Mrs. Rachel showed she cared, and she showed me that school was important, so she was a good influence.”
Gloria Rachel says that when it comes to underachievers, patience and compassion are equally important virtues. “Just being there for them, letting them know you care, not pushing your values on them. But somehow getting them to know what your values are, and hoping everything works out.”
And Rachel says often optimism pays off with underachieving children, “They will eventually grow out of it, she says. “If you can just hang on, and if you’ve done what you’ve meant to do, show them support and love and caring, and they know that they have someone that they can lean on, eventually, they’ll come around.”
Davis, who’s now in eighth grade, says in his most recent semester he got almost all A’s. He says it was Mrs. Rachel who gave him the inspiration. “And I felt special and stuff like that, I didn’t want to let her down, you know, after she did so much for me.”
The respect and support Davis received from his tutor certainly raised his self-esteem. Experts say it is often a low self esteem that leads to underachievement in the first place, “so often kids underachieve because they don’t feel good about themselves,” Dr. Kaslow says. “Underachievement is a way of communicating.”
Davis agrees that having a sympathetic ear has meant everything to his success. “If there’s nobody to lean back on, I’m just gonna fall like I did before.”
Tips for Parents
Most parents expect that their children will succeed as students just as they expect to succeed as parents. When a child does not perform to their potential, a parent is often confused, disappointed, angry and afraid. Whether the lack of success is academic skills, social behavior or both, the recognition that a youngster is not doing well can cause pain.
The problem of underachievement can be difficult to define and often has different meanings to professionals in different occupations. This is one of the many reasons underachieving children often do not receive the help they need. Underachievement is commonly used as an umbrella term to describe anyone who is not performing in a particular activity as well as someone who knows that activity well and thinks they should. Usually the term refers to lack of academic success; however adults who choose jobs that do not reflect the degrees they hold or athletes who fail to perform to their potential could also be referred to as underachievers.
There is perhaps no situation more frustrating for parents or teachers than living or working with children who do not perform as well academically as their potential indicates they can. These children are labeled as underachievers, yet few people agree on exactly what this term means. At what point does underachievement end and achievement begin? Is a gifted student who is failing mathematics while doing superior work in reading an underachiever? Certainly, the phenomenon of underachievement is as complex and multifaceted as the children to whom this label has been applied.
Experts offer this advice for parents looking to reverse the patterns of underachieving behaviors in students.
Supportive Strategies. Classroom techniques and designs that allow students to feel they are part of a “family” rather than a “factory.” An adult should try to include methods such as holding class meetings to discuss student concerns; designing curriculum activities based on the needs and interests of the children; and allowing students to bypass assignments on subjects in which they have previously shown competency.
Intrinsic Strategies. These strategies incorporate the idea that student’s self-concepts as learners are tied closely to their desire to achieve academically. Thus, a classroom that invites positive attitudes is likely to encourage achievement. In classrooms of this type, teachers encourage attempts, not just successes; they value student input in creating classroom rules and responsibilities; and they allow students to evaluate their own work before receiving a grade from the teacher.
Remedial Strategies. Teachers who are effective in reversing underachieving behaviors recognize that students are not perfect – that each child has specific strengths and weaknesses as well as social, emotional and intellectual needs. With remedial strategies, students are given chances to excel in their areas of strength and interest while opportunities are provided in specific areas of learning deficiencies. This remediation is done in a “safe environment in which mistakes are considered a part of learning for everyone, including the teacher.”
References
Education Trust
ERIC- Education Resources Information Center
U.S. Department of Education
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Trouble With Boys
Source: Connect with Kids
"In my class, most boys don’t do anything … they just … sit there.”
– Linh, 15 years old
According to the U.S. Department of Education, more girls than boys participate in student government, the drama club, the debate club and the honor society. Statistics show that of those students who write for the student newspaper and yearbook, girls outnumber boys. And on a reading level, girls are typically ahead of boys by a year and a half.
“Most boys just think school is lame, and they drop out,” 18-year-old Faith says.
“It’s kinda shocking, but in reality, the truth, I know that girls work harder than guys,” says Ryan, 16.
Fifteen-year-old Aida agrees: “The boys goof off, and the girls pay more attention.”
But why is there such a discrepancy? Some experts say schools aren’t sensitive enough to boys and their learning problems.
“We know that boys are more vulnerable to developmental disorders, learning disabilities, attention problems … and it is possible that some of these subtle, early signs or needs may have been inadvertently been overlooked,” says Dr. Joanne Max, a clinical psychologist.
She says many parents and educators view boys as being more aggressive and causing more trouble than their female counterparts.
“And I think that there is a tendency to focus on boys as problems at this point, rather than recognizing that boys HAVE problems,” Dr. Max says.
“I have to stay on my child to make sure he gets his work done,” says Ryan’s mom, Donna Glasser. “I contact his teachers to see how he is doing, … drag him to different college fairs and stuff to make sure he can hear what he is going to need to go to school.”
Dr. Max tells parents that they can help their children if they notice signs of disinterest in school and slipping grades.
“I advise parents not to be a mild pest and not to be a severe pest, but to be a moderate pest,” Dr. Max says. “We need to advocate for them both within the school [and] within the home.”
Tips for Parents
Boys are trailing behind girls in school in a number of academic areas. According to the 2000 National Assessment of Education Progress (National Center for Education Statistics, 2000) and Dr. Michael Gurian of the Gurian Institute, the following statistics should raise concerns for everyone:
Two-thirds of all learning disability diagnoses are for boys.
Seventy percent of all Ds and Fs on report cards go home in boys’ backpacks – not girls.
Ninety percent of school discipline referrals are for boys.
Eighty percent of all Ritalin takers are boys.
Eighty percent of all school dropouts are boys.
Fewer than 40 percent of college students are currently male.
Girls in general are surpassing boys in school in all subjects except math and science, and even that gap has closed significantly in the past few years.
When education lapses and youth choose dropping out over staying in school, they are at risk for a number of negative outcomes, including an increased likelihood of violent and criminal behavior, the possibilities for good employment being dramatically lowered, self esteem drops, and causing suffering among families and loved ones. Youth who drop out are more likely to depend on government welfare and contribute less to society.
We need to rethink how we teach young people and how we approach the learning differences of girls and boys. Teachers, coaches, parents and all adults involved with both genders need to be aware and of the different learning styles and teaching strategies that work with boys and girls.
Experts say that parents can take steps to help their children become more interested in learning and more successful in school. The University of Illinois Extension (UIE) offers these tips to help parents provide the encouragement, environment and materials children need in order to be successful and studious.
Establish a routine for meals, bedtime and study (homework).
Provide books, supplies and a special place for studying.
Encourage your child to “ready” himself or herself for studying (refocus attention and relax).
Offer to study with your child periodically by calling out spelling words or using flash cards.
An established study routine is “very important,” especially for younger school age children. Experts say that children who develop a broad foundation of knowledge on a variety of subjects tend to find school and learning easier and more interesting than those who do not. The UIE suggests participating in the following activities with your child to help broaden his or her interests:
Watch newscasts and documentaries on television.
Rent or buy educational videos.
Visit natural history museums, science museums, art museums, children’s museums, zoos, botanical gardens and historical sites.
Sign up for a tour of a national or state park.
Read newspaper and magazine articles together.
Go to the public library.
Make every vacation a learning experience.
We all know that boys are different from girls, but recent studies of the brain are now able to demonstrate how the brain structures and functions of girls and boys are “wired differently.” Different wiring means they learn differently. To help our boys be successful, educators need to recognize how boys and girls learn differently and incorporate these changes into classrooms and schools.
Michael Gurian offers these suggestions to teachers to make their classrooms more “boy-friendly:”
Learn ways to include physical movement in the curriculum.
Don’t eliminate recess! If punishment is necessary, provide active service alternatives such as cleaning the cafeteria or some other task requiring physical activity. Try to avoid idle time.
Help boys become interested in language arts by adopting more male-friendly reading choices, including personal reading choices on topics that interest them.
Become more project-oriented in teaching rather than standard and strand-oriented. Include projects that meet the national standards, not just worksheets.
Provide male mentors. Boys’ brains respond strongly to one-on-one relationships.
And Michael Thompson, author of the book and the PBS documentary “Raising Cain” offers one more very important suggestion: Allow boys to express their sense of humor and help them find appropriate ways and times to do so.
Remember, as a parent, you are the most important teacher in your child’s life.
References
Education Week
Gurian Institute
National Center for Education Statistics
The Gender Center
University of Illinois Extension
"In my class, most boys don’t do anything … they just … sit there.”
– Linh, 15 years old
According to the U.S. Department of Education, more girls than boys participate in student government, the drama club, the debate club and the honor society. Statistics show that of those students who write for the student newspaper and yearbook, girls outnumber boys. And on a reading level, girls are typically ahead of boys by a year and a half.
“Most boys just think school is lame, and they drop out,” 18-year-old Faith says.
“It’s kinda shocking, but in reality, the truth, I know that girls work harder than guys,” says Ryan, 16.
Fifteen-year-old Aida agrees: “The boys goof off, and the girls pay more attention.”
But why is there such a discrepancy? Some experts say schools aren’t sensitive enough to boys and their learning problems.
“We know that boys are more vulnerable to developmental disorders, learning disabilities, attention problems … and it is possible that some of these subtle, early signs or needs may have been inadvertently been overlooked,” says Dr. Joanne Max, a clinical psychologist.
She says many parents and educators view boys as being more aggressive and causing more trouble than their female counterparts.
“And I think that there is a tendency to focus on boys as problems at this point, rather than recognizing that boys HAVE problems,” Dr. Max says.
“I have to stay on my child to make sure he gets his work done,” says Ryan’s mom, Donna Glasser. “I contact his teachers to see how he is doing, … drag him to different college fairs and stuff to make sure he can hear what he is going to need to go to school.”
Dr. Max tells parents that they can help their children if they notice signs of disinterest in school and slipping grades.
“I advise parents not to be a mild pest and not to be a severe pest, but to be a moderate pest,” Dr. Max says. “We need to advocate for them both within the school [and] within the home.”
Tips for Parents
Boys are trailing behind girls in school in a number of academic areas. According to the 2000 National Assessment of Education Progress (National Center for Education Statistics, 2000) and Dr. Michael Gurian of the Gurian Institute, the following statistics should raise concerns for everyone:
Two-thirds of all learning disability diagnoses are for boys.
Seventy percent of all Ds and Fs on report cards go home in boys’ backpacks – not girls.
Ninety percent of school discipline referrals are for boys.
Eighty percent of all Ritalin takers are boys.
Eighty percent of all school dropouts are boys.
Fewer than 40 percent of college students are currently male.
Girls in general are surpassing boys in school in all subjects except math and science, and even that gap has closed significantly in the past few years.
When education lapses and youth choose dropping out over staying in school, they are at risk for a number of negative outcomes, including an increased likelihood of violent and criminal behavior, the possibilities for good employment being dramatically lowered, self esteem drops, and causing suffering among families and loved ones. Youth who drop out are more likely to depend on government welfare and contribute less to society.
We need to rethink how we teach young people and how we approach the learning differences of girls and boys. Teachers, coaches, parents and all adults involved with both genders need to be aware and of the different learning styles and teaching strategies that work with boys and girls.
Experts say that parents can take steps to help their children become more interested in learning and more successful in school. The University of Illinois Extension (UIE) offers these tips to help parents provide the encouragement, environment and materials children need in order to be successful and studious.
Establish a routine for meals, bedtime and study (homework).
Provide books, supplies and a special place for studying.
Encourage your child to “ready” himself or herself for studying (refocus attention and relax).
Offer to study with your child periodically by calling out spelling words or using flash cards.
An established study routine is “very important,” especially for younger school age children. Experts say that children who develop a broad foundation of knowledge on a variety of subjects tend to find school and learning easier and more interesting than those who do not. The UIE suggests participating in the following activities with your child to help broaden his or her interests:
Watch newscasts and documentaries on television.
Rent or buy educational videos.
Visit natural history museums, science museums, art museums, children’s museums, zoos, botanical gardens and historical sites.
Sign up for a tour of a national or state park.
Read newspaper and magazine articles together.
Go to the public library.
Make every vacation a learning experience.
We all know that boys are different from girls, but recent studies of the brain are now able to demonstrate how the brain structures and functions of girls and boys are “wired differently.” Different wiring means they learn differently. To help our boys be successful, educators need to recognize how boys and girls learn differently and incorporate these changes into classrooms and schools.
Michael Gurian offers these suggestions to teachers to make their classrooms more “boy-friendly:”
Learn ways to include physical movement in the curriculum.
Don’t eliminate recess! If punishment is necessary, provide active service alternatives such as cleaning the cafeteria or some other task requiring physical activity. Try to avoid idle time.
Help boys become interested in language arts by adopting more male-friendly reading choices, including personal reading choices on topics that interest them.
Become more project-oriented in teaching rather than standard and strand-oriented. Include projects that meet the national standards, not just worksheets.
Provide male mentors. Boys’ brains respond strongly to one-on-one relationships.
And Michael Thompson, author of the book and the PBS documentary “Raising Cain” offers one more very important suggestion: Allow boys to express their sense of humor and help them find appropriate ways and times to do so.
Remember, as a parent, you are the most important teacher in your child’s life.
References
Education Week
Gurian Institute
National Center for Education Statistics
The Gender Center
University of Illinois Extension
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Exercise can Improve Grades
Source: Connect with Kids
“There is a connection between physical activity and learning and it is a positive one - children who are more physically fit do better academically. They concentrate better in the classroom [and] they perform better on math and reading examinations.”
– Dr. David Satcher, former U.S. Surgeon General
In an effort to boost test performance, many schools are taking time away from physical education and using it for more time in class.
But studies now show that rigorous physical activity can actually lead to better grades.
In Broward County, Florida, many schools are getting the message.
Fourth grade teacher Katherine Bennett takes her students out for a five-minute walk after a long lesson.
“I found that when my children start yawning and they start not paying attention, then one way I can refocus those children is to take them out for a brief, little fun walk,” she says. “And by the time we’ve got them back into the room again, they’re ready to study some more.”
In fact, according to new research from the Medical College of Georgia, kids who are active and play hard have higher levels of concentration, better organization skills and are less impulsive than kids who are sedentary.
“The area of the brain that’s involved in cognitive learning is the same area that’s stimulated by physical activity, so the two seem to work hand in hand,” explains Jackie Lund, Ph.D, President of the National Association for Sport and Physical Education.
Former U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. David Satcher agrees, “Children who are physically fit do better academically. They perform better on standardized examinations, they concentrate better, on the other hand, children who are obese are four times as likely to be depressed, very likely to be absent from school.”
What’s more, many kids say it’s easy to get distracted if you have to sit still, all day long, in school.
“After a while I just get antsy and I want to move around - cause I start to get stiff and it’s like, I want to get up and walk around,” complains 18-year-old Eric DeGreeff. “But in class you can’t really get up and walk around,”
That’s why, experts say, if your child’s school does not provide vigorous physical education, you have to speak up.
“If parents go out and demand quality physical education, where their kids are learning and they’re moving and they’re involved in activities that are going to create the next steps for a life time, then they will be heard,” says Lund.
Tips for Parents
– Dr. David Satcher, former U.S. Surgeon General
In an effort to boost test performance, many schools are taking time away from physical education and using it for more time in class.
But studies now show that rigorous physical activity can actually lead to better grades.
In Broward County, Florida, many schools are getting the message.
Fourth grade teacher Katherine Bennett takes her students out for a five-minute walk after a long lesson.
“I found that when my children start yawning and they start not paying attention, then one way I can refocus those children is to take them out for a brief, little fun walk,” she says. “And by the time we’ve got them back into the room again, they’re ready to study some more.”
In fact, according to new research from the Medical College of Georgia, kids who are active and play hard have higher levels of concentration, better organization skills and are less impulsive than kids who are sedentary.
“The area of the brain that’s involved in cognitive learning is the same area that’s stimulated by physical activity, so the two seem to work hand in hand,” explains Jackie Lund, Ph.D, President of the National Association for Sport and Physical Education.
Former U.S. Surgeon General, Dr. David Satcher agrees, “Children who are physically fit do better academically. They perform better on standardized examinations, they concentrate better, on the other hand, children who are obese are four times as likely to be depressed, very likely to be absent from school.”
What’s more, many kids say it’s easy to get distracted if you have to sit still, all day long, in school.
“After a while I just get antsy and I want to move around - cause I start to get stiff and it’s like, I want to get up and walk around,” complains 18-year-old Eric DeGreeff. “But in class you can’t really get up and walk around,”
That’s why, experts say, if your child’s school does not provide vigorous physical education, you have to speak up.
“If parents go out and demand quality physical education, where their kids are learning and they’re moving and they’re involved in activities that are going to create the next steps for a life time, then they will be heard,” says Lund.
Tips for Parents
“It is helpful to think of the brain as a muscle,” Dr. John Ratey told colleagues at a conference on “Learning and the Brain” in Boston. Dr. Ratey, a clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, says the best way to “maximize the brain” is through exercise and movement. Emerging new research on animals and humans suggests his theory may be correct. In particular, the following two studies indicate that physical exercise may boost brain function, improve mood and increase learning:
A four-year study at Albion College in Michigan shows that children who participated in regular exercise (jumping rope, hopscotch, catching and throwing balls) significantly raised their scores on standardized mathematics tests. Teachers also reported that the exercise program helped improve the students’ social and emotional skills.
A four-year study at Albion College in Michigan shows that children who participated in regular exercise (jumping rope, hopscotch, catching and throwing balls) significantly raised their scores on standardized mathematics tests. Teachers also reported that the exercise program helped improve the students’ social and emotional skills.
Investigators from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute have found that running boosts the growth of nerve cells and improves learning and memory in adult mice. According to the study, the brains of mice that exercised had about 2.5 times more new nerve cells than sedentary mice.
Says Dr. Ratey: “Twelve minutes of exercise at 85% of your maximum heart rate is like taking a little bit of Prozac and a little bit of Ritalin in a very holistic manner.”
The National Association for Sport and Physical Education (NASPE) offers the following statistics and recommendations to support that physically active children “learn better”:
Elementary school students should participate in a minimum of 60 minutes of moderate and vigorous activity every day.
Middle and high school students should participate in 30 minutes of physical activity daily.
Play is an essential part of children’s social development.
Children learn how to cooperate, compete constructively, assume leader/follower roles and resolve conflicts by interacting in play.
Only 25% of American children participate in any type of daily physical activity.
More than 300,000 deaths are caused annually by a lack of exercise and a poor diet.
How much exercise does your child need? According to the American Heart Association (AHA), a “healthy level” of physical activity requires regular participation in activities that increase heart rates above resting levels. An active child plays sports, participates in physical education classes, performs regular household chores, spends recreational time outdoors and regularly travels by foot or bicycle.
The AHA offers the following guidelines for maintaining healthy physical activity in children:
Encourage regular walking, bicycling, outdoor play, the use of playgrounds and gymnasiums and interaction with other children.
Allow no more than two hours per day to watch television or videotapes.
Promote weekly participation in age-appropriate organized sports, lessons, clubs or sandlot games.
Have your child participate in daily school or day-care physical education that includes at least 20 minutes of coordinated large-muscle exercise.
Make sure your child has access to school buildings and community facilities that enable safe participation in physical activities.
Provide opportunities for physical activities that are fun, increase confidence and involve friends and peers.
Organize regular family outings that involve walking, cycling, swimming or other recreational activities.
Engage in positive role modeling for a physically active lifestyle.
Experts say it is important for parents to remember that physical activity doesn’t have to be strenuous to be beneficial.
References
American Heart Association
Howard Hughes Medical Institute
Medical College of Georgia
National Association for Sport and Physical Education
Friday, October 31, 2008
Gay Harassment
Source: Connect with Kids
“People would push me into lockers or trip me in the hallways or throw rocks at me inside the school or throw trash at me.”
– Josh, 15 years old
Fifteen-year-old Josh is gay. He’s so afraid of bullies that he’s asked us not to show his face or reveal his full name.
“People would push me into lockers or trip me in the hallways or throw rocks at me inside the school or throw trash at me,” he recalls.
Josh is not alone. According to a report from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), nine out of 10 gay teenagers are harassed at school.
Josh was and that’s why he decided to tell his parents the truth.
“I’m gay,” he told them. “I’m getting harassed. I’m very scared in school right now—please make it stop.”
Marnie Lynch, Josh’s mom, says, “I don’t know that I can even describe the pain that I felt.”
Josh’s parents felt hurt, angry and scared.
“What my worst fear was, is that yes, he could be brutally beaten or killed because of his sexual orientation,” Lynch says.
But experts say there are ways to prevent violence against gay and lesbian students.
“It’s very important that all youth who are being harassed let the (school) administration know about it somehow, whether it’s through their parents or going directly to the administrator, or telling a teacher about it,” says Steve Epstein, a counselor who works with gay teens.
Epstein says that Josh’s parents did the right thing. They demanded action from the school’s principal and soon afterwards, the bullying ended.
“You should be able to do and be whomever you want to be,” Josh says, “and not have to endure harassment and pain and struggles from other people.”
Tips for Parents
– Josh, 15 years old
Fifteen-year-old Josh is gay. He’s so afraid of bullies that he’s asked us not to show his face or reveal his full name.
“People would push me into lockers or trip me in the hallways or throw rocks at me inside the school or throw trash at me,” he recalls.
Josh is not alone. According to a report from the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), nine out of 10 gay teenagers are harassed at school.
Josh was and that’s why he decided to tell his parents the truth.
“I’m gay,” he told them. “I’m getting harassed. I’m very scared in school right now—please make it stop.”
Marnie Lynch, Josh’s mom, says, “I don’t know that I can even describe the pain that I felt.”
Josh’s parents felt hurt, angry and scared.
“What my worst fear was, is that yes, he could be brutally beaten or killed because of his sexual orientation,” Lynch says.
But experts say there are ways to prevent violence against gay and lesbian students.
“It’s very important that all youth who are being harassed let the (school) administration know about it somehow, whether it’s through their parents or going directly to the administrator, or telling a teacher about it,” says Steve Epstein, a counselor who works with gay teens.
Epstein says that Josh’s parents did the right thing. They demanded action from the school’s principal and soon afterwards, the bullying ended.
“You should be able to do and be whomever you want to be,” Josh says, “and not have to endure harassment and pain and struggles from other people.”
Tips for Parents
Sexual orientation in adolescents has previously been linked to increased rate of victimization. Previous studies have found that those students who identified themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual had a disproportionate risk for problem behaviors, including suicide and victimization. A study by Penn State found that risk is even greater when those kids feel rejected at school.
The recent survey showed that homosexual adolescents were nearly twice as likely as straight adolescents to report a history of violent attacks and witnessing violence. In addition, gay and lesbian youth were reported to be 2.5 times more likely to report that they had taken part in violence themselves. Bisexual adolescents reported no increased levels of perpetrating violence, but were more likely than heterosexual adolescents to report witnessing violence or being victimized.
The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) cautions parents that “gay and lesbian teens can become depressed, socially isolated, withdrawn from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. They may also develop depression.” It is important for parents of gay and lesbian teens to understand their teen’s sexual orientation and provide support. The AACAP encourages parents and family members to seek understanding and support from organizations such as Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG).
The American Psychological Association provides these tips for teens who fear they may be a target of violence:
Above all, be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show warning signs of violence, such as those with a history of frequent physical fights, and those who have announced threats or plans for hurting others.
Tell someone you trust and respect about your concerns and ask for help ( a family member, guidance counselor, teacher, school physiologist, coach, clergy, or friend).
Get someone to protect you. Do not resort to violence or use a weapon to protect yourself.
References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
American Psychological Association
American Public Health Association
Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network
Pediatrics
Penn State University
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