Girls and Body Image

Source: Connect with Kids

“[Girls get the message], ‘This is who you should be, and this is what you should look like, this is the ideal,’ and the ideal isn’t even real.”

– Ann Moore, Ph.D., Psychologist

Beginning at a young age, girls have a desire to be beautiful.

“You’re learning who you are. You’re worrying about self-esteem issues, how you look,” 17-year-old Ginny says.

For some girls, the focus is on weight – the thinner, the better.

“The media just sort of drills it in, that this is the ideal body image, and you sort of feel the need to live up to that expectation,” says Robin, 16.

Friends Robin, Ginny and Halle agreed to an experiment designed to test their self-perception. Each was given a sheet of paper lined with silhouettes of various body images. They were asked to circle the image they felt best matched their own body.

After calculating their weight and height, each girl then circled an image that actually matched those numbers. The result turned out to be a thinner image than the one they originally chose. Why did the teens think they were heavier than they actually were?

“Everybody’s harder on themselves than they should be,” says Halle, 17.

According to a Georgia State University study of 14,000 high school students, a distorted body image increases the risk that a girl will attempt suicide.

One reason: media images that are unrealistic.

“[They get the message that], ‘This is who you should be, and this is what you should look like, this is the ideal,’ and the ideal isn’t even real,” says psychologist Dr. Ann Moore, program director for the Atlanta Center for Eating Disorders.

Robin, Ginny and Halle each say they have a pretty healthy self-image but recognize the potential danger for teens who don’t.

“If you have a really distorted body image, a lot of times you can start hurting yourself in totally unhealthy ways – crazy diets and anorexia and bulimia, or if you’re a guy, over-exercising your muscles,” Halle says.

The experts agree. They say parents can help counter a negative self-image by teaching their children, especially girls who are sometimes more vulnerable, how to focus on the things that are really important.

“[By] recognizing that she’s intelligent, recognizing that she’s got a lot of spunk, recognizing that she’s funny, that she’s got a great sense of humor. All of those things are much more important than what somebody looks like,” Dr. Moore says.

Tips for Parents

According to a study from the University of Delaware, teenage girls perceive themselves as weighing more than 10 pounds heavier than they actually do. For their study, researchers asked 172 adolescents (aged 13 to 17) to pick one of 27 silhouettes resembling how they see themselves and then pick another silhouette matching their ideal weight. The researchers found that girls on average viewed themselves as weighing 141 pounds, which was 8 pounds more than their average weight (133 pounds) and 11 pounds more than their ideal weight (130 pounds). While boys also saw themselves as weighing more than they did (185 pounds vs. 172 pounds), they picked a higher ideal weight (182 pounds) that was closer to their average weight.

What is body image? The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) defines body image as how one sees oneself when looking in a mirror or how one pictures oneself in one’s mind. Body image includes how a person feels not only about his or her weight but also height and shape.

It is important to understand that body images can be positive or negative. The NEDA cites the following descriptions for both a positive and negative body image:

Positive body image:

■Having a clear, true perception of one’s shape (seeing the various parts of the body as they really are)
■Celebrating and appreciating one’s natural body shape and understanding that a person’s physical appearance says very little about his or her character and value as a person
■Feeling proud and accepting of one’s unique body and refusing to spend an unreasonable amount of time worrying about food, weight and calories
■Feeling comfortable and confident in one’s body
Negative body image:

■Having a distorted perception of one’s shape (perceiving parts of the body unlike they really are)
■Being convinced that only other people are attractive and that one’s body size or shape is a sign of personal failure
■Feeling ashamed, self-conscious and anxious about one’s body
■Feeling uncomfortable and awkward in one’s body
So how can you determine if your teen has a negative body image and whether or not he or she is in danger? The experts at Chicago Parent magazine suggest looking for these trouble signs in your teen:

■Engaging in excessive exercise or training that isn’t required for his or her athletic activities at school and that intrudes on other important activities
■Engaging in sports for the sole purpose of improving appearance
■Having a preoccupation with looking like the extremely thin women or muscular men in the media
■Using large quantities of dietary supplements, such as creatine or protein powders, or steroids, such as ephedrine or androstenedione
■Experiencing sharp fluctuations in weight
■Fasting, attempting extreme diets or using laxatives, diuretics or other dangerous techniques to lose weight
■Feeling like he or she never looks good enough
■Needing frequent reassurance that he or she “looks OK”
■Thinking, worrying about and feeling distressed about his or her appearance
■Allowing his or her appearance concerns to limit social activities or negatively affect school or job performance
■Avoiding having all or part of his or her body seen by others (avoiding locker room situations or wearing clothes that alter or disguise his or her body)
If you recognize any of the signs previously listed, it is important that you talk with your teen about these issues as soon as possible. Whether your son or daughter has a negative body image, the University of South Florida suggests the following tips to help guide your discussion:

■Tell your teen how important it is that he or she identifies and accepts his or her strengths and weaknesses. Remind him or her that everyone has them and that no one is perfect.
■Remind your teen that goals must be realistic and he or she must take pride in his or her achievements.
■Tell your teen not to be someone else but to be proud of whom he or she is.
■Have your teen explore his or her own talents and learn to love and appreciate the unique person he or she has become.
As a parent, it is important to remember that you play a crucial role in how your teen feels about his or her body. You are often his or her role model, and your teen learns from what you say and do. To be a positive role model and to help prevent your teen from developing a negative body image, the NEDA suggests the following strategies:

■Consider your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors toward your own body and the way that these beliefs have been shaped by the forces of weightism and sexism.
■Educate your teen about the genetic basis for the natural diversity of human body shapes and sizes and the nature and ugliness of prejudice.
■Make an effort to maintain positive, healthy attitudes and behaviors.
■Avoid conveying messages that will lead your teen to believe he or she needs to look more like a model and fit into smaller clothes.
■Learn about and discuss with your teen the dangers of trying to alter one’s body shape through dieting, the value of moderate exercise for health and the importance of eating a variety of foods in well-balanced meals consumed at least three times a day.
■Make a commitment not to avoid activities, such as swimming, sunbathing, dancing, etc., simply because they call attention to your weight and shape.
■Make a commitment to exercise for the joy of feeling your body move and grow stronger, not to purge fat from your body or to compensate for calories eaten.
■Help your teen appreciate and resist the ways in which television, magazines and other media distort the true diversity of human body types and imply that a slender body means power, excitement, popularity or perfection.
■Encourage your teen to be active and to enjoy what his or her body can do and feel like. Do not limit his or her caloric intake unless a physician requests that you do this because of a medical problem.
■Do whatever you can to promote the self-esteem and self-respect of your teen in intellectual, athletic and social endeavors. Give boys and girls the same opportunities and encouragement. A well-rounded sense of self and solid self-esteem are perhaps the best antidotes to dangerous dieting and a negative body image.

References
■Chicago Parent
■Georgia State University
■National Eating Disorders Association
■University of Delaware
■University of South Florida

Sue Scheff: Special Needs Camps

Source: Connect with Kids

“I look forward to it all year long. I keep in touch with the people I meet there – it’s probably the best thing I do all summer.”

– Justin, a diabetic camper

Fourteen-year-old Justin and 15-year-old Katherine have diabetes, but their illness doesn’t keep them from looking forward to summer camp.

“From the moment I leave, I’m looking forward to next year,” Katherine says. “It’s such a great experience, and it’s just so much fun.”

They play games, go canoeing and perform in talent shows just like other kids. And that’s the point, experts say.

“There is nothing like for a child with cancer or a child with diabetes to get out of the car or get off the bus and come into this group and realize, ‘everyone is in the same boat as me, and I don’t feel different anymore,’” says Dorothy Jordan, who founded Camp Sunshine, a camp for kids with cancer.

She says children with disabilities get as much – and maybe even more – out of camp as non-disabled kids. They don’t just have fun; they make friends who understand their problems.

“When I was first diagnosed, I couldn’t get over the shock that I was going to have to get two shots a day and have to prick my finger four times a day. I was just stunned and like, ‘who else has this?’” Justin explains.

Attending Camp Kudzu, a camp for kids with diabetes, helps Justin meet others who have the same disease.

Justin and Katherine are so excited about camp that they’re training to bike ride 70 miles – from home all the way to camp – to raise money for camp scholarships.

“He said my dream is that every child with diabetes should have the chance to go regardless of their ability to pay, and I want to do something to raise money,” says Avril Beckford Rowley, Justin’s mother.

Still, experts recommend that before you send your disabled child to camp, you should first ask some important questions: Is the camp accredited? Are the counselors prepared for medical trouble? Is the nursing staff equipped for your child’s challenge?

“You ask all the right questions, and if you can get the right answers, and you can have confidence in the program, it’s absolutely the right thing to do,” Jordan says.

Tips for Parents

For most, summer vacation is here. And many children are preparing for an unforgettable camp experience – and children with special needs are no exception. According to the Disabilities Statistics Center, an estimated 4 million children and adolescents, or 6.1% of the U.S. population under 18 years of age, have disabilities. And of the more than 12,000 camps in the United States, a large portion of them are designed specifically to fit the needs of disabled children. Whether your child has a learning or behavioral problem, a chronic illness or a mental or physical impairment, several camps are available to meet your child’s specific needs.

Why should your special needs child attend camp? According to the American Camp Association (ACA), your child can reap numerous benefits:

■Making new friends: Camp is a special place where your child can learn how to make a friend and how to be a friend. Counselors are trained to make sure that your child starts making friends as soon as he or she arrives, because camp is a community where kids work and play together, contribute and cooperate with each other.
■Enjoying a variety of activities: At camp, your child can experience tons of new activities – athletics, arts and crafts, dance, drama, nature, boating, computers and more.
■Making personal decisions: Attending camp provides your child with an opportunity to make his or her own decisions. Limits and boundaries exist so that your child will always feel safe, yet your child will be encouraged to make good choices. Camp is a place to practice growing up, under the watchful eye of trained, caring counselors.
■Feeling good about himself or herself: Through the camp experience, your child can learn to believe in himself or herself and to develop the courage to try new tasks.
■Being part of a special community: At camp, your child will have the opportunity to interact with other children. The camp experience is based on the building blocks of self-esteem: belonging, learning and contributing. Your child will learn to cooperate within a group and to respect others’ opinions.
■Having fun: Spending time at camp will allow your child to take a much-needed break from his or her problems. Your child can relax and forget about everything else except having FUN!
The Respite Coalition of Illinois lists these additional camp benefits for disabled children and their caregivers:

■Reduction in family stress
■Reduction in risk of abuse or neglect of disabled child
■Enhancement of family coping abilities
■Increased feelings of well-being
■Reduced feelings of depression
■Revitalization of caregivers’ energies
■Avoidance of burnout for caregiver
Choosing the right camp for your child can seem like an overwhelming task. Experts with the National Camp Association suggest asking the following questions while searching for a camp that fits your child’s needs:

■What is the camp director’s age and background? How long has the director run this camp?
■What are the camp’s goals and philosophy?
■What kind of camper is most likely to have a good experience at this camp?
■What facilities does the camp have, and how convenient are they for campers?
■What is the schedule like? Is it a structured program or one that emphasizes a lot of free choice?
■What is the camper-counselor ratio, and what are the characteristics of most of the staff?
■What kind of staff training is provided?
■What percentage of campers return each year?
■What is the total cost of the camp, including extras?
■What are the sleeping arrangements, and what types of toilet and shower facilities exist?
■What is the swimming instruction program like?
■How does the camp insure the safety and security of its campers?
■What is the food like, and who prepares it?
■What is the policy about food packages, letters home, television, trips to town, etc.?
■What medical facilities are available, and what medical staff is on campus?
■Is there a refund policy if the camper leaves early?
■Will the director supply references?
■What happens when the weather is bad?
■How does the camp program meet individual needs and differences?
■What kind of insurance coverage exists?

Don’t feel self-conscious about asking dozens of questions. A good camp will have paid a lot of attention to these parental concerns and should be eager to respond to them.

Once you find a camp that suits the needs of your child, the ACA advises parents to consider the following points to help prepare their children for a rewarding camp experience:

■Consider camp as a learning experience. This is an opportunity for your child to explore a world bigger than his or her neighborhood. It will allow him or her to develop autonomy and a stronger sense of self, make new friends, develop new social skills, learn about teamwork, be creative and more.
■Prepare for camp together. Decisions about camp, like what to pack, should be a joint venture, keeping in mind your child’s maturity. If your child feels like he or she is a part of the decision-making process, his or her chances of having a positive experience will improve.
■Talk about concerns. As the first day of camp nears, some children experience uneasiness about going away. Encourage your child to talk about these feelings rather than acting on what you think his or her feelings may be. Communicate confidence in your child’s ability to handle being away from home.
■Have realistic expectations. Camp, like the rest of life, has high and low points. Not every moment will be filled with wonder and excitement. Encourage your child to have a reasonable and realistic view of camp. Discuss both the ups and downs your child may experience. Your child should not feel pressured to succeed at camp, either. The main purposes of camp are to relax and have fun.
References
■American Camping Association
■Disability Statistics Center
■National Camp Association
■Respite Coalition of Illinois
■Camp Kudzu
■Camp Sunshine

Accessibility of RX Medication and Teens

Source: Connect with Kids

“There is a tremendous amount of medicines out there that are readily available in the bathrooms, in the cabinets at home as well as on the black market.”

– Steven Jaffe, M.D., adolescent psychiatrist

Many kids say they can get any prescription drug they might want. Joseph Caspar, 17, says he could get “vicodin, morphine, anything like that.” Patti Strickland says she could even get methadone.

According to the Partnership for a Drug-Free America, 61 percent of teens say prescription drugs are easier to get than any other drug.

One reason … easy accessibility.

“This is the age of medication,” explains Dr. Steven Jaffe, adolescent psychiatrist. “I think there is a tremendous amount of all sorts of medicines out there that are readily available in the bathrooms, in the cabinets at home as well as on the black market.”

In fact, kids say the medicine cabinet is the first place they look. “That’s mostly how it starts,” says 16-year-old T.J. Crutain.

That’s why, experts say, prescription medicine needs to be locked up.

“We have gun cabinets that are locked up to keep guns away from our teenagers,” says Dr. Herb Kleber, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University. “We should also develop locked medicine cabinets in order to help secure these agents so that it isn’t easy for teenagers to get to them.”

Carol Thomas recently lost her son, Ross, when he overdosed on prescription drugs. Ross was 16-years-old.

“Ross didn’t get anything from [our] medicine cabinet, but I know parents have it and there’s nothing wrong with that,” says Thomas. “If you need medication, you need medication. But I think that we’re silly to walk around and dangle a carrot in front of a kid’s face.”


Tips for Parents

OxyContin is a controlled-release pain reliever that can drive away pain for up to 12 hours when used properly. When used improperly, however, OxyContin is a highly addictive opioid closely related to morphine. As individuals abuse the drug, the effects lessen over time, leading to higher dosage use.

Consider the following:

The supply of OxyContin is soaring. Sales of OxyContin, first marketed in 1996, hit $1.2 billion in 2003.

The FDA reports that OxyContin may have played a role in 464 deaths across the country in 2000 to 2001.

In 2000, 43 percent of those who ended up in hospital emergency rooms from drug overdoses – nearly 500,000 people – were there because of misusing or abusing prescription drugs.
In seven cities in 2000 (Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami, New York, Seattle, and Washington, D.C.) 626 people died from overdose of painkillers and tranquilizers. By 2001, such deaths had increased in Miami and Chicago by 20 percent.

From 1998 to 2000, the number of people entering an emergency room because of misusing or abusing oxycodone (OxyContin) rose 108 percent. The rates are intensifying … from mid-2000 to mid-2001, oxycodone went up in emergency room visits 44 percent.

OxyContin is typically abused in one of three ways …

By removing the outer coating and chewing the tablet.
By dissolving the tablet in water and injecting the fluid intravenously.
By crushing the tablet and snorting the powder.

Because the U.S. Food and Drug Administration puts its seal of approval on prescription drugs, many teens mistakenly believe that using these drugs – even if they are not prescribed to them – is safe. However, this practice can, in fact, lead to addiction and severe side effects. How can you determine if your teen is abusing drugs? The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests looking for the following warning signs and symptoms in your teen:

Physical: Fatigue, repeated health complaints, red and glazed eyes and a lasting cough
Emotional: Personality change, sudden mood changes, irritability, irresponsible behavior, low self-esteem, poor judgment, depression and a general lack of interest

Familial: Starting arguments, breaking rules or withdrawing from the family
School-related: Decreased interest, negative attitude, drop in grades, many absences, truancy and discipline problems

Social: having new friends who are less interested in standard home and school activities, problems with the law, and changes to less conventional styles in dress and music

If you believe your teen has a problem with drug abuse, you can take several steps to get the help he or she needs.

The American Academy of Family Physicians suggests contacting your health-care provider so that he or she can perform an adequate medical evaluation in order to match the right treatment or intervention program with your teen.

You can also contact a support group in your community dedicated to helping families coping with addiction.

Substance abuse can be an overwhelming issue with which to deal, but it doesn’t have to be.

The Partnership for a Drug-Free America offers the following strategies to put into practice so that your teen can reap the rewards of a healthy, drug-free life:

Be your teen’s greatest fan.

Compliment him or her on all of his or her efforts, strength of character and individuality.

Encourage your teen to get involved in adult-supervised after-school activities.

Ask him or her what types of activities he or she is interested in and contact the school principal or guidance counselor to find out what activities are available.

Sometimes it takes a bit of experimenting to find out which activities your teen is best suited for, but it’s worth the effort – feeling competent makes children much less likely to use drugs.

Help your teen develop tools he can use to get out of drug-related situations.

Let him or her know he or she can use you as an excuse: “My mom would kill me if I smoked marijuana!”

Get to know your teen’s friends and their parents. Set appointments for yourself to call them and check-in to make sure they share your views on alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.

Steer your teen away from any friends who use drugs.

Call teens’ parents if their home is to be used for a party.

Make sure that the party will be drug-free and supervised by adults.

Set curfews and enforce them. Let your teen know the consequences of breaking curfew.

Set a no-use rule for alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.

Sit down for dinner with your teen at least once a week. Use the time to talk – don’t eat in front of the television.

Get – and stay – involved in your teen’s life.

References
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
American Academy of Family Physicians
Partnership for a Drug-Free America
National Institute on Drug Abuse
U.S. Food & Drug Administration

Parent Addicts

ADDICTED PARENTS

Source: Connect with Kids

“I was afraid when I’d go to school, she’d get drunk and hurt herself, or get behind the wheel, or crash into somebody.”

– George Evans, 15, child of recovering alcoholic

Every year, the government spends billions of dollars on the war on drugs. Yet, in millions of homes across the country, that battle made even more difficult because kids live with an adult who uses drugs.

One such household was George Evans’ home.

He used to skip school for days, even weeks at a time, mostly because of his mother. “I was afraid when I’d go to school, she’d get drunk and hurt herself, or get behind the wheel, or crash into somebody,” George remembers.

Between Kindergarten and the eighth grade, George missed over four hundred days of school. But as Steve Harris, licensed clinical social worker, explains, “It’s an extreme case in the degree to which it’s happening, missing 400 days of school, it’s common in the sense of the role reversal.”

George’s mom, Starlet agrees, “Your child feels that they have to be there to watch you.”

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, over 9 million children live with a parent who abuses drugs or alcohol.

And experts say that instability can be harmful to kids.

“Effects such as conduct disorders, higher rates of anxiety or depression, certainly a higher rate of problems in school, behavior problems,” and Harris says, a higher rate of addiction among those children.

“If it’s the parent who’s using the substance, then the child is at a greater likelihood for substance abuse, genetically as well as environmentally,” he explains.

And, he says, too often parents don’t view nicotine as a serious addiction and forget how tobacco can harm their kids in one other way, “It seems minor in terms of the social acceptance of it, but I’ve also worked with a lot of people whose parents have died of lung cancer. And that’s a pretty profound effect on anybody’s life.”

With a lot of help, George’s mom is no longer drinking, and George is back in school. “It makes my job a little easier to go to school,” says George, “we both kind of needed that stability.”


Tips for Parents

There is an extraordinarily large number of children at risk because of parental drug use. Experts at the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration surveyed over 87,000 parents aged 18 and older about their substance dependence and abuse. They found nearly 12 percent of children live with a parent who abuses drugs.

Almost 7.3 million youths lived with a parent who was dependent on or abused alcohol
About 2.1 million children lived with a parent who was dependent on or abused illicit drugs
About 5.4 million children lived with a father who met the criteria for past-year substance dependence or abuse
About 3.4 million children lived with a mother who met these criteria

According to experts at American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology (AACAP), a child in a substance-abusing family may have a variety of problems including:

Guilt – The child may see himself or herself as the main cause of the mother’s or father’s drinking.

Anxiety – The child may worry constantly about the situation at home. He/she may fear the alcoholic parent will become sick or injured, and may also fear fights and violence between the parents.

Embarrassment – Parents may give the child the message that there is a terrible secret at home. The ashamed child does not invite friends home and is afraid to ask anyone for help.
Inability to have close relationships

Confusion – The alcoholic parent will change suddenly from being loving to angry, regardless of the child’s behavior. A regular daily schedule, which is very important for a child, does not exist because bedtimes and mealtimes are constantly changing.

Anger – The child feels anger at the substance-abusing parent for using drugs, and may be angry with the non-using parent for lack of support and protection.
Depression – The child feels lonely and helpless to change the situation.

Although the child tries to keep the drug use a secret, teachers, relatives, other adults or friends may sense that something is wrong. Child and adolescent psychiatrists with AACAP advise that the following behaviors may signal a substance abuse problem at home:

Failure in school and/or truancy
Lack of friends and/or withdrawal from classmates
Delinquent behavior, such as stealing or violence
Frequent physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches
Abuse of drugs or alcohol
Aggression toward other children
Risk-taking behaviors
Depression or suicidal thoughts or behavior

The following are some suggestions from experts at the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information for actions that families or friends can take to prevent substance abuse by teens for whom they are responsible:

Establish and enforce rules against underage drinking. Keep alcohol, tobacco products and prescription drugs out of the reach of children too young to adhere to such rules. Do not use or store illegal drugs in your home. Avoid exposing others to tobacco smoke and acknowledge that regular smoking is unhealthy.

Be clear and consistent in stating your expectation that underage youth in your charge will not use alcohol, tobacco or other drugs (ATOD). Let other parents know your views if your children are going to be guests in their homes.

Be aware of the connection between alcohol and other drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. Make children aware that using alcohol and other drugs can lead to unplanned and unprotected sex. Many drugs, including alcohol and tobacco products, interfere with the body’s immune system.

If a family member exhibits signs of an ATOD problem, be prepared to connect them with appropriate help in your area. Know what alcoholism, addiction and ATOD dependence are, and what resources are available to you.
Help children and adolescents learn the health, safety and legal consequences of using ATOD. Be sure they understand that alcohol and tobacco are drugs and are as dangerous as illegal drugs.
Model low-risk alcohol use and ask others in your community to do so as well. Be a responsible host.

Be sure children have easy access to a wide range of appealing, ATOD-free alternative activities and safe, monitored areas where they can gather.

Discuss alcohol and tobacco advertising and marketing. Ask what he/she thinks about these messages, whether he/she understands their purpose, and whether he/she recognizes that these messages do not teach the possible harmful effects of using these products.

Be a positive role model. Do not engage in any illegal, unhealthy or dangerous ATOD-use practices. Provide an example consistent with your messages to the child.

Provide lots of love, support and encouragement and help a child learn to do something well.

References
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology
National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information

Parent's Influence on Teen Drinking

Source: Connect with Kids

“My parents are pretty powerful in my life. I have their respect, and they have mine.”
– Deepak, 16 years old

Teenagers are bound to experiment with drugs, alcohol and sex – right?

Not necessarily, says 15-year-old Nick. “It’s not inevitable,” he says. “It’s just a personal decision.”

“There’s [sic] a lot of people who just don’t want to try any of that stuff, but there are some people who do,” says 15-year-old Chris Mullings.

The Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs reports that when underage drinkers are disciplined by their parents they are less likely to become heavy drinkers compared to kids whose parents ignore their drinking.

“My parents have a pretty big influence on everything that I believe in – what I will and won’t do,” says Elizabeth, 15.

Nick echoes her sentiments. “For all my decisions, I’m always thinking about what they taught me, and even if I don’t do what they said, it’s still always in my head,” he says.

What’s more, teens themselves say parents help them make healthy choices by talking to them and knowing where they are, whom they’re with and what they’re doing. And when their expectations are clear.

“If they have heard what you think is appropriate behavior and you have modeled it, when they are in a position where they have to think critically, they have already had a chance to, in some ways, rehearse it,” says psychologist Dr. Peter Thomas.

And, experts say, if you find your teen has been experimenting- speak up!

“By not commenting directly, they’re, in essence, giving their child permission to continue to drink or get stoned or do whatever they’re doing because the child will interpret their silence as its okay, it doesn’t matter,” explains psychologist, Alexandra Phipps. “I would tell parents if you don’t talk about things with your child, it’s probably going to happen again and again and it’s probably going to get worse.”

Tips for Parents

Research defines binge drinking as having five or more drinks in a row. Reasons adolescents give for binge drinking include: to get drunk, the status associated with drinking, the culture of drinking on campus, peer pressure and academic stress. Binge drinkers are 21 times more likely to: miss class, fall behind in schoolwork, damage property, injure themselves, engage in unplanned and/or unprotected sex, get in trouble with the police, and drink and drive.
Young people who binge drink could be risking serious damage to their brains now and increasing memory loss later in adulthood. Adolescents may be even more vulnerable to brain damage from excessive drinking than older drinkers.

Consider the following:

The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13. The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.

Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.

Seventy-seven percent of young drinkers get their liquor at home, with or without permission.

Students who are binge drinkers in high school are three times more likely to binge drink in college.

Nearly 25 percent of college students report frequent binge drinking, that is, they binged three or more times in a two-week period.

Autopsies show that patients with a history of chronic alcohol abuse have smaller, less massive and more shrunken brains.

Alcohol abstinence can lead to functional and structural recovery of alcohol-damaged brains.
Alcohol is America’s biggest drug problem. Make sure your child understands that alcohol is a drug and that it can kill him/her. Binge drinking is far more pervasive and dangerous than boutique pills and other illicit substances in the news. About 1,400 students will die of alcohol-related causes this year. An additional 500,000 will suffer injuries.

A study by the Harvard School of Public Health showed that 51 percent of male college students and 40 percent of female college students engaged in binge drinking in the previous two weeks. Half of these drinkers binged frequently (more than three times per week). College students who binge drink report:

Interruptions in sleep or study habits (71 percent).
Caring for an intoxicated student (57 percent).
Being insulted or humiliated (36 percent).
An unwanted sexual experience (23 percent).
A serious argument (23 percent).
Damaging property (16 percent).
Being pushed, hit or assaulted (11 percent).
Being the victim of a sexual advance assault or date rape (1 percent).

Students must arrive on college campuses with the ability to resist peer pressure and knowing how to say no to alcohol. For many youngsters away from home for the first time, it is difficult to find the courage to resist peer pressure and the strength to answer peer pressure with resounding no. Parents should foster such ability in their child’s early years and nurture it throughout adolescence. Today’s youth needs constant care from parents and community support to make the best decisions for their wellbeing.

References
Alcohol Policies Project
Focus Adolescent Services
Harvard School of Public Health
National Youth Violence Prevention Center
Psychological Assessment Research & Treatment Services