As usual, Connect with Kids offers valuable articles for parents. This week they touch on the critical subject of our kids and the Internet. I know first hand the pros and cons of Cyberspace, however the challenge is getting our children to understand how important it is to protect yourself online and know that the Internet has a vast amount of great information but like with many things in life, you need to be aware of the pitfalls that may come with it.
Source Connect with Kids
“I wasn’t like other kids, you know, they had the Internet at home and I didn’t, so I felt like I was being deprived of something.”
– Ashley, 16 years old
Sixteen-year-old Ashley has always been a good student, but two years ago, she became a better student.
“In my history class, where we had to do a lot of research, I went from a B to an A,” she says.
What made the difference? Ashley believes it was her increased use of the Internet. She always had Web access at school but not at home.
“I wasn’t like other kids, you know, they had the Internet at home and I didn’t, so I felt like I was being deprived of something,” Ashley says.
Researchers, funded by the MacArthur Foundation, observed over 800 teens and their parents. The study found that, sure enough, parents think that spending hours online is unproductive for kids. But, the study also found that online teenagers are learning- socially, technologically … and academically.
“They are spending more time looking at text, so certainly they are going to be exposed to more reading opportunities,“ says Christine Colborne, an English teacher.
“You have to read through the websites,” Ashley says. “You have to read through the links and everything like that. So it does improve reading skills. And I think it improves vocabulary.”
But some experts warn parents to be cautious. Simply having online access is not a guarantee your child is learning.
“Many students are on the Internet simply in chat rooms. They are on the Internet looking up graphical material. They are looking up websites that are not text intensive where they are purchasing things or they are looking up pictures or downloading pictures,” Colborne says.
Ashley’s parents have set up filters on her computer that limit her access to inappropriate sites. Still, she says having the Internet at her fingertips at school and at home has opened a world of opportunities.
“I’m able to meet new friends, new people … to explore new subjects that I never knew about,” she says.
Tips for Parents
Another study by Michigan State University found that contrary to popular belief, spending time surfing the Internet can actually be beneficial to children. The study, which analyzed the Internet use of 120 parents and 140 children, found no negative effect on users’ social involvement or psychological well-being. In fact, researchers say that Internet use actually increased the children’s grade-point averages and standardized test scores.
As a parent, you are faced with the monumental task of monitoring the activities of your child in a world of virtually unlimited sources of information. One of the most expansive, confusing and frightening sources of information available to children today is the Internet.
You can take a number of steps to communicate the appropriate use of the Internet and other technologies to your child. The Cyber Citizen Partnership offers these tips for setting Internet limits for your child:
Be aware of your child’s computer skills and interests. Remember that it takes only a little knowledge to wreak a lot of havoc. Often, kids will develop technical skills and look for ways to challenge themselves.
Focus your child’s interests. If you recognize that your child is interested in exploring computer technology, you can reinforce positive behavior and encourage positive applications of this interest. Ideas include encouraging emailing with friends and family to become comfortable with appropriate and respectful online communication; recommending that your child adopt a position of responsibility in school as a computer monitor to assist classmates with computer use; fostering creative computer use by developing a personal or family website; or suggesting participation in school or community programs that teach in-depth technological skills or offer challenging technical opportunities.
Explore the Internet together. Ask your child to teach you about the Internet, visit educational sites, email questions and participate in online discussions together.
Take advantage of teachable moments. When events or activities arise that provide the right time and place to do so, take advantage of these moments to help your child understand the issues involved in good cyber citizenship. For example, take time to read news articles about hacking or cyber crime incidents to your child and discuss the impact it has had on those involved. Use personal situations to frame the context of these discussions (e.g., ask your child how cyber crimes or irresponsible online behavior could affect friends and family). Address cyber ethics messages as your child conducts research online or shares his experiences on computers at school.
References
Cyber Citizen Partnership
Michigan State University
University of California-Irvine
Showing posts with label Parenting Online. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting Online. Show all posts
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Cyberbullying
Source: Connect with Kids
“I’d block them, but then they’d have another screen name and they’d be like ‘you’re a whore, you can’t get away from this’… It would just bring me to tears and I would cry because I couldn’t get away from it as much as I tried.”
– Erica Bryant, 18 years old
Everyday at school, Erica Bryant was harassed. “They’d call me a slut, call me a whore.”
The bullying became too much, so her parents decided to have her home schooled.
“So, sure, a huge part of the problem was resolved in that she didn’t have to face that trauma everyday, she didn’t have to sit in the lunchroom by herself,” explains her mom, Linda Perloff, “but what we didn’t expect was the power of the Internet …we didn’t expect the instant messaging.”
Erica explains her frustration: “I’d block them, but then they’d have another screen name and they’d be like ‘you’re a whore, you can’t get away from this. It would just bring me to tears and I would cry because I couldn’t get away from it, as much as I tried.”
Experts say cyber bullying can be even more painful and pervasive than face-to-face harassment.
“You can never really get away from it,” explains pediatrician Dr. Ken Haller, “because even if you’re not on the Internet checking out what people are saying about you, other people are.”
But, experts say, there are ways to minimize attacks online.
First, make sure your child doesn’t post anything revealing.
“If they’re thinking, I’m just putting this out there for my friends to read, they don’t realize that anyone can pick this up and someone who might be a potential bully would say, ‘Ah! I’m going to use this. This is great’,” says Haller.
Experts say if the cyber bullying doesn’t stop- print the messages out and show them to the bully’s parents. If the messages are threatening, go to the police.
“I always encourage parents to talk to your local law enforcement agency and run it by them,” says Judy Freeman, a school social worker. “Many times they say, ‘well, we really can’t do anything,’ but if it’s - if it borders onto harassment or if there’s some threat involved, they will become involved.”
Erica is now in a new school. The harassment has stopped- at least for her.
“If I see it happen to other girls I’m not going to sit by and watch,” she says. “I’m going to get involved and put an end to it.”
Tips for Parents
– Erica Bryant, 18 years old
Everyday at school, Erica Bryant was harassed. “They’d call me a slut, call me a whore.”
The bullying became too much, so her parents decided to have her home schooled.
“So, sure, a huge part of the problem was resolved in that she didn’t have to face that trauma everyday, she didn’t have to sit in the lunchroom by herself,” explains her mom, Linda Perloff, “but what we didn’t expect was the power of the Internet …we didn’t expect the instant messaging.”
Erica explains her frustration: “I’d block them, but then they’d have another screen name and they’d be like ‘you’re a whore, you can’t get away from this. It would just bring me to tears and I would cry because I couldn’t get away from it, as much as I tried.”
Experts say cyber bullying can be even more painful and pervasive than face-to-face harassment.
“You can never really get away from it,” explains pediatrician Dr. Ken Haller, “because even if you’re not on the Internet checking out what people are saying about you, other people are.”
But, experts say, there are ways to minimize attacks online.
First, make sure your child doesn’t post anything revealing.
“If they’re thinking, I’m just putting this out there for my friends to read, they don’t realize that anyone can pick this up and someone who might be a potential bully would say, ‘Ah! I’m going to use this. This is great’,” says Haller.
Experts say if the cyber bullying doesn’t stop- print the messages out and show them to the bully’s parents. If the messages are threatening, go to the police.
“I always encourage parents to talk to your local law enforcement agency and run it by them,” says Judy Freeman, a school social worker. “Many times they say, ‘well, we really can’t do anything,’ but if it’s - if it borders onto harassment or if there’s some threat involved, they will become involved.”
Erica is now in a new school. The harassment has stopped- at least for her.
“If I see it happen to other girls I’m not going to sit by and watch,” she says. “I’m going to get involved and put an end to it.”
Tips for Parents
Children are increasingly using new technologies in school, at the library, at home and in after-school activities.
A recent study estimated that nearly 10 million children are online.
Over one quarter of U.S. classrooms have Internet access, and 78 percent of schools have some kind of access to the Internet.
Two out of three public libraries provide computers and Internet access for public use.
Because bullying – including online bullying – can be such an emotional issue, experts say it is extremely important to open the lines of communication with your kids. This can include …
Starting to talk with them early.
Initiating conversations.
Creating an open environment.
Communicating your values.
Listening to your child.
Trying to be honest.
Being patient.
Sharing your experiences.
Also, watch for behavioral changes. Children who are suffering from teasing and bullying may try to hide the hurt. They become withdrawn from family and friends, lose interest in hobbies, and may turn to destructive habits like alcohol, drugs, and acts of violence.
While bullying, harassment and teasing are unfortunate aspects of childhood, you can help minimize these occurrences by raising non-violent children. The American Academy of Pediatrics cites the following tips for curbing hurtful behavior in your child:
Give your child consistent love and attention. Every child needs a strong, loving relationship with a parent or other adult to feel safe and secure and to develop a sense of trust. Without a steady bond to a caring adult, a child is at risk for becoming hostile, difficult and hard to manage.
Make sure your child is supervised. A child depends on his or her parents and family members for encouragement, protection and support as he or she learns to think for him or herself.
Without proper supervision, your child will not receive the guidance he or she needs. Studies report that unsupervised children often have behavior problems.
Monitor your child’s Internet use. If your child knows you are watching, he/she is less likely to take part in cyber-bullying. Also, encourage him/her to avoid using chat rooms with violent or derogatory conversations.
Show your child appropriate behaviors by the way you act. Children often learn by example. The behavior, values and attitudes of parents and siblings have a strong influence on them. Be firm with your child about the possible dangers of violent behavior and language. Also, remember to praise your child when he or she solves problems constructively without violence.
Be consistent about rules and discipline. When you make a rule, stick to it. Your child needs structure with clear expectations for his or her behavior. Setting rules and then not enforcing them is confusing and sets up your child to “see what he or she can get away with.”
Try to keep your child from seeing violence in the home or community. Violence in the home can be frightening and harmful to children. A child who has seen violence at home does not always become violent, but he or she may be more likely to try to resolve conflicts with violence.
Try to keep your child from seeing too much violence in the media. Watching a lot of violence on television, in the movies and in video games can lead children to behave aggressively. As a parent, you can control the amount of violence your child sees in the media by limiting television viewing and previewing games, movies, etc., before allowing access to them by your child.
Help your child stand up against violence. Support your child in standing up against violence.
Teach him or her to respond with calm but firm words when others insult or threaten another person. Help your child understand that it takes more courage and leadership to resist violence than to go along with it.
References
Kaiser Family Foundation
Talking With Your Kids
British Medical Journal
American Academy of Pediatrics
University of California- Los Angeles
Friday, July 11, 2008
Web Friends Over Real Friends by Connect with Kids
“All of these kinds of social worlds helps develop their ability to interact with people, and particularly, to do things like post a comment that might be a little controversial for example, and see what kind of reactions they get.”
– Larry Rosen, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology
Like many teens, Matt has tons of friends online. “My buddy list is full. It over 200 people in there. And it’s just all these people that have the same interests as me that I would have never met, if I just, you know, that don’t go to my school. They’re just around the country.”
According to a recent online survey, one in four kids say their internet friendships are equally or more important than friends met in person.
“Yeah, I mean, like. Cause of the internet, I’ve, you know, that’s where I found my social group, and I really kinda found out about myself,” agrees Matt.
But are these relationships healthy?
Experts say, on one hand, they give kids an opportunity to try out different personalities without consequence. “Kids are struggling to find out who they are. And who they are is in a lot of dimensions,” explains Professor of Psychology, Dr. Larry Rosen. “Who they are personally, what their skills are, but mostly it’s who they are in a social context, and that’s why these online social worlds like MySpace, all of these kinds of social worlds helps develop their ability to interact with people, and particularly, to do things like post a comment that might be a little controversial for example, and see what kind of reactions they get.”
But, on the other hand, Rosen says, like most things in life moderation is key.
“Because being in the virtual world, being in front of a screen all day is not sufficient for good teenage socialization. You need to have a combination of a screen life, and a real life,” he explains. “And so a good parent will make some sort of boundaries that say okay, you can have screen time, but after a certain amount of screen time you have to have some real outdoor time. Or some real communication time. And you can’t talk on the phone, it has to be face to face. You have to come talk to me, you have to go outside and hang out with some friends – you have to do something that’s in the real world.”
Tips for Parents
– Larry Rosen, Ph.D., Professor of Psychology
Like many teens, Matt has tons of friends online. “My buddy list is full. It over 200 people in there. And it’s just all these people that have the same interests as me that I would have never met, if I just, you know, that don’t go to my school. They’re just around the country.”
According to a recent online survey, one in four kids say their internet friendships are equally or more important than friends met in person.
“Yeah, I mean, like. Cause of the internet, I’ve, you know, that’s where I found my social group, and I really kinda found out about myself,” agrees Matt.
But are these relationships healthy?
Experts say, on one hand, they give kids an opportunity to try out different personalities without consequence. “Kids are struggling to find out who they are. And who they are is in a lot of dimensions,” explains Professor of Psychology, Dr. Larry Rosen. “Who they are personally, what their skills are, but mostly it’s who they are in a social context, and that’s why these online social worlds like MySpace, all of these kinds of social worlds helps develop their ability to interact with people, and particularly, to do things like post a comment that might be a little controversial for example, and see what kind of reactions they get.”
But, on the other hand, Rosen says, like most things in life moderation is key.
“Because being in the virtual world, being in front of a screen all day is not sufficient for good teenage socialization. You need to have a combination of a screen life, and a real life,” he explains. “And so a good parent will make some sort of boundaries that say okay, you can have screen time, but after a certain amount of screen time you have to have some real outdoor time. Or some real communication time. And you can’t talk on the phone, it has to be face to face. You have to come talk to me, you have to go outside and hang out with some friends – you have to do something that’s in the real world.”
Tips for Parents
Most adults have an Internet-usage history that dates back no more than ten to fifteen years. But those growing up since the emergence of the Internet potentially could have their entire lives documented online. New parents can post online baby books for under $15 annually. Images once stored on a bookshelf at Grandma’s house can be available to the world without password protection. With Bunk1, the same can be said for memories of summer camp.
It is increasingly common for teens to have their own website. Many of these sites have a “blog”, where the owner can post running thoughts on a daily basis. Although some sites, like MySpace.com and LiveJournal.com, require users to be registered, membership is free and easy to obtain. If your child has a blog, encourage them to protect their blog so that can be read only by the friends and family they approve. Consider the following …
Only 10 percent of families posting their baby’s photos have the site protected with a password.
Many employers and colleges will enter a prospective applicant’s name in an Internet search engine to research their web presence.
Remind your child that not only friends and strangers, but also his or her parents, will be reading the blog.
Regularly monitor your child’s blog and immediately discuss any uncomfortable or inappropriate posts with your child.
It is very important to discuss various aspects of safety with your child, including the Internet and availability of information. Cite modern advances that have changed the world within the child’s lifetime and memory. Explain to your child that while your embarrassing photos and writings might be stored in a closet, an attic or even at Grandma’s home, the electronic versions your child might have will be much more accessible to anyone interested. Also, keep the following in mind:
If you do opt to post family photos online, be sure to place the images on a secure, password-protected site.
Search for names on an Internet search engine with your child to show him/her the possible places his/her information could be found.
Show your child how far e-mails, especially jokes and chain messages, can travel.
Monitor your child’s web usage and posts. An online diary usually does not have the same rights to privacy as a bound, handwritten journal because the online version is accessible to members of the public outside your home.
Know what posts, if any, you are able to delete from your child’s blog.
References
A Parent’s Guide to Internet Safety
Pew Internet and American Life Project
Kids Help Phone
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Sue Scheff - Parents Universal Resource Experts - Screen Kids
New research shows that each week our children spend five hours online, six hours on the phone, eight hours playing video games, 12 hours listening to music, and 30 hours watching TV or movies. The American Medical Association reports that five million kids are addicted to videogames.
This program explores the dangers in the technology that has overtaken our kids’ lives. The profiles include four siblings constantly fighting over use of the family computer, a teenager whose addiction to online pornography started when he was 12 years old, and another teen who got hooked on Internet gambling and is now paying off $18,000 in credit card debt.
The program also examines choices parents can make about how to protect their children from these hazards; the research is clear that one parenting style is far more effective than several others.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Sue Scheff - Internet Video Bullying by Connect with Kids
“It never goes away. It’s a permanent record of your stupidity.”
– Griff, 17
Here’s a recipe for trouble: start with a teenager’s impulsive brain, add in a little peer pressure, a video camera and the Internet, and the results are violent assaults, dangerous crashes, and outrageous stunts – all captured on video and posted online.
On one website, there are videos of kids crashing while rollerblading … skiing while tied to a car … shooting fireworks at a friend.
“I saw this video of two friends, where one guy put himself in a garbage can and his friend pushed him down the street, and then it was going and going, and then bam! he just hit the door,” says Donte, 15.
In other news, eight Florida teens were arrested recently for beating up another teen. How did the police catch them? The teens posted the video of the assault online.
Because of the popularity of video-sharing sites such as YouTube, experts say that each week, kids try even more dangerous stunts to gain their 15 minutes of fame.
“It’s one-upmanship almost,” says Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert. “They say, ‘Well, he jumped off a 10-foot ladder … I’m going to do him one better. I’m going to jump off a 15-foot ladder.’ And then it will be a 20-foot and then a 30-foot [ladder].”
“They could say, ‘I jumped off my roof.’ And if someone doesn’t believe them, they could say, ‘Well, go check my Myspace. I have a video,’” says Derek, 15.
Experts say parents should explain that stunts are not just dangerous -- they may also have life-long consequences.
“You could do something stupid and then say, ‘I’m going to erase it.’ But you have to realize that [the video] could have been reproduced by hundreds if not thousands of people who have seen it,” says Phipps.
“It could have all sorts of effects, like when you are trying to go to college, if they see that you are an arsonist, they might not accept you,” says David, 15.
“It never goes away. It’s a permanent record of your stupidity,” says Griff, 17.
Tips for Parents
Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group, offers these tips:
Make sure your kids never use their real name or address when posting material on the Internet. Avoid posting any information that would allow a stranger to locate your child. This includes the name of a school or sports team or the city where you live.
– Griff, 17
Here’s a recipe for trouble: start with a teenager’s impulsive brain, add in a little peer pressure, a video camera and the Internet, and the results are violent assaults, dangerous crashes, and outrageous stunts – all captured on video and posted online.
On one website, there are videos of kids crashing while rollerblading … skiing while tied to a car … shooting fireworks at a friend.
“I saw this video of two friends, where one guy put himself in a garbage can and his friend pushed him down the street, and then it was going and going, and then bam! he just hit the door,” says Donte, 15.
In other news, eight Florida teens were arrested recently for beating up another teen. How did the police catch them? The teens posted the video of the assault online.
Because of the popularity of video-sharing sites such as YouTube, experts say that each week, kids try even more dangerous stunts to gain their 15 minutes of fame.
“It’s one-upmanship almost,” says Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert. “They say, ‘Well, he jumped off a 10-foot ladder … I’m going to do him one better. I’m going to jump off a 15-foot ladder.’ And then it will be a 20-foot and then a 30-foot [ladder].”
“They could say, ‘I jumped off my roof.’ And if someone doesn’t believe them, they could say, ‘Well, go check my Myspace. I have a video,’” says Derek, 15.
Experts say parents should explain that stunts are not just dangerous -- they may also have life-long consequences.
“You could do something stupid and then say, ‘I’m going to erase it.’ But you have to realize that [the video] could have been reproduced by hundreds if not thousands of people who have seen it,” says Phipps.
“It could have all sorts of effects, like when you are trying to go to college, if they see that you are an arsonist, they might not accept you,” says David, 15.
“It never goes away. It’s a permanent record of your stupidity,” says Griff, 17.
Tips for Parents
Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group, offers these tips:
Make sure your kids never use their real name or address when posting material on the Internet. Avoid posting any information that would allow a stranger to locate your child. This includes the name of a school or sports team or the city where you live.
Take your child’s level of maturity into account when deciding whether he or she can handle a video camera or web cam.
Make sure kids understand that videos they post on the Internet may damage their reputation. Often kids assume only their friends will view these videos. Explain that teachers, college admissions departments, police departments and prospective employers all scout the Internet to learn more about a person’s character
Additional tips for parents:
Realize that kids who post videos or profiles on the Internet are more likely to be contacted by a sexual predator.
Report any unwanted or inappropriate messages to law enforcement. (Joe Rosen, former FBI Agent)
If kids do want to post videos online, suggest they do something that would help others see them in a positive light. Have kids exercise their creativity. For example, write, film and video-edit a skit. (Melanie Mitchell, director, iD Tech Camps, Emory location)
References
iD Tech Camps
Joe Rosen, former FBI Agent
Harold W. Phipps, computer forensics expert, The Norcross Group
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
