Summer Jobs Scarce

Source: Connect with Kids

"It’s a difficult job market, but don’t give up. Look longer and work harder to find [a job]. There are some, but you’re going to have to commit yourself in a much more focused way than maybe in the past.”

– Michael Thurmond, Commissioner, Georgia Department of Labor

They look through newspapers, scan the Internet, and drive around looking for “Help Wanted” signs. There aren’t many out there.

“I looked for a summer job for probably about a month and a half,” says 16-year-old Julie Wells.

“I had an extremely hard time finding a job,” adds 16-year-old Chelsea Coleman.

They’re not alone. Experts say finding a job is going to be tough this summer.

“Our teens in this nation are facing the worst job market in recent memory … since World War II,” says Commissioner of the Georgia Department of Labor, Michael Thurmond.

This summer, experts predict most teens will not find a job, compared to eight years ago when nearly half of all teens were employed.

The reason is no surprise. As the recession ends, adults who have been unemployed for months -- or longer -- are taking low-level jobs that were once the domain of teens.

“Teenagers all across this country are being forced … to compete with better skilled, more educated adults,” says Thurmond, “and there are fewer jobs to be sought in the beginning.”

But he does have some advice. First, teens shouldn’t give up. The job search may take longer, and they may not get the job of their choice, but there are still opportunities. Second, if you can’t find a paying job, volunteer for a non-profit organization. It’s one way to show future employers that you have what it takes.

“Committed to showing up on time, doing a good job, respecting authority,” says Thurmond.

Tips for Parents

Perhaps the most difficult and most important step in getting a job may be the interview itself. There are many things you can do make a good impression with an interviewer. Consider the following, developed by the Wisconsin Department of Workforce Development (WDWD):

Do your homework on the company. Ask the personnel or business office for printed materialp; talk with an employee; check the public library; go to the company website. The more you know about the company, the better you’ll do in an interview. You’ll sound intelligent, up to date, and the interviewer may recognize the hard work you did in preparing – and that will make a more favorable impression.

Practice interviewing with a family member or friend – especially one who has been successful in getting jobs and will offer you honets feedback and helpful suggestions.

Bring your resume, a work record and names of references.

Dress conservatively – a dress, suit, or nice pants and a blouse (women) or a suit or trousers and a neat shirt (men). Do not wear "fad" or flamboyant clothes.

Report for your interview on time – and alone.

Answer the employer's questions honestly and briefly. Don't talk about personal matters unless asked. Do tell about your qualifications completely – without exaggeration.

If the first interview does not lead to a job offer, don't get discouraged. Few people get the first job they apply for – and often not the second or third, either.

Think about each interview and determine what made a good impression – and what you could improve. Some people even suggest calling the interviewer to ask for helpful feedback. Then try again for another job.

Finding summer jobs can be daunting for students. When summer break rolls around, the job market suddenly becomes saturated with adolescents all vying for the same openings. Therefore, it’s important to know what will help you most in getting a job. Experts at the WDWD have developed the following tips for you to share with your child:

For the best chance at private industry job, students should start looking in late winter or early spring. Large businesses usually have personnel offices that will take applications early. Your child should check back with the company regularly.

Sometimes students can get priority for summer jobs by working part-time or on Saturdays during the school year.

Small firms may not take applications until they are ready to hire, but checking early will let employers know your child is interested. Your child can also find out the best time to apply and what his/her chances are.

Here’s a useful exercise: have your child make a list of things he/she has to offer an employer – specific skills, personality/attitude, work or volunteer experience, and anything he/she has learned in or out of school that may be useful on a job. For example, typing skills, working around cars or machines, or helping children.

Tell your child to talk with a teacher or counselor about jobs in the area. Your child should ask how he/she can put his/her skills and talents to work. Teachers and counselors may be able to suggest fields that are right for your child.

Encourage your child to create a type of resume to give to interviewers. It should include work experience, names and addresses of previous employers, volunteer work, and personal references. Teachers and adult friends are good reference choices; relatives should not be listed. Tell your child to always ask permission before using anyone as a reference.

References
Georgia Department of Labor
Quintessential Careers
SnagAJob
Wisconsin Department of Workforce Development

Sex Talk Online

Source: Connect with Kids

“My parents have no idea what’s going on or anything. I think parents should know, because obviously there’s a lot of stuff going on.”

– Chris, age 16

On a lazy afternoon, when their parents aren’t around, friends Gareth, Minh and Chris enjoy some innocent fun.

But when they log onto the Internet, what they find in chat rooms is anything but innocent.

“Just stuff like flat out, like ‘I want to have sex with you, I want to **** you, I want to do this, I want to do that,” says 17-year-old Minh, who has surfed the web for about six years.

“She was saying stuff like ooh, I’m touching myself now, what are you doing. It’s like, you know, way out of bounds,” says Chris, 16.

It’s shocking, but experts say it’s not uncommon. According to a new survey, 20 percent of teens say they’ve taken nude photos of themselves and either posted them online or sent them out via email.

“Kids are horny, I mean it just seems like they want to do more of that,” says 17-year-old Gareth.

Parents may feel inclined to simply shut down the computer, but experts say curious kids will find a way to get online. Instead, over and over, starting when they’re little, parents need to insist their kids be responsible in all their decisions- whether on the Internet or not.

“It’s not that you specifically are able to prepare a child for internet and chat rooms but it’s how you connect with your kid and try to prepare them for all aspects of life,” explains psychologist Vincent Ho, Ph.D.

Tips for Parents

Pornography is not merely a fringe-element problem, and addiction to it is not just a stage in life. It is a very real and mainstream problem today. Consider the following statistics from 2003:

The pornography industry made $57 billion worldwide; $12 billion in the United States.
Porn revenue is larger than the combined revenues of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.

U.S. porn revenue is nearly double the combined revenues of the three biggest television networks (ABC, CBS and NBC revenues total $6.2 billion).

Child pornography generates $3 billion annually.

Nearly one out of every eight websites is a pornographic site (4.2 million in all).

One-quarter of all Internet search engine requests are for pornography (68 million per day).

Over two billion pornographic e-mails are sent daily.

The average age of the first exposure to Internet pornography is 11 years old.

The largest consumers of Internet pornography are 12- to 17-year-olds.

Eighty percent of teenagers ages 15 to 17 report having multiple hardcore exposures to pornography on the Internet.

Nine out of 10 children 8 to 16 years old have viewed pornography online, mostly while doing homework.

In the past, pornography was mainly limited to artwork, magazines and the red-light districts. With the advent of the Internet and cable television, however, pornography has now made its way into our family rooms, home offices and kids’ bedrooms. It is easily – and often inadvertently -- accessible by children and teenagers, and parents must work even harder to prevent their children from becoming addicted to it.

The best cure for addiction is prevention. Experts at the Jacob Wetterling Foundation developed the following tips to help parents prevent their children from becoming addicted to pornography:

Place home computers in a central area of the house, not a child’s bedroom or secluded area. Make surfing the Internet a family experience.

Talk with your children about what they can and cannot do online, while trying to understand their needs, interests and curiosity.

Know your child's password and screen names; they may have more than one.
Set reasonable time limits on computer use, and ensure that your children adhere to the limitations.

Parents (not children) should always establish and maintain an Internet service provider account (AOL, Earthlink, MSN), and the account should always be in a parent’s name (not a child’s). This ensures that a parent can legally maintain control of the account’s use and can access records if necessary. If an account is set up in a child's name, it may be difficult, if not impossible, to obtain account information without the child's permission.

You should also realize that children may be accessing the Internet from outside the home, such as friend's homes, work, libraries and school.

Be open with your children and encourage them to come to you if they encounter a problem online.

Explore filtering and blocking software, which is used to sort information on the Internet and classify it according to content. A major drawback is that some filtering may block innocent sites, while many "negative" sites still get past the filters. Though these programs can be great assets, parents still need to maintain open communication with their children to inform and protect them.

Many parents may suspect their children of being sexually addicted, but may not be sure of the warning signs. Victor Cline, Ph.D., an expert on pornography and its effects, encourages parents to be on the lookout for the following symptoms of sexual addiction:

A pattern of out-of-control sexual behavior
Experiencing severe consequences due to sexual behavior, and an inability to stop despite these adverse consequences

Persistent pursuit of self-destructive behavior

Ongoing desire or effort to limit sexual behavior

Sexual obsession and fantasy as a primary coping strategy

Regularly increasing the amount of sexual experience because the current level of activity is no longer satisfying

Severe mood changes related to sexual activity

Inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual and/or recovering from sexual experiences

Neglect of important social, occupational or recreational activities because of sexual behavior
If you discover your child viewing pornography or you know it is a problem in his/her life, reassure him/her. Let your child know that while you don’t agree with the use of pornography, you still love them and expect them to do better. Rob Jackson, a professional counselor specializing in sexual addiction and codependency, suggests taking the following four-area approach to prevent the possibility of your child using pornography in the future:

Behavioral – Behavioral approaches attempt to prevent a scenario from developing in the first place. The house and grounds, for example, should be purged of all pornography. Media should be carefully screened for “triggers” that serve as gateways to acting-out. If the problem occurred with the Internet, a filter can be one of your strategies, although it can never replace parental supervision and involvement. Other common sense approaches include moving the computer to the family room where others can easily view the screen, limiting the time on the computer and making sure no one is alone on the Internet, and developing a mission statement that directs the family’s use of the computer and the Internet.

Cognitive – Pornography generates destructive myths about sexuality. Once your child is exposed, it will be critically important to initiate a comprehensive sex education program, if you have not already done so. The child will need to learn what and how to think about sexuality. More than mere behaviors, parents will want to communicate the core values of sexuality, the multifaceted risks of sex outside of marriage, and their ongoing compassion for what it must be like to grow up in this culture.

Emotive – Sex is inherently emotional. Premarital sex has even been linked with codependency, where at least one person becomes compelled or addicted to be in relationship with another. The youth culture would lead you to believe that sex is not necessarily emotional for them – don’t believe it. Sexual relations of any type bond the bodies, minds and spirits of two individuals. At the conscious level, this attachment is largely emotional. Your children need to understand that emotional attachment is often involuntary, and especially when the relationship has been compromised sexually.

Spiritual – At its core, sexual integrity comes down to a spiritual commitment. Share your beliefs with your children, and explain to them the reasons to avoid the trappings of pornography. A strong spiritual foundation can be the best prevention method against pornography.

References
Berkman Center for Internet and Society
Jacob Wetterling Foundation
Pure Intimacy
TeenHealthFX

Teen Depression

Source: Connect with Kids

“Just this gloom was like hanging over my head and I knew something wasn’t right but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.”

– Amy, 16 years old

New research from Columbia University finds that nearly 50 percent of teens suffer from some form of depression, anxiety, or a number of other psychiatric disorders.

“A lot of people I know get depressed all the time about lots of stuff,” says 15-year-old Meagan.

“It’s like everything’s all on your shoulders and you have to take everything at once,” says Meredith, 14.

Sixteen-year-old Amy agrees, “Just this gloom was like hanging over my head and I knew something wasn’t right but I wasn’t exactly sure what it was.”

“My parents went through an awful divorce my ninth grade year and I was devastated, worse than my heart could ever imagine,” says 18-year-old Brittany, “and it hurts a lot, and I still hurt to this day and I’m a senior in H.S.”

The symptoms vary: some kids may be lethargic and withdrawn; others may show agitation and frustration, even aggression. Often, there is a drop in grades.

And sometimes these symptoms can cause parents to punish the child, instead of providing treatment.

“Rather than thinking of children’s misbehaviors as discipline problems or misbehaviors as deliberate,” says psychologist Sunaina Jain, Ph.D., “it’s important to see them as communications from the child.”

Experts say lots of kids experience depression or anxiety, often mild and temporary, but not always. And that’s why parents need to constantly check their child’s emotional pulse.

“You know it doesn’t take hours and hours. Even a few minutes of checking in with each other every day is a great way of saying you know I’m here, I’m interested in you,” says Jain.

Tips for Parents

All teens experience ups and downs. Every day poses a new test of their emotional stability – fighting with a friend, feeling peer pressure to “fit in” with a particular crowd or experiencing anxiety over a failed quiz – all of which can lead to normal feelings of sadness or grief. These feelings are usually brief and subside with time, unlike depression, which is more than feeling blue, sad or down in the dumps once in a while.

According to the Nemours Foundation, depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months or even longer. It also interferes with a person’s ability to participate in normal activities. Often, depression in teens is overlooked because parents and teachers feel that unhappiness or “moodiness” is typical in young people. They blame hormones or other factors for teens’ feelings of sadness or grief, which leaves many teens undiagnosed and untreated for their illness.

The Mayo Clinic reports that sometimes a stressful life event triggers depression. Other times, it seems to occur spontaneously, with no identifiable specific cause. However, certain risk factors may be associated with developing the disorder. Johns Hopkins University cites the following risk factors for becoming depressed:

Children under stress who have experienced loss or who suffer attention, learning or conduct disorders are more susceptible to depression.
Girls are more likely than boys to develop depression.
Youth, particularly younger children, who develop depression are likely to have a family history of the disorder.

Possible Symptoms:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation or anxiety
Pessimism or indifference
Loss of energy or persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Inability to concentrate and indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests or social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide
It is important to acknowledge that teens may experiment with drugs or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous to avoid feelings of depression. According to the National Mental Health Association, teens may also express their depression through other hostile, aggressive, risk-taking behaviors. These behaviors will only lead to new problems, deeper levels of depression and destroyed relationships with friends and family, as well as difficulties with law enforcement or school officials.

The development of newer antidepressant medications and mood-stabilizing drugs in the last 20 years has revolutionized the treatment of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, and it has become the first line of treatment for most types of the disorder. Psychotherapy may also help teens cope with ongoing problems that trigger or contribute to their depression. A combination of medications and a brief course of psychotherapy are usually effective if a teen suffers from mild to moderate depression. For severely depressed teens, initial treatment usually includes medications. Once they improve, psychotherapy can be more effective.

Immediate treatment of your teen’s depression is crucial. Adolescents and children suffering from depression may turn to suicide if they do not receive proper treatment. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for Americans aged 10-24. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests looking for the following warning signs that may indicate your depressed teen if contemplating suicide:

Suicide notes: Notes or journal entries are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.

Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die.” “I am going to kill myself”) or indirect comments (“The world would be better without me.” “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.

Previous attempts: If your child or teen has attempted suicide in the past, a greater likelihood that he or she will try again exists. Be very observant of any friends who have tried suicide before.

Depression (helplessness/hopelessness): When symptoms of depression include strong thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness, your teen is possibly at greater risk for suicide. Watch out for behaviors or comments that indicate your teen is feeling overwhelmed by sadness or pessimistic views of his or her future.

“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse. While this behavior may not appear to be depression, in fact it may suggest that your teen is not concerned about his or her own safety.

Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms. In adolescents, it might be giving away prized possessions, such as jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.
Efforts to hurt himself or herself: Self-injury behaviors are warning signs for young children as well as teens. Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic; jumping from heights; and scratching, cutting or marking his or her body.

Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, sudden weight gain or loss and lack of interest in appearance or hygiene.

Sudden changes in personality, friends or behaviors: Changes can include withdrawing from friends and family, skipping school or classes, loss of involvement in activities that were once important and avoiding friends.

Plan/method/access: A suicidal child or adolescent may show an increased interest in guns and other weapons, may seem to have increased access to guns, pills, etc., and/or may talk about or hint at a suicide plan. The greater the planning, the greater the potential for suicide.
Death and suicidal themes: These themes might appear in classroom drawings, work samples, journals or homework.

If you suspect suicide, it is important to contact a medical professional immediately. A counselor or psychologist can also help offer additional support.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Foundation for Suicidal Prevention
Columbia University
Johns Hopkins University
Mayo Clinic
National Association of School Psychologists
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association
National Institute of Mental Health
National Mental Health Association
Nemours Foundation
Thomson-Reuters

Which Battles You Pick?

Source: Connect with Kids

“I love shocking [people], because I’m something somebody will remember.”

– Sara Jackson, 16 years old

Teenagers are freedom seekers, risk-takers and rule breakers. Pushing limits is just what teenagers do. “I love the rush. I love the freedom,” says 17-year-old Alan Oliver.

Sixteen-year-old Sara Jackson agrees that breaking rules and taking chances is a rush. “It’s something I take great pride in. I love shocking [people], because I’m something somebody will remember.”

When kids become teens, they start breaking away, trying new things and taking chances. For Sara, that means wearing funky clothes and crazy hairdos. People, especially adults, notice Sara’s wild style.

“They come up to me and say you’re looking kind of crazy today. What’s going on with the whole style thing?” she says.

But some kids find other, more dangerous ways to show their independence. They take risks. Dan O’brien got involved in drugs and alcohol. “I mean, every time I drank, I drank to get drunk,” he says.

Ed Drury, age 17, gets his rush from speeding. Standing around with friends at his favorite Friday night hangout, Ed admits why he likes to come here. “There’s always a lot of racing, a lot of speeding.”

Experts confirm what most of us already know. Teenagers oftentimes don’t think about the consequences of their actions. Says Dr. Nancy Macgarrah: “It’s this whole sense of invulnerability tied with the lack of maturity. “

Since we know teenagers are going to take chances, experts say it’s wise to be strict on the issues that reallymatter.

“You know, it’s not so much … is your hair orange or purple or do you have two earrings or three earrings. I mean, those aren’t life-ending decisions, but whether you wear seatbelts or not, whether you drink and drive or not, you know whether you drive 20 miles over the speed limit. And those all can be life-ending decisions,” Dr. Macgarrah says.

For kids like Sara, dressing funky, doing wild things with their hair and just being a little different all satisfy the need for independence.

“When I spike my hair, it makes me feel good about myself. I like it. It’s something different. It lets people know what kind of person I am,” Sara says.

Tips for Parents

The most difficult challenges many parents face, according to the American Psychological Association, come during their children’s teenage years. Teenagers, dealing with a complex world and hormonal changes, may feel that no one can understand their feelings, least of all their parents. Teens and parents alike may be left feeling angry, frustrated and confused. The APA says methods of discipline that worked well in earlier years no longer seem to be effective. As a result, the teen years are “ripe” for producing conflict in the family. Typical areas of conflict may include:

Disputes over curfew
Choice of friends
Spending time with family instead of friends
School and work performance
Cars and driving privileges
Dating and sexuality
Clothing, hair styles and makeup
Self-destructive behaviors, such as smoking, drinking and using drugs

The teen years are tough, but most families seem to be successful at helping their children accomplish their developmental goals: reducing dependence on parents while becoming increasingly responsible and independent. However, the APA does list some warning signs that things are not going well and that the family may want to seek outside help:

Aggressive behavior or violence by the teen
Drug or alcohol abuse
Promiscuity
School truancy
Brushes with the law or runaway behavior

Parents resorting to hitting or other violence in an attempt to maintain discipline

There are different styles and approaches to parenting. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, research shows that effective parents raise well-adjusted children who are more self-reliant, self-controlled and positively curious than children raised by parents who are punitive, overly strict (authoritarian) or permissive. Effective parents demonstrate the following behaviors:

Believe that both the child and the parents have certain rights and that the needs of both are important
Rule out the use physical force to discipline the child
Set clear rules and explain why these rules are important
Reason with the child and consider the child’s point of view even though they may not agree with it

Tips for effective discipline:

Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of your child’s age and stage of development.
Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.
Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone were reprimanding you. Don’t resort to name-calling, yelling or other disrespectful behavior.
Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.
Model positive behavior. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works.
Allow for negotiation and flexibility, which can help build your child’s social skills.
Let your child experience the consequences of his or her behavior.
Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.
Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child’s age.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Psychological Association
Temple University

Gay Teen Comes Out by Connect with Kids

“A lot of gay kids think there's something wrong with them for being gay. And it's hard whenever your parents think there's something wrong with you, too. You’re kind of like, 'Oh God there really is!' And they just need someone to come up to them and give them a hug.”

– Kerry Pacer, 16

Kerry Pacer says to her Mom Savannah, “I knew you’d love me always, but I just didn’t know how you’d accept it, like if you’d be like, ‘Okay, I accept that you’re gay’ or if you’d be like, ‘You’re NOT gay.’”

Kerry was 12 years old when she first told her Mom. Savannah says, “When you say to me, ‘I’m gay’…I’m thinking ‘Okay…you think you’re gay…you’re 12 years old…we’ll see if it lasts.’”

It did last. And what Kerry wanted most was for her mom to accept her.

Kerry says, “A lot of gay kids think there’s something wrong with them for being gay. And it’s hard whenever your parents think there’s something wrong with you, too. You’re kind of like, ‘Oh God there really is!’”

Experts say finding out that your child is gay can be a difficult moment. They add, think before you react… because what you say will be remembered for years.

Bruce Nelson is the co-president of the Atlanta chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. He says, “This kid that they’ve given birth to, they raised from an infant, worried about, cared about, spent a lot of money on, a lot of time with … if you over-react, if you panic, if you don’t get the facts, if you don’t understand what’s going on…than you’re at risk of throwing all that away.”

Experts say take things slow. You don’t have to tell people until you are ready.

Savannah says, “I’d say you know, we live in a small town. We live in a conservative small town, and maybe you don’t want to tell everyone you’re gay just because you’ll get a lot of negative feedback.”

Kerry does tell people. That means she and her sister, get teased and taunted at school. Kerry says, “Here people say ‘lesbian’ or ‘dirty lesbian’ when you walk by them in the hall.” Her younger sister Lindsay says, “People are like, ‘Has she ever tried to kiss you?’ And I’m like, ‘No, she’s still my sister. It’s like has your brother ever tried to kiss you?’”

Her mom says she can’t stop the hurt. All she can do is love and accept. Savannah says, “Even though I maybe can’t take back the things that people have said to her or done to her, she knows she’s coming to a place where she’s going to get understanding.”

Experts say it can be helpful to join a support group such as Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. They also suggest reviewing literature designed for parents of a gay child.

Tips for Parents

The teenage years are a time of extraordinary challenges and opportunities. As teens explore their growing independence and sense of identity they must overcome a number of developmental milestones, such as developing social skills, thinking about career choices and fitting into a peer groups. Gay, lesbian and bisexual adolescents, however, must often navigate these developmental waters in the face of additional problems and concerns not typically faced by other teens, such as:

Feeling different from peers

Feeling guilty about their sexual orientation

Worrying about the response from their families and loved ones

Being teased and ridiculed by their peers

Worrying about AIDS, HIV infection and other sexually transmitted diseases

Fearing discrimination when joining clubs, sports, seeking admission to college and finding employment

Being rejected and harassed by others

In particular, studies show that gay and lesbian teens are more likely to report having missed school due to fear, having their property damaged at school and being threatened by other students. It is little wonder that these students often become socially isolated, withdraw from activities and friends, have trouble concentrating, and develop low self-esteem. Some researchers report gay, lesbian and bisexual teens report high rates of depression and account for a significant number of deaths by suicide in adolescence.

Teaching a child the dangers of harassment and/or bullying behavior based upon sexual preference can be a very difficult process for some parents. As with other discussions, there are a number of things that parents can do to make the discussion a little easier and more effective.

Parents need to inform themselves before they talk with their kids. Parents need to get the facts about homosexuality and need to be prepared to share the facts their kids in an age-appropriate manner.

Parents need to come to grips with their own feelings regarding gays, lesbians and bisexuals, and to share those values with their children in the context of the discussion. For many parents, this is the most difficult aspect of the conversation, and there are no easy answers to the problem.

Parents should remember they don’t have to condone the behavior to love their child.

Parents need to maintain a calm and non-critical atmosphere for the discussion. Try to use words that are comfortable and familiar when talking to kids about important topics. Parents should also try to encourage the child to talk and ask questions. They need to know that they can talk about things with the parents freely and without fear of consequence.

It is important for parents to search for a support group of other parents who share their same concerns and are facing the same issues. If one is not available in your area, organize one. The sharing of ideas and fears can help alleviate anxiety and give parents ideas and thoughts they may not have realized otherwise.

References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
American Psychological Association
American Public Health Association
Family Acceptance Project
Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
Pediatrics